Conditioning

Coming into One’s Own Power

Last week I shared some of the wisdom to be garnered from Dreams if we have obtained the knowledge and skills to use their guidance. This week the story continues by illustrating just how powerful dreams can be in relation to uncovering the depth of a situation, assisting us to shed and heal conditioned patterns of behaviour we can repeatedly subconsciously attract to us, whilst also transforming our reactive behaviours into responses.

In Dreaming, a male I have known for over a decade approaches me, he has a blonde woman with him. I know they are here to tell me they are wanting to be together, and then he says so. He appears intoxicated as a consequence of either alcohol or perhaps some type of drugs. It is obvious he is not thinking or acting clearly in his normally lucid non-reactive, kind and empathetic manner. His aggressiveness in this situation creates a huge argument between us, the first ever, and to end it as I have no time or energy for arguing with anyone, I tell him that’s fine, off you go then, but don’t say I haven’t warned you about the woman you are choosing to involve yourself with.

Then the woman in the dream is suddenly holding both my wrists and will not let go. I feel infuriation at this violation and bondage. I start screaming at her, using expletives, to let go of my wrists. I struggle with her and eventually break free. Her grip had been tight and left its’ mark. Having freed myself, I am right in her face, screaming at her that if she EVER does that to me again, I will knock her out cold and kick her arse to the kerb. I can’t recall feeling so enraged and explosive, in a very long time.

The scene shifts and I am now in “Observer Mode”. My awareness is looking at the scene of the three of us. Paths appear, one to my left and one to my right. The left leads towards a dark, murky, icky feeling place and the right to a space of brightness, vibrancy, colour, peace and love. My friend and this woman take the left path together and as I am deciding which path I will take, the lines from Stairway to Heaven,

“Yes, there are two paths you can go by
But in the long run
There’s still time to change the road you’re on”

come to mind.

I do not follow my friend and this woman, for I choose, at that moment, to take the right path and see myself walking away in that direction.

For me left is symbolic of past, of what is needing to be left behind, is coming from the past or what type of behaviour is needing to be let go of if a symbolic aspect of Self moves in that direction. Right is future and forward movement because all that yet awaits us is there on our “right” path.

Emerging from this experience, I felt clarity and peace regarding the action I now knew I needed to take, which I previously hadn’t been experiencing. A parting of the ways was coming between this friend and me and it was up to me to cut the ties after a month of retreating and putting together the puzzle pieces. For the sake of both our continued growth and learning and perhaps even healing purposes, there was nothing more of value, for now, we could bring into each other’s lives. I knew whatever now awaited both of us, I would need some alone time and ultimately, we would both need different people in our lives to accomplish it with. If subconsciously, or perhaps consciously, the obnoxious manner in which I felt I had been treated, was being done deliberately to push me away it was working effectively but it really was not necessary. An honest conversation would have been much more preferable but that is how he appeared to be choosing to deal with it.

The dream’s messages and what this waking reality was showing me revealed that once again I was dealing with masculine energy I had been attracting since childhood. It was exactly the same energy as my two main male role models had been, unavailable in one form or another and/or abusive and disrespectful. The woman symbolised the part of me who had been holding me back, keeping me feeling loyal to my friend and hopeful of the various things we had discussed we would like to do together, which never came to pass. Synchronicity began coming into play also with numbers and other symbols/signs that were coming my way. The final confirmation arrived when I heard the song “Time to move on”, by Tom Petty, for the first time.

The path before me was clear as were the underlying reasons for my friend’s behaviour. The gift they were freely giving me was that I was in yet another, and I highly suspect and hope the last, process of freeing myself from this unfulfilling energy that I had always given my all to where others were concerned and in return I would be ultimately shocked by their behaviour, brought down, abused and held back.

Events then occurred which showed me clearly those who try to fool me, only truly fool themselves as all I had intuitively known, came to pass. I cannot say the process was painless, even though I acted swiftly, not dissimilar to the Queen of Swords energy in the Tarot, once I knew the time was right to state my intention to walk away and leave the pair of them to it. So whilst my friend was busy reactively blowing up long-standing bridges to smithereens with myself and my family, thanks to my inner guidance and wisdom, I was able to fully grieve the loss of this longstanding friendship and walk away calmly, with peace and acceptance, grace, integrity and gratitude, taking many beautiful and funny memories with me.

The only permanent aspect of life is impermanence and when I know intuitively, something is going on that just doesn’t make any logical sense I take extra notice of what my dreams are telling me. If I need to make a change in my life, regardless of how painful I know it will be for me, I will do so because if I don’t, I am just putting off the inevitable. It’s a futile exercise and a total waste of what precious little time I have left of my life, as it just creates more pain and suffering for myself and others, the longer I put it off. If I delay for too long, life situations will arise that historically have made the situation even worse, created very unpleasant memories, some of which have been traumatic and are akin to a Universal kick up the backside or clip around the ear, in order to keep me moving, changing, growing, learning and evolving.

The past six months or so have been ones of great change where my intrinsic values and boundaries of how I want to be treated by others have become a lot clearer and firmer. Many folk have fallen by the wayside as a result and the dynamics in some other relationships has also altered for the better. To those who did fall by the wayside I wish you all well and am grateful for all the known and unknown love and support you have gifted me with, in my journey towards stepping back into my own power more fully after three decades, so far, of healing from the abusive and dishonest and unkind behaviour, I had been attracting most of my life, until recently, in one form or another. Inner growth: It never stops.

Living In Now

It seems to me for many of us living in right here, right now is one of the greatest challenges we all face given our conditioning. For most of us who have been brought up in western culture we think in lineal terms of past, present and future. We think in terms of what has been, what is next, where we are going, what we want to achieve and many of us like to make plans, be organised and know what we will be doing from one moment, one hour, one day, one week to the next. All of which really just becomes a story we tell ourselves we become attached to and often re-act to, if it doesn’t go according to our little plan or story we are creating around it all.

My mum, bless her, was the Queen of Organisation as I was growing up. She had to be as she worked and also ran a home consisting of herself and five other people. We all had our set jobs and times/days when they were to occur. Her week was mapped out and ours with it, so I was brought up in a very well organised environment where we always knew what we were doing from one minute to the next, generally speaking. Being organised and knowing what I would be doing, whilst many curved balls occurred, was rather comfortable. I grew to see the more organised I was, the less stressed I became when I myself became a mother. This flowed into my work and whilst I am not as rigid as my mother felt she needed to be, her influence couldn’t but help rub off on me.

Working in the legal industry for nearly three decades also reinforced my organisational skills. For many years I too made plans and was set in an automatic daily rhythm, which gradually turned into a rut, ultimately boring me silly and sapping me of excitement and joy for life. I also began to see that organisation, whilst it alleviated stress and helped me achieve goals, when it was out of balance and too rigid, was a form of needing to control.

As I started to become more aware and more conscious of time not really existing, of all time being now and of there only truly being one time anything can occur, that being the right time, life became easier, disappointment and emotional re-actions became less as I learned not to expect anything and I began to experience detachment to ever so much.

Less plans were made and I moved from what many of us term “going with the flow” to becoming one with the flow of life. I became less attached to things, to people and to outcomes, more open to spontaneity and realised the most I could ever have in terms of plans in place was a very basic skeletal plan for one day at a time, no longer for a whole week and certainly not as is often asked in job interviews – where do you see yourself in 5 or 10 years time? How can we honestly even know that? That we put pressure on ourselves and our children with a question such as that or one like – What do you want to be/do when you grow up – is so very indicative of our cultural conditioning and it is conditioning which so very often robs us of the moment of now, along with the infinite possibilities that exist, by becoming set on a fixed direction or plan for not only our day but also our lives and anything in our lives we are wanting to achieve. I learned the hard way that plans NEVER go according to plan.

As I moved more and more consciously into the moment of now, anything that didn’t feel right to do or wasn’t working I would let slide and move onto whatever was next for it seemed and still seems senseless to me to get myself all stressed, frustrated etc., if I am wanting to do something and everything around that thing is just not working. I began to see how very stressed and distressed folk often become if things don’t go according to their plan and how the expectation of their plan manifesting leads to major disappointment and sometimes even angst which creates barriers to come up with other folk in their lives. I also began to see that if something isn’t working as we want it to, it just means something else needs to fall in place which will make it even better than we thought it would be. Until all the pieces of any puzzle are in place and until energy matches up the time is just not right for whatever to manifest in the physical. Often too if we want to do something and it just isn’t happening, we are actually being protected.

I “thought” I had “got” this whole it’s okay to have a skeletal plan and to just be one with the flow of life, being fully present in each moment without any thought of what was next, to do list and calendar in place so I wouldn’t forget anything important which needed to be done, as it all seemed to be working just fine and dandy, until this week.

I was in a situation where communication hadn’t happened effectively and I didn’t know what it was I was “supposed” to be doing next. I started re-acting as I’d been told one thing, which suddenly changed and now I was floundering and getting frustrated. I was also totally confused. This lack of organisation wasn’t sitting well with me and I could feel myself starting to get really annoyed as my head told the story of how it would be so much better if communication had of been clear from the outset which would have alleviated my thinking I was doing this thing, then suddenly I was doing something entirely different, that I wasn’t really expecting or prepared for. It was all pushing me out of my own little comfort zone, what little there is left of it.

Along came the wisdom of another and the lesson they were giving me. Seriously what did it really matter what I was doing next? Just because I “thought” I was going to be doing one thing which then changed and I was clueless and confused, who was really creating that confusion? The person who had not as far as I was concerned communicated effectively? Or me for having a story in my head of what I thought I would be doing next, which was pushing me into future, into an emotional re-action and out of being fully present in the moment?

I couldn’t help but laugh at the simplicity of the wisdom, the lesson or the very effective way in which this other person had actually taught me this lesson of all that is truly needed by any of us, is to just show up, do whatever is needed in the moment and truly enjoy each and every moment of now without any thought of what is next.

Cheers, Cheryl.

•*´☾☆☽`*•

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#Cheryl O’Connor. #Cheoco
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DREAMING TRUE – A FREE INTRODUCTORY DREAMWORK WEBINAR

I have now finalised all I need to so that I can present the first in a series of webinars I am putting together which will be hosted in The Wellness Universe Lounge at the end of January.

This class is a prerequisite class for all future classes and I invite you to join me by registering at Dreaming True as it will be informative and fun. If the time and date doesn’t suit, once you have registered you can watch the recording when it works for you. The AEST time given is for Brisbane, Australia. EST (USA).

It will be an interactive 60 minutes during which we will be exploring how you can use Dreamwork to assist and empower you 24/7 whether you recall your dreams or not. All you need will be an open mind along with writing and drawing materials.

If you have any questions please contact me. Cheers, Cheryl.

•*´☾☆☽`*•

Get your free Dreamwork Booklet at bit.ly/CheocoNews when you sign up for my monthly Newsletter. Cheers, Cheryl.

#Cheryl O’Connor. #Cheoco
#Holistic #Counsellor, #Author & #Writer.

Twitter: @cheoco99

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RECONNECTING WITH OUR INNER CHILD

Within the confines of being told we have to “grow up,” we lose ever so much. Our conditioning is such that as children we begin to learn to fear the world and just about everything and everyone in it, hearing more often “don’t,” than “do.”

The inner child begins to shut down and off to a world that was once magical, full of adventure, imagination, play, fun, beauty, excitement and sheer delight. Just watch any child as they start to explore the world – all is new and exciting. The feel of grass underfoot, the raindrops dripping, the love of singing, dance, water play, mud, creativity and laughter just because they are happy and want to have fun.

When expressing anger or frustration they are often told don’t behave like that and are these days sent to the naughty corner. When parents fear they will fall from the tree they are climbing or fear whatever else they do, or tell them what they experience is not “real,” when they are taught to seek approval from others at such a young age, are told things about themselves and the world by adults they fully believe because the adults said so, are yelled at, hit, abused and so it goes on, all that joy, excitement and sheer delight with just the pure magic of being alive seems to disappear. Lost and seemingly gone forever as life becomes nothing more than a “job” full of adult responsibilities, concerns, worries, anxiety, conformity and fear which then leads to illness, addiction, depression, reckless behaviour, more abuse and sadly in some situations the taking of one’s own life.

I was once told as a child, only children can enter “The Kingdom of Heaven.” This terrified me at that time because I figured once I became an adult – straight to “Hell” I would go, forever. In many ways, we do go to Hell though because due to the adult behaviour around us and the beliefs and projections which shape us we lose conscious awareness of all that is childlike. Yet we are also told we need to be childlike to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.

The ability to make friends easily, to trust, to have fun unless we are drunk, stoned or participating in other activities that bring momentary pleasure from outside ourselves all goes. If we were feeling joyous and broke out in song on the morning train commute, for example, we would be given strange looks like something was “wrong” with us. So we conform, we play the game the adults around us play and we do indeed lose a huge part of ourselves along the way. Many become miserable and bitter, negative, resentful, spiteful, manipulative, greedy, needy, liars and haters who try to desperately control others around them. Each day becomes a chore to drag oneself through and many literally start looking like robotic walking dead.

For myself I had to “grow up” very quickly, leaving home at only 14, and life for me became a matter of survival for many decades. Survive I did, ever so much, but it was just that – surviving, not thriving.

We speak of “The Journey Home” and how we are all on the same journey back to conscious awareness of all we once knew before it was shut down because of fear and conformity. For myself, it took decades of Self work and inner child work to reach where I am at within myself now, which feels like “home” to me

Some of the tools I used along the way which can help are:

Pay attention to what your dreams and daily synchronicity are telling you. If you don’t know – learn.
Spend time alone in nature.
Use your dominant writing hand to ask your inner child a question, swap hands and wait for the answer to be written. Go with the very first thing that comes, do NOT think oooh that’s just nonsense.
Do not doubt what others told you was “just your imagination” – whatever you experience is real for you because it is YOUR experience.
Try to remember things you used to LOVE to do as a child and MAKE time to do them on a regular basis.
Run with your gut feelings about anything and everything – don’t pay attention to your logical doubts and fears which have been instilled in you by others.
Pay attention to any memories or feelings that come – especially those which create an emotional reaction and ask yourself “Where is this TRULY coming from?” Wait patiently for the answer to come to you.
Parent your own inner child. Most of our inner children are scared, lost, angry, hurt and confused and often feel like they have been abandoned, which they have been. Mine was SO angry and hurt it took months of solid work for her to even feel safe enough again to just start dialoguing with me.
Don’t blame, hate or punish your parents for the damage done – they did the best they could with the awareness they had, they still are and at some stage we all have to actually accept responsibility for ourselves and start to parent our own inner child.

As a child, I wanted desperately to live “Somewhere over the Rainbow.” It was however quite literally a journey into, through and out the other side of Hell to follow my own yellow brick road, but it was worth every single step to reach “home” and the “Kingdom of Heaven.” That isn’t some place in the sky as so many of us were told it was, but is within each of us and fully accessible to all of us by reconnecting with our own inner child.

Cheers, Cheryl.

•*´☾☆☽`*•

Get your free Dreamwork Booklet at bit.ly/CheocoNews when you sign up for my monthly Newsletter. Cheers, Cheryl.

#Cheryl O’Connor. #Cheoco
#Holistic #Counsellor, #Author & #Writer.

Twitter: @cheoco99

Proud Member of The Wellness Universe www.TheWellnessUniverse.com
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Are we truly busy?

“The most common thing I hear folk say these days when asked how they are is “Busy”.

Today’s technology was essentially designed to make things easier, give us all more “time” and yet it appears to me it has failed to do that. If anything we all seem to be way busier than we were a couple of decades ago, with seemingly never-ending to-do lists, copious emails that flood our inboxes, umpteen “notifications” by way of social media, errands to run and so it goes on. This influx of things to be attended to is often overwhelming and creates stress, for we are now living in a time where we think we need to attend to ever so much immediately.

I’ve been pondering this standard comment we all seem to be giving these days of I’m busy or you are busy. I have a huge variety of activities in my life simply because I do not do boring and mundane well at all and abhor being stuck in any sort of rut. Variety is indeed my spice in life and to have any two days spent doing exactly the same thing is my worst case scenario. Many interpret that as me being busy.

I spoke in my last article about living in NOW. Such a hard thing for so many of us to achieve and yet, once you do get the hang of it, it is very easy. As I looked back on all my years of being unconsciously busy, rushing here and there, achieving this and that, the stress that comes with always being busy and the many comments I hear of “busy” I had an epiphany of sorts. When we are fully present in right here and now “busy” is totally eliminated. How so?

Well, I saw that busyness lives in our heads and only occurs when we move out of now and think “a head” too far. Often we become overwhelmed with how much we think we need to do or must do, which in fact, we are all choosing to do for no-one is making us do anything. When we are so busy we miss the moment of now for always we are thinking I need to do this, then that, then that and on it goes, usually ticking things off either in our heads or lists as we go. Often not even fully focussed on whatever it is we are doing right now, due to thoughts of once this is done then the next thing needs to be done.

I also saw that much stress lies in the busyness of our minds and the things we choose to do that we perceive “make” us all so busy. I saw that being in the moment of now with absolutely no thought of what is next until I got to what is next, does indeed and quite miraculously not create a feeling of being busy at all. As I was pondering this whole busy aspect of life, another crossed my path who shared that we create busy to avoid being in now. Synchronicity? Well of course.

When we live in each moment of now, fully, we are just being and we are all essentially, beings, not doings. Many think we have to go and have a vacation and do absolutely nothing to avoid the stress of being busy, to wind down and “get away from it all”.

Personally I find life far more interesting, way less stress full and not at all busy, to just do the things I feel I want and need to do, when I want and need to do them. I also find that things don’t go “wrong”, I don’t hit brick walls nor do I experience any of the elements that once brought frustration, stress, major muck-ups, accidents or rushing around like a lunatic when I am just focussed on and fully present in NOW. Another miraculous aspect of living in NOW – I have more “time”.

Try it, you may just be very surprised by what happens when you stop thinking “a head” and actually become one with the flow of life.

Cheers, C.

ADDICTION FROM A SHAMANIC VIEWPOINT

It is becoming clearer to many that addiction is a disease or illness, not a choice we consciously make that we should be punished for. God knows we punish ourselves and suffer enough in this life without “society” and law makers punishing us further simply because we are not well. A very long time ago I read that all disease could be seen as dis-ease i.e. not being at ease or at peace with ourselves. So is addiction to anything actually really just dis-ease? The roots of which lay in learned behaviour?

Addiction is, from my perception, certainly a symptom of a far deeper cause than that which lays on the behavioural, psychological and physiological surface. Western medicine primarily always looks at symptoms and what can be seen, attempts to treat that solely usually with chemicals or surgery and rarely does it look for causes that to the naked or microscopic eye are unseen. Yet when we find and heal cause within ourselves of physical symptoms, dis-ease, or behaviour we do not find acceptable, would like to not be experiencing or are subconsciously participating in, the symptoms just simply no longer exist. From birth we are taught to seek outside ourselves for what we need to make us feel good – love, encouragement, nurturing, guidance, cuddles, belief in ourselves etc.

As the child of an alcoholic step-father and cigarette smoking mother their addictions became learned behaviour for me so it stood to reason that as they were the two main ways in which I was shown adults behaved and coped with whatever they were trying to cope with, that I would naturally follow in their footsteps. As a teenager from about 14 onwards after a rape situation occurred I began to consume cigarettes. Not long after when I left home due to the situation I was living in there, I began to consume alcohol and drugs to the point I damn near killed myself. Surviving on little food, drugs, cigarettes, coffee and alcohol was not at all healthy, nor was it a good mix, reducing my weight so dramatically after six months, the only clothes I could wear were size 16 children’s clothing and I was so unwell that not even my own mother recognised me.

I didn’t feel that anyone cared about me, so why should I care? What did it really matter whether I lived or not? All I wanted to do was have a good time and feel better. I did not want, at all, to feel the pain and sadness of not feeling loved, cared for, cared about or understood, of being hit, yelled at, controlled, nor the fear of the alcoholic induced, often physical, arguments and abuse I had been living with since about 6 years of age on a regular and totally unpredictable basis.

To say I, like so many people in this world, grew up in a dysfunctional environment is putting it mildly. My consumption of alcohol, drugs and cigarettes lessened for a short while after another whose love for me quite literally saved my life by showing me they were the only person in my life who did care which gave me the gift of hope and I once again started ingesting regular meals. I then slid back into copious ingesting of drugs, alcohol and cigarettes whenever I got the opportunity to do so after I was involved in a fatal car accident at 17 in which the young man I had been living with for six months was killed. Back in those days there was no counselling available like there is now.

There was also no funeral and no grave for this young man who lost his life to a drunk driver at only 23 years of age. I was seriously injured and it took a good six months for me to learn how to walk again. The only words I heard at the time from my step-father were “Write down how much pain you are in each day so we can get more money.” The only people in my family who even said they were sorry I had been injured and this young man had died was my mother and one of my step-brothers. For everyone else in my immediate circle it seemed to me to be a case of suck it up buttercup and just get on with your life.

Drugs, cigarettes and alcohol became my friends, they numbed me from feeling all that was going on inside me. They distracted me and they became my “pain killers”, my “feel good medicine” of choice because I simply had no knowledge of other coping skills I could utilise. The catch being, as all addicts know, is that once we start down this path our brains and our bodies tell us we need more and more “feel good medicine” and “pain killers” to maintain that feel good state of being, to actually cope and survive, to not feel all that pain, anger, grief and sadness living within us that is so very real and raw and it is a very slippery slope we travel until eventually we either kill our bodies or our lives fall apart so badly we hit rock bottom.

We have two choices if we actually do survive and hit rock bottom, continue as we have done and physically die, or trawl the depths and start to bounce back from what feels like the bottomless black hole we have been sucked into that also very much feels like a literal hell or nightmare there often seems to be no escaping from. Thankfully I was one who chose to trawl the depths and bounce back when in 1992 at 28 I was again faced with my own impending physical death.

What I came to understand as I started to walk the path of the Shaman which was a path that at the time I had no clue I was even walking, was that I, like so many other folk in this world, was actually experiencing what in Shamanic terms is known as Soul loss.

Soul loss can best be described as us becoming like the walking dead, merely surviving, not living and thriving as was intended, simply because who we truly are is not fully present in our bodies. Parts of us that have not wanted to feel grief, trauma, fear, shock, loss or pain have fragmented off into the subconscious abyss and in very simple terms it is like we are not fully at home in our bodies when we are ingesting substances or distracting ourselves with addictive behaviours or by external means in order to make us feel better or not feel our pain. It is literally like we have huge energetic holes in us, great gaping wounds that we defend, need others to fill, or don’t want to feel the pain of because they are so raw and we are so very vulnerable.

These energetic holes we have, we attempt to fill with external substances or means which consequentially then just make our bodies and our minds very sick indeed. We behave in ways not previously known to us once we start on the road of addiction and it is also not behaviour that those close to us know from us as being “normal”. How many times does the drunken or high person just not seem to be themselves? It is like we become totally different people, often aggressive, angry, totally uncaring and hurtful towards others simply because we are hurting and we just don’t give a damn. We become harmful to ourselves and others and we often have absolutely no memory the next day of our behaviour.

Our behaviour however is NOT us, it is a symptom or cover up if you like hiding whatever we have experienced or been conditioned to believe. How many times does the drunken or drugged person lash out in Jekyll and Hyde fashion? You never really know what to expect but you just know that who you know that person to be is no longer present in the body in front of you. This is because we are definitely NOT ourselves at all. Who we truly are is no longer contained in our bodies. What primarily happens with ingesting alcohol and drugs is that when who we truly are checks out of our bodies it’s like an empty house and other “darker” energies with perhaps not so good intentions take over. This may seem like a very strange and far-fetched concept to many but perhaps for those who have lived it, seen it in others, you will know precisely what I am referring to.

So… how do we heal these gaps and holes we try to fill by external means? How do we stop this happening? How do we change our behaviour? How do we become fully present in our bodies and become whole, well and healthy again? There is only one way I personally found and that was firstly to make a decision I didn’t want to be that way any longer given that I was so out of control at times, often very re-active, aggressive, defensive, angry, miserable, depressed and more times than not, suicidal.

I did not do the whole re-hab thing, nor did I do AA or have any other types of support in place similar to those, I just said enough when I was faced with my own impending physical death, for the fear of death at 28, which I no longer carry, put the wind up me, literally, and I prayed like I had never prayed in my life prior to be free of it all and to feel nothing but peace, love and acceptance within me.

What ensued was 10 solid years of feeling ever so much grief, trauma, pain, confusion and sadness as I firstly turned to alternative therapies to help heal my body because all the doctors I saw over a six month period all said there was nothing wrong with me – here have some Prozac, meanwhile my body was shutting down more and more each day. I uncovered and discovered all my physical symptoms were due to constant abuse and unfelt emotions, which I also discovered did not just come from this lifetime but past lifetime experiences as well, all of which had resulted in symptoms associated with having a blocked small intestine and kidneys that were barely working.

I trusted all I was drawn to and underwent attunement to Reiki/Seichim, learnt how to work with my dreams, attended many courses, began walking, meditations and yoga, ate better, studied for two Diplomas in Counselling, one Holistic, one standard that also included some alternative modalities. I read all I could get my hands on, discovering along the way many fragmented parts of me, along with many gifts and skills I never even knew existed within me. Gradually my addictions abated but always there is work to be done.

Physical pains were always linked in with emotional pain, the true cause and source of which came to me either via dreaming or during meditations (which is really the same state of consciousness) and it truly was only in the fully feeling of ALL the emotions that bubbled up from within me and by integrating/re-membering i.e. bringing into being, the fragmented parts of me I re-connected with in The Dreaming, that eventually there was peace. I came to see that time did not exist as we know it to exist, that past definitely has an impact on the present until we heal it by fully feeling it and releasing it (shutting the door on it and just saying past is past, forget it and get on with your life, simply does not work) and that the emotions which came with memories or in the dreaming, meditations etc., were just energy passing through.

Rather than numbing those emotions, once felt and released, with each and every process of integration and release, a strength, love, acceptance, understanding and peace began filling me up like nothing I had ever experienced before. There is an old saying you may have heard of – The cup must be emptied before it can be filled. This was certainly the case for me and I began to live by the motto which Jamie Sams brought into the world “To feel is to heal.”

Emotional pain is the LAST thing any of us want to feel – we do everything we can to avoid it yet it is only in feeling it, that we truly do heal it and are free of it. Was it easy work? Definitely not. Was it lonely work? It certainly was. Was it worth it? Without a doubt. For I learnt the hard way that no matter what I chose to ingest that was external to me, no matter how much I sought love and acceptance externally from others, no matter what I did to feel “better”, and no matter how “strong” I had been to just carry on Columbus and survive it all, the real strength came when I turned fully inward to find, eventually, all I needed was already inside me for me the love, peace, wisdom, knowing and acceptance I was seeking only came when I paid attention to what my dreams and daily life were showing me and what my memories and emotions were telling me about myself and about life. As I uncovered who I truly was I also discovered there would never be a need again for me to re-cover my Self.

To free ourselves from addiction is a huge undertaking as there is so much in this world we can become attached and addicted to. It is however achievable if we have the courage, faith and trust needed to turn inward, face our fears, grief, pain and trauma, feel it all fully and be free of it once and for all. Many of us are so busy telling our stories, which whilst important, does not enable us to actually feel the emotion contained in those stories for our stories come from our heads.

No-one can do this work for us, it is something we all must do for ourselves for it is only in doing for Self that we become more Self-aware, more Self responsible, heal and become more Self empowered. It is not at all selfish to do this work for it brings about self-centeredness, balance, peace, love, acceptance, respect for all life and an awareness of our wholeness with all life, like nothing else we have ever experienced can, all of which is then reflected back to us in the world.

The choice whether we do this work or not is entirely ours to make. We can keep going as we have been or we can quite literally turn our whole world and reality around by coming from the inside out and in doing so move out of the nightmare of externalism, blame, victim mentality, attack, defence and addiction.

Much love and peace to all.

Cheers, Cheryl.

Grab your free copy of my Dreamwork Booklet at http://bit.ly/CheocoNews when you sign up for my monthly Newsletter.

*´☾☆☽`*•

#Cheryl O’Connor.
#Holistic #Counsellor, Author & Writer.

* Cognitive & Body Based Counselling.
* Creative & Artistic Therapies.
* Specialising in #Dream #Analysis/#Conscious #Dreaming & #Shamanic Journeying.
* #Reiki/#Seichim Treatments & Attunements.
* Isis #Meditation.

Website @ http://www.cheocoenterprises.com

My book The Promise, Skype & Email Consultations Available – bit.ly/Cheocoshop

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Image credit: Pixabay.

Is “Constructive Criticism” really Constructive ?

One of the most common human behaviours I am privy to not only where others are concerned but within myself over the years and still even now it slips in at times despite my best conscious efforts not to go there, is that of being critical.

It’s SO easy to be critical because that is our conditioning. It astounds me that we actually have an economic industry of “critics” who get paid to go and see, listen to, or experience others creative endeavours and “critique” them which they then feel it necessary to publish. If the creative persons interpretation of something they have gone to experience isn’t in line with the critics perception – too bad so sad they receive a “bad” review that ripples out to others and has a domino effect which can limit severely the amount of folk who go and see or experience it for themselves and decide whether they enjoy it or not, based purely on what someone else says. It is also often the case that many who are standing in the wings and not even involving themselves in something or aren’t even aware of what is REALLY going on, on the stage, take it upon themselves to be critical of what the ones on the stage are doing, in all areas of life. Yet we all perceive and do things differently.

Just watch any group of people for e.g. in an art class – all can be looking at the same tree which they are to paint and yet every single painting each creates will be totally different not only to the tree given as an example, but to each others trees. How truly miraculous is that?! Yet so often in so many situations another will say no that’s not how you do it, you “NEED” to do it this way. How so and who says so?

Everything we do is an act of unique creation so how can it be that we have fallen into this trap of being so critical and judgmental? We seem to live in a society that is full of competition and judgement which starts not long after birth. It’s rampant in our schools, in politics, in sports, in workplaces, it’s persistent in those “Women’s” magazines where celebrities are criticised for just about everything from wearing a pair of track pants out to the local shop to having their hair done a certain way. In more recent times on television screens and other media it is also rampant by way of “reality” shows where folk compete against each other to reach a temporary status of “winner” and being labelled “the best”. The label being given to them by “judges” who are really only just sharing their perception of another’s “performance” in a given moment. Yet that perception in that moment of being “judged” can absolutely crush another’s dream and devastate the person who isn’t given the label of “the winner.”

It’s so often the case that if folk don’t do things the way we think they should be done or how we ourselves would do them rarely do we stop to ask questions. Instead, out of our heads and mouths, usually automatically, will come all sorts of “stuff” that is judgmental and critical which perhaps whilst not consciously meaning to do harm, does – just like the critic who published their opinion.

This has been disguised to make it more palatable in recent times by being labelled “constructive criticism”. I personally don’t understand how any criticism is “constructive” – giving and receiving honest and respectful feedback however is a totally different ball game. Words float around all the time about not judging others, about “loving” and accepting yourself and others as they are and hey if those others are rattling your cage with a big stick no worries just shrug it off and walk away – not always that easy though is it?

Phrases have long been within the minds of humanity along the lines of – Don’t judge another lest you be judged; Don’t be so busy pulling the splinter out of someone else’s eye that you can’t see the lump of wood in your own; People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones; Let he who is without sin cast the first stone; He who points a finger at another will find three pointing back at him, and on it goes.

When people bring forth their best endeavours, ideas and passions to create a more peaceful, love filled, tolerant and respectful world for all, they have often landed up being persecuted, imprisoned, harshly criticised or dead for their efforts for what they are doing or saying. Why? Have we all really become so arrogant as to think that there is only one way to see or do something, our way? Further down the track when it is often way too late, others begin to see what the person was doing and saying with more clarity and then those who were working solidly to create change are treated as heroes, legends or saints.

Sadly they are often no longer even alive by the time the rest of society catches up. It’s often the case that a person or people with “vision” will see much that others clearly do not yet see and due to their passion to manifest that “vision” they run with it whole heartedly, only to be continually met by others trying to pick to pieces what they are doing. What exactly does that achieve I wonder, besides perhaps maybe making the picker feel good about themselves in some bizarre way, like they are “better” than the one who has gotten off their butt, stopped whinging about a situation, and is actually doing something to change that situation for the better, not just for themselves but more importantly for others.

On the flipside to this we have all this information and push occurring about not bullying, teamwork, collaboration etc., and yet many of the so-called political “leaders” in this world are still coming out of the mental and emotional framework of Ego, criticism, one upmanship, bullying tactics, abuse and judgement even though we are given examples time and time again of what actually happens when we ALL work together to achieve something. Is that I wonder part of the reason why “natural disasters” occur, so that we can more consciously become aware of the part of our nature that is supportive, kind, empathetic, loving and compassionate? Collaboration NOT competition will get us ALL wherever we are wanting to go way faster than if we spend our time and energy constantly being judgemental and critical of what others in this world are doing and bickering amongst ourselves about whatever.

Someone close to me has a beautiful expression they often use which I love – The world would be a better place if everyone minded their own business. This person does not mean that we should not care about each other or support each other, they mean that each and every person (unless they are incapacitated in some way) is fully capable of doing whatever it is they need to do for themselves and that we would all live in a better world if we were ALL working together and supporting each other, not wasting our precious time and lives in these temporary physical bodies, trying to tear others down whilst our Egos climb whatever ladder to success they decide to climb, ripping people off or ripping them to shreds, gossiping, judging, undermining and criticising them, telling them they are “wrong” or giving them “advice” when it hasn’t even been asked for.

This person is also referring to those situations where we are doing something and another comes along and takes over because in the other’s eyes we are not doing “it” right. They are of the opinion that this unintentionally diminishes the person who was doing it their own way and shows disrespect. Quite simply humanity has created the present mess in this world, no-one else, and no-one is coming to “save” us, or the planet. The Politicians don’t give a hoot for they cannot see what many of us can clearly see and we are ALL simply just going to have to pull our big girl and boy knickers up clear out our own muck and heal our wounds, so we stop projecting it all onto others if we want anything at all to change.

The time of separation – of you, me, us, them, right, wrong, greed, slavery to jobs that just create nothing but stress and sickness to all life on this planet is coming to an end. Honestly can you actually even begin to imagine how much more we would ALL achieve in this world if the amount of time, money and energy we spent on sticking our noses into other folks business, being critical and judgemental, bickering or gossiping about this, that and the other was actually spent on creating the type of world we not only want to live in but pass on to our children and grandchildren?

It has always been said that our children are our future and whilst I was a child I really didn’t have a say in the future I would be living in. I was often told by my Grandfather though you can achieve anything you want to in this world and so far all I have set out to achieve I have accomplished but there is still more, so much more I want to achieve. Now that I am living in the future I was told about as a child, as a mature aged woman, it is not at all the future I envisioned it could be but I can have a say now and I am so very passionate and driven about doing everything in my power, by collaborating, not competing with others, via The Wellness Universe, other initiatives and with folk who are near and dear to me, to assist in creating the future I did envision as a child that I want to pass on to my children and grandchildren. A world where there is full collaboration, peace, love, understanding, respect for all life, compassion, gratitude, joy, beauty and creative vision and as John Lennon once said, “You may say I’m a Dreamer but I’m not the only one. I hope someday you’ll join us and the world will BE as one”.

I may never get to see a world like the one I envision but that doesn’t mean for a second I can’t and won’t do whatever I can to help create it. We are ALL in this world together regardless of our social status, gender, sexual preferences, financial situation, religion or religious beliefs, varying skin colours, ages etc., It doesn’t matter diddly squat what job we do that we label with a name or how well known or not known we are in the world, and for the sake of all the children, grandchildren and generations yet to come into this world, I truly do hope and yes I even pray (even though I am not for once second “religious”) that we ALL start spending way more time collaborating and supporting each other to create a better world than the one we have been left with by those who came before us, than we have been and often do spend criticising and judging each other.
Cheers, C.

Grab your free copy of my Dreamwork Booklet at http://bit.ly/CheocoNews when you sign up for my monthly Newsletter.

*´☾☆☽`*•

#Cheryl O’Connor.
#Holistic #Counsellor, Author & Writer.

Website @ http://www.cheocoenterprises.com

My book The Promise, Skype & Email Consultations Available – bit.ly/Cheocoshop

Proud member of The Wellness Universe: www.thewellnessuniverse.com #WUVIP

Image credit: Pixabay.

THANK YOU!

Morning all,

Those of you who know me know how very passionate I am about Dreamwork. What began as what felt like a curse in 1992, where often times I dreaded shutting my eyes not knowing what would happen to me next has landed up being the biggest blessing in my life. I cannot even begin to count the number of gifts, insights, healing, understanding, wisdom and the totally life altering experiences that have occurred for me since my fascination with dreams began and I started paying attention to what they were telling me about myself and about life.

Today marks another milestone on my journey to bring more dreaming awareness and the enormous benefits of working with dreams, synchronicity and imagination into our world with the passing of 4,000 likes on the Cheoco Enterprises Face Book page overnight. To see so many folk interested in what I share is wonderful after over two decades of devotion to Self Healing, Self Awareness and Self Empowerment filled with love, passion, time, money, learning, dedication, enthusiasm and energy having being consistently poured into various websites, copious articles, close to 2,000 posters, workshops, talks and private sessions either in person, via Skype or email, participation over the years in various online groups and forums, courses, reading, private study and so it has gone on and continues to occur.

I cannot convey to anyone the feeling I had when I saw this milestone occur this morning – words just don’t do it justice. All those years ago I had a vision of how my life could be so to see it starting to manifest as I saw it would is definitely not something that I can describe. That vision was what kept me going through so much darkness, pain and fear that I had to face within myself. To this day I am still in awe of the faith, trust and courage I needed which was available to me to draw on from inside myself.

I am also in total awe of the wonderful folk who have crossed and still do cross my path – all of whom have been teachers. They say a student is only as good as their teacher and I have no idea what I did to draw so many amazing teachers into my life but to them and to all who have been supporting me and my work right across all social media platforms, all of which are growing steadily – thank you and Namaste.

Much love and peace to all.
C.

#WUVIP

MIRROR MIRROR ON THE WALL

One of the most powerful words any of us can ever learn to use when we are communicating with others, besides no, is I.

For some folk that may seem an odd thing to say as it could be read that I am referring to being selfish – far from it. There is a massive difference between being selfish and being self-centred and self-empowered.

What I have noticed consistently in my life, as I have observed interactions occurring between myself and others and between others, is that whenever “you” statements occur in a conversation as in “you have”, “you do”, “you do not”, “you are”, “you need to”, “you should” or “you must” etc., we are not coming from a space of Self-centred response, empowerment, love, peace or balance.

Ten times out of ten we are actually in the midst of a totally non thought about re-action (re-acting out an old subconscious behavioural pattern) as we busily, rudely, loudly and usually quite angrily fly off the handle and into another, not at all aware that we are projecting our own shadow and that which we do not see, or perhaps don’t want to see, hear or take responsibility for, within ourselves or about ourselves, onto another.

Whenever I hear “you” this or that, either from another or coming out of my own mouth or head in an attacking way my warning system rings a very loud alarm that screams like the robot from Lost in Space – Warning, Warning, Warning, Danger Will Robinson, Danger and the word “projection” blasts into my awareness. (Yes I know I am showing my age.)

One of the greatest challenges I personally face every single day are my own reality checks I feel compelled to make in relation to what I put out for others to read or not read, their choice, in terms of posters or articles. If I personally am not living the truth of what I am putting out in my interactions behind the scenes – I want to know about it because often the folk closest to me in my life see me clearer than I can see myself.

I therefore have several folk who help me keep a check on that because I have specifically asked them to point that kind of thing out to me as it is so very easy to create words that others can resonate with, relate to, be motivated or inspired by but if my interactions with others behind the scenes of those posters or articles are not congruent with the words I am putting out, they hold no value to me, or you, the reader, whatsoever.

They would just be hollow meaningless hypocritical jibber jabber at the core. They would have no depth, truth or substance and would not be coming from a space of integrity, they would just be nothing but noise created to add to an already often very noisy world wide web full of information, opinions, stories, perceptions, re-actions and responses.

When we become self-aware enough to stop using “you” and come instead from a space of Self-centred peace, a desire to understand, response and love, in a balanced way and therefore state instead “I think”, “I feel”, “it appears to me”, “I am”, “from my perception”, “for me” etc., we ARE taking full responsibility for whatever is going on for us, within us, emotionally or cognitively. We are NOT projecting our own “stuff” onto anyone else, nor are we are blaming others for our own experience. We are also not coming from a space of attack or defence, but a state of Self-aware empowered response.

Often when folk attack, for whatever reasons they are justifying in their own heads with whatever story they have created for themselves and fully believe, it is not only hurtful, it can sometimes be downright spiteful or misleading and it can often get very ugly very quickly, for the one attacked, quite rightly, feels a need to defend, explain, justify, attack back etc., and the result then often is a situation where more misunderstanding occurs due to intensifying energy building up and going back and forth in defence/attack/attack/defence style a bit like a tennis volley that just gets louder, more re-active and quicker as it gains momentum.

If we automatically re-act and attack or re-act to an attack and put ourselves in a situation upon being attacked where we do defend, justify and attack back we are just feeding a fire – yet when we remain silent that fire has no oxygen as such to keep it burning. It usually just dies down, for it runs out of the fuel (energy) needed to feed it and keep it burning and in the dying down you or I, or the person who was coming from the space of “you”, can, if they choose to, take a look at themselves in the mirror they were projecting themselves onto that is now non-responsive and just reflecting themselves back to themselves fully for them to clearly see and hear themselves. This then becomes a huge gift for the attacking or blaming person to take a long hard look at their own projections, insecurities, justifications, stories, fears and emotional re-actions should they choose to do so.

A very useful thing I work on keeping in mind, which I have been working on for years and no it doesn’t always happen in all situations, is to NOT respond automatically to anything at all when I am feeling a strong emotional re-action to what has been projected with a “you” attack or via an emotional re-action I myself may have that I am projecting. I’ve found it is far more revealing when I stop and ask myself – What is this REALLY about? Why am I feeling this way? With every answer that comes to me I question it further and further until I find the gift in it for me to learn from. I have also often found that those answers will come by way of a sleeping dream.

I always find there is a nugget of truth and a gift I am able to see in the mirror hanging on the wall in front of me who, from my perception, has been attacking me or who I have subconsciously been projecting my own stuff onto. Sometimes that nugget of truth has been an article such as this one, a poster I have created or that I have realised I needed to create better boundaries, respect my Self more, see clearer the wounds another is carrying, or the truth about another their projections are revealing. Sometimes I need to take a closer look at my own wounds, distance myself from folk until they do look at their stuff and come back later or work through my own stuff alone, see how my words or actions have impacted on another or if need be walk totally away from another for this life time so they can deal with their own stuff that I no longer have the time, patience or energy to deal with if I am constantly met with rudeness and barriers when trying to sort an issue out.

This non-reactive business and learning to come from a space of response rather than automatic re-action has taken me a LOT of years’ work to get more of a handle on as up until not so long ago the not so peaceful warrior in me would come to the fore if warranted with a sword and shred an attacker to pieces verbally in one form or another. That part of me has been known to be quite lethal and often folk have not known what’s hit them when I do allow that part of me to emerge and take flight when I feel I have been pushed too far or another has pushed someone else too far who I care about.

Perhaps as I am getting older I am actually getting wiser and whilst I have known for a long time how very much I enjoy peace and quiet without all the drama of youth and re-active projections coming from myself or at me from people of all ages, I am seeing another dimension to that old phrase – Silence is golden. In so many situations I am seeing silence holds way more power, peace, learning and gifts than bringing out my warrior’s sword via an emotionally re-active tongue or mind, expressed in person or via a keyboard.

My grandmother, bless her, in her attempts to get me to see this truth over the years I was growing up whilst she was still alive, when I would be ranting and raving about something or the other would often say to me – You’ll catch more flies with honey than you will with vinegar Cheryl. Funny thing about that was she wasn’t always known for her diplomacy and tact and vinegar was often her unconsciously chosen medicine to dish out to others if she felt it was warranted.

I think though, whilst I have and never will qualify for the role of a diplomat, for a spade is a spade to me, not a bloodied pitch fork wrapped up in a bow, and I have an inbuilt tendency to just say it how I see it, I finally understand exactly what she was saying.

For me at the moment vinegar has its place in my pantry and may still at times be necessary to use but I am finding more and more that honey experienced in Self-Centred, Self Aware and Self Empowered silence and peace is far sweeter, more fruitful and makes life way more enjoyable, palatable and digestible.
Cheers, Cheryl.

Grab your free copy of my Dreamwork Booklet at http://bit.ly/CheocoNews when you sign up for my monthly Newsletter.

*´☾☆☽`*•

#Cheryl O’Connor.
#Holistic #Counsellor, Author & Writer.

Website @ http://www.cheocoenterprises.com

My book The Promise, Skype & Email Consultations Available – bit.ly/Cheocoshop

Proud member of The Wellness Universe: www.thewellnessuniverse.com #WUVIP

Image credit: Pixabay.

DEATH IS ONLY A BREATH AWAY

From the moment we come into this world Death is the one constant companion we have who walks with us, along with our intuition, faith, trust and courage.

Yet we fear and fight death, why?

Is it because we think it is “the end” of us?

Is it because generally speaking our western culture hides the dying and death away from us?

Is it because our western medical system is geared to save life regardless of the pain and suffering another may be enduring which is often just lengthened by way of experiments, surgeries and the like? Granted there are some treatments and surgeries that do save lives but there are also many situations where a person is just treated like a medical experiment and kept alive only long enough to be of scientific value and research use. (I am speaking from first-hand experience with that particular issue having watched what occurred and was inflicted on my Dad for what seemed like two very long weeks, whilst he was dying.)

Is it because we have become so attached to the physical world we don’t want to leave?

Is it because we have become so dependent on another we don’t believe we can live without them?

Or is it simply due to fear of the unknown?

Whatever the reasons are that we fear death, battle it and do not just accept that it is an intrinsic part of being born, I don’t see any of it is as being really very healthy.

Many of us during the course of our life have folk come into our lives for however long they need to be in our lives and then they leave either by way of us and them just getting on with life, irreconcilable disagreement, mutual agreement or death. Sometimes we grieve the loss, however it may occur, other times we are glad to see the back of them. We even grieve the loss of well-known folk who we personally do not know. The standard norm however is considered to be that we are born, live to a ripe old age and when our bodies are worn out and we are old we “die”. This however is not factual.

Death occurs at any stage of life, some folk die earlier than others and we have this in built conditioning which seems to me to think that unless we are of a ripe old age that anyone who dies under a certain age is “too young to die” or that it is a tragedy when folk die. We speak of poor lost souls who perish in natural “disasters” and accidents that occur. How do we know they are lost?

Some of us never get over the death of another who has been an integral part of our life or are totally lost ourselves when another leaves our physical reality by way of death. Often when well-known celebrities who have lived full and vibrant lives are dying many start praying for them, leaving messages on social media for them to keep fighting. Our media speaks of folk losing battles long or short against cancer and other dis-eases. Humans never have, nor will ever be in control of death or birth as much as we may try. When our time is up, it’s up. It really is that simple.

Many say it is morbid to think about death and it seems to me in our western culture we are not at all very well prepared to face our own death or that of loved ones when the time comes. Yet we are all dying, we are all born to die and realistically we have no clue when the moment of physical death will occur. It is quite literally only a breath or a heartbeat away. When you live with the total conscious awareness that death could occur for you at any moment or those you love, you live an entirely different life to someone who perceives that when they or their loved ones get old only then will they die.

Many who are told by doctors they only have x amount of time to live actually begin to live for perhaps the first time in their lives. They think what the heck, I may as well do whatever it is they have held off doing, because now I know I am going to die, yet we all know all along we are going to die at some point in our lives. It’s not the best analogy but it’s kind of like Christmas, we all know it’s coming, yet we race around like lunatics just prior to it occurring to get ourselves organised for it.

I feel very blessed as I see death differently to most I know, simply because I am no stranger to it. My first encounter occurred when I was 12 and it was at that time I just knew people’s grief (including my own) was more about what folk had lost, not done, felt guilty about, regretted etc., than it was about what the person who had passed on had gained, particularly if they were suffering from physical illness, dis-ease and pain. As a child, one of my favourite places to play was the cemetery just up the road from where I lived. It was peace full there and I often kept company with the snakes who curled up on the cement, seeking warmth, which covered the tops of the graves.

Even to this day it is not uncommon for me to be drawn to cemeteries and to just wander around, reading the gravestones that stand as monuments to another’s life – long, short or somewhere in between. It is still one of the most peace full places for me to go to as often there are not many folk around and it is a place that always puts my life and all things into their true perspective for me whilst always reminding me just how short and precious life in a physical body truly is.

My next up close and personal encounter with death came whilst only feeding my body small amounts of food and large amounts of drugs, alcohol and cigarettes when I was about 15. It was only the mutual love between myself and another which saved me on that occasion and kept me here.

Death paid me another visit at 17 when whilst knocked totally unconscious as the result of what I later found out was a fatal car accident, I was experiencing what we call a dream. I was in what I now know to be a parallel reality where the sun was shining and I was having a picnic with the person who I later discovered had passed away. It was beautiful, joyous, loving and peaceful and I was resting with my back against a tree, until our dog ran into the bush and I started calling out to him. My calling out became so loud it brought me back into this physical reality and as I opened my eyes I saw the horror of that car accident and the injuries I had received during it. I was also sitting against a tree, the exact same bushland around me as I had seen in the “dreaming” experience and what had been glorious weather in the “dream” was in this reality torrential rain. Our dog was also nowhere to be seen.

As I processed that event much later I just knew deep within me that “if” I had of been killed as well, I wouldn’t have felt a thing. There would have been no pain whatsoever for my consciousness had clearly left my body just prior to impact – my last memory before the “dreaming experience” having been seeing windscreen wipers moving across the glass in front of me. The pain of my many injuries only came when I became conscious of this physical reality again.

At 28 Death came calling once more as my body was shutting down from life threatening illness and during the next 10 years much “died” within me as I began to consciously walk the path of the Shaman. Death was also very present in my awareness when I was pregnant with my son at 36 and whilst I was birthing him, then later when he was roughly two and experienced Whooping Cough. Often throughout my life so-called dead folk would visit me in what we call “dreams” and “visions” and also by way of “weird” stuff that occurred in this physical reality. They still do.

I also became aware of many deaths that had occurred for me during what we call past lives. I re-lived being guillotined, hung, burnt, stabbed, eaten by a crocodile, murdered many times and in every possible way death can occur, drowned, being tortured, thrown down a well and my neck was broken and on it went. In one experience instead of trying to run from death in fear I just stood in the experience fully and said to myself, this is it – I am going to die. With that total acceptance and absolutely no fear any longer in relation to death my consciousness was back in my physical body and I truly “got it” that the essence of me just never ever dies. I have to say that was, at the time, THE most empowering experience I’d had.

When my Grandfather passed on, for the first time in my life I saw a “dead” body. All that was left was a container, like an empty cocoon. Who I knew my Grandfather to be was no longer present. The body was stiff, solid and cold due to freezer type refrigeration. This body I looked at and touched was just not him at all. It did not even really look like him.

Many say it is morbid to think or talk about death, many will not even discuss it preferring to state “if something happens to me” rather than stating “if I die or when I die” and it seems to me in our western culture we are not at all well prepared to face our own death or that of our loved ones when the time comes.

I visited the Land of the Dead recently and it was a very beautiful experience where I interacted with many friends and family who have passed on. As with all families and during our life many folk have left my life and I was astounded to find them all waiting for me when I did this journey. It is also a journey that can be done by anyone, which I facilitate.

Death again visited me up close and personal yesterday, which is what has prompted this article and during that visit it became clear to me that there is only one aspect of my life story right here and right now as it stands that I don’t feel a sense of 100% peace about – a mission I set out to achieve for myself some 23 years ago. I feel extremely grateful that there is only one aspect and not as many as there were back then. As I conversed with Death in this experience it also became clear to me that hopefully with a little help from the Spirits this one aspect can be put right before I do leave this body because I really don’t want to be carrying that one with me.

My experiences have shown me time and again that whatever we do not have full peace, acceptance and love about within us when we leave, we just take with us and yep it would appear to me that it is a case of well too bad, so sad you just have to come back again to deal with it. We also take the love we feel for others with us, it doesn’t just “die” when a body dies, just as it doesn’t die within us for those we have loved who have passed on. It is often the case those who have passed on have messages and guidance for us which they try to give us but even though we miss them we find it creepy, weird, spooky and we fear actually communicating with them ourselves, often preferring instead to have a third person tell us what another is trying to communicate to us. We didn’t fear them, usually, whilst they lived in a body so why do we fear them just because they no longer exist in a body?

For myself there is no separation between the physical and non-physical realities which exist. Where I will go when I leave this body my mother named Cheryl I have no clue for I do not believe there is a Heaven as such, nor a Hell, except for within ourselves. It has been my experience that with our free will we either create Heaven or Hell in this physical reality and as John Lennon once said “Imagine there’s no Heaven, it’s easy if you try. No Hell below us, above us only sky”. I therefore have no expectations of what will occur when I leave this body and so I am totally open to the adventure of it all. What I do have though is abundant faith and trust plus good navigational skills in The Dreaming and I know that a part of me knows way better than my logic does, my logic being so very limited in this physical reality. I also know that the part of me that does know will kick in and do whatever it needs to do when the time comes.

So that all said how do we all better prepare ourselves for the inevitability of facing and accepting Death’s constant presence as it walks inside and beside us in the shadows, instead of fearing Death and not truly living?

In dreaming, every single night, whether we have memory of it the next morning or not, we leave our bodies and go travelling, connecting and interacting with the Souls of folk we know and yep even those we don’t know and by some miracle we awake each morning in the body we left resting in our bed or wherever we slept. Given some of the dreaming experiences I have, to me that in itself is miraculous that I find my way back into my body each morning. When we wake we are blessed with another day of life in a physical body. It is a gift, not a given. It is also a gift so very many of us take for granted and don’t even give thanks for.

We even do this when we nana nap, power nap, meditate etc., for we have absolutely no awareness of our physical bodies when in that fully altered state of consciousness. Many also have no awareness even of that altered state of consciousness. Yet it is so very healing and powerful and it is a space, if you like to think of it that way, which is full of insight, abundance, truth, guidance and wisdom. During the night our body has miraculously kept our heart beating and our lungs breathing. So at some part of us we know it is perfectly fine and safe to leave our bodies and that we will be okay. True we may not be conscious of that, but I sense that deep down we just know it. Often too if we are feeling threatened in any way, either in the dreaming realities or in this physical reality, we will slam back into the body ready to take action. The dreaming body/soul/astral body are intrinsically linked it would seem to the physical body and its reactions for how often do we wake from a scary dream heart pounding or an emotional dream with tears in our eyes?

It is said that there is no better preparation for death than being a conscious dreamer and well….. I have to agree. For most of us travellers who are conscious dreamers, we are aware of the multiverse and parallel realities, we learn the territory away from the confines of the physical body quite well, the more we practice it like anything the better we get at it and we also learn how to navigate our way around in that territory. We “know” without a shadow of doubt that we exist beyond the physical body.

To become a conscious dreamer and be better prepared for our own deaths, we need to firstly pay attention to whatever snippets of memory, be it images or feelings we have upon waking in our bodies of a morning. The more we welcome, honour and act on our dreaming experiences, the more we receive them, the more we receive them, the more conscious we become of them, the more conscious we become of them, the less fear we experience not only in our physical reality but also in the dreaming realities of the multiverse, parallel realities, spirit worlds etc.

The biggest fear I sense most have is the fear of death and yet the irony of that is when we no longer fear death, we actually truly begin to live. For some of us perhaps for the first time ever. My mum, bless her has always said to me “You live like there is no tomorrow” and for me no there is no tomorrow ever for I have had way too many encounters with Death to not know I and those I love could be physically gone in an instant, so for me there is only ever each moment of now.

There is a Native American expression I very much love – “It’s a good day to die” (meaning that there are no regrets, there is nothing left unsaid or undone and that there is peace within). We use the term RIP when another passes on but how much better would it be do you think if we all lived in peace instead of waiting until we die to rest in peace ? I know for myself I have done and do all I can every single day to make every day a good day to die – how about you?

Cheers, Cheryl.

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FEAR BASED CONDITIONING

We all come with abundant courage, trust and love into this world. We trust all our needs will be taken care of and as a very young child privileged to grow up in what folk call “the modern/civilised world” we do not worry where the next meal will come from. Clothes are given to us as is food, we have beds to sleep in and rooves over our heads and really we want for nothing, quite content to, in my day, go outside and play, weather permitting and imagine all sorts of things whilst having grand adventures in nature. So where does all that trust, courage and love go to as we get older?

From my perception it gets shut down by a blanket of fear based conditioning. Tiny piece by tiny piece it starts to be smothered by statements the adults in our lives make of “Don’t you fall from there”, “You be careful you don’t choke on that”, “You’ll break your arm if you climb that tree”, “Don’t run with scissors, you’ll injure yourself”, “Don’t play with that knife you will cut yourself”, “Don’t speak to ANYONE you don’t know already,” “Don’t you behave like that”, “Don’t be so noisy”, and on and on it goes with the don’t, don’t, don’t – when do we ever hear do, be, trust yourself, you can do that, you are strong, smart, caring, helpful ?

When do we hear you are beautiful, you are capable, all you need lays within yourself? When in the midst of an emotional release does a parent just allow that release to occur without trying to control the behaviour or telling the child to stop crying and use their words? How can anyone speak when they are in the midst of releasing emotional energy like grief, frustration or anger particularly if they have been brought up with being told they are stupid or a sook for expressing themselves or have had their self- expression squashed in other ways?

Constantly we are shut down from doing and from being who we truly are until like sheep we just become one of the herd baaing constantly with our complaints of this or that or verbally attacking or defending, or gossiping about others, making judgements and accusations, giving advice we were not asked to give, seeking outside ourselves for what we think we need.

That is NOT living, that is merely existing. We become so numb and non-present in our bodies we are like the walking dead, literally, because life becomes so boring. Heaven forbid we should express joy or laughter in quiet spaces like lifts or whilst hemmed into office cubicles or at functions where we have to remain “dignified” and silent.

I recall once one of my children being ever so embarrassed whilst out simply because I was listening to and feeling the music of some drummers and my body started moving to the beat of the drumming. How is that we have created a culture where we are embarrassed by Self-expression with something as beautiful as appreciating another’s musical ability and moving with the flow of that music?

How often do we hear – “Leave your personal stuff at home, don’t let it impact on your productivity here at work” or the reverse “Leave your work at work”. Since when is it truly possible for any human being to just flick a switch within themselves and turn off like a machine from what is going on in their life be it at home or at work just because some man made device with numbers on it says it is time to?

In order to cope with it all we land up self-medicating, hanging out for that drink at the end of the day or that cigarette on our break, both of which we then become addicted to, or worse we take other substances to “make” us feel better which then create more problems for us, or we become ill and dis-eased simply because our Soul has become so bored with it all. Just watch commuters on a train who day in day out, do the same thing over and over again, they become like robots just going through the motions. So many folk just hang in there for the weekend or for a holiday to escape it all and then their thinking is, shame that’s over now I have to go back to reality and the grind of it all. That grind of it all IS your life.

How many folk are SO relieved when Friday hits – many it would seem for it is not uncommon to see or hear these days TGIF or when Wednesday hits it is commonly known now as hump day as we are all on the downhill run to two days where we can do what we actually want to do with our lives, how sad. And seriously, what a WASTE of a life!

We are not here to be machines, to just constantly produce and make money to buy things or make other folk rich, none of which we can take with us anyway which some poor sod only has to sort out, distribute or sell or even worse still have arguments with remaining family members about it all, when we leave our physical bodies. So many of us have been brought up with the ethos of you have to study hard, do well at school, get a good job, get married, have children, get yourself into debt with a mortgage to own your own home, buy that flash car or whatever, which then ties you to that job you hate even more because that is, according to our fear based conditioning the best way for you to be successful in life. In the meantime you miss out on precious time with family and with yourself and then by the time you are “allowed” to retire you are, generally speaking, too old or too ill to actually enjoy any of it.

If you don’t have a job for whatever reason you are considered to be a bludger and if you fall outside the box regarding any of those things it is deemed there is something wrong with you by many. So much fear based rubbish is fed to us from such a young age it’s no wonder we are not all puking it back up on the side walk as in a robotic like trance we exist and fool ourselves into thinking this is how life just is. We even treat each other often like a commodity or a possession – you give me this and I’ll give you that, or you “can’t” do this or that, or even worse still as I recently heard on the radio, some young woman had separated from her partner and the news reader’s comment was …… and bla de bla is back on the market again….., referring to her like she was just some piece of meat for sale, I wasn’t aware we had markets for women these days in this culture.

I also recall once when I was ill from having pulled several weeks of 19 hour days, without proper lunch breaks or having the energy to eat of an evening when I finally got home, an offer to walk me to the doctor as I didn’t know where it was, during which walk, when I said thank you I heard returned “Well I have to look after my investment”. I was shocked, is that all I was – an investment? That prompted me to start thinking well perhaps it is truly time I started to more fully invest in myself. So blessings to he who said that and thank you.

Life is truly not about ANY of this fear based bollocks and constant robotic production/consumerism. Life is an abundant ever flowing creation and whatever we need will manifest, just as it did when we were children. How many times have doors been closed in your face only for new ones to open? How many times have really cruddy things happened that a bit later further down the track you can see the blessings in? We came into this life to create, for we are all creators and we are all the manifestation of Creation itself, with our thoughts, actions and words, we are not here to create a living hell for each other or the planet and bleat like sheep being pushed through a corral at shearing time. To become so desensitised to the atrocities in this world which humans inflict upon life on this planet that we just turn a blind eye to them or we do not get angry or sad about them.

How many people do you know who are actually in touch with their own passions, gifts, talents, skills and belief in themselves to such an extent that they know exactly what their purpose is in life, what they are here to do and who actually have the courage to break free of the boxes and just do it? What stops most folk from swimming the depths within themselves and pulling up the abundant treasures they contain which will enable them to do that which they love to do, not that which they feel they have to do? Fear, pure and simple.

Fear based conditioning that has been spoon fed to us since we were in diapers. We fear our pain, we fear the unknown, we fear the dark, we fear the light, we fear change, we fear not having a “job”, we fear life, we fear not having a home, we fear not having an income, we fear not being loved, we fear doing the Self work that would eliminate all the fear and all the pain and all the suffering. We fear death, we fear rejection, we fear loss, we fear illness, we even fear fear. Many miss their departed loved ones and yet become fear full should those loved ones make their presence known.

My goodness is there much in this world that we don’t fear given all we have been told and taken on as beliefs? Our heads are often terrified with whatever they conjure up and yet rarely do the fears we create in our own heads ever become a physical reality. At the end of the day in each and every single moment of life and even in death we are all absolutely fine.

Death is not something to fear, it is merely a transition from one state of being to another, just because we may not have a body any longer does not mean we do not exist. Personally I reckon once you move through your fear of death there really is nothing left to fear but by jingoes our fear based conditioning has a LOT to answer for because NONE of it is actually how life truly is and can be for ever so many of us. I saw a post a while ago on Facebook which I believe said something like:

F alse

E vidence

A ppearing

R eal ……… and that is precisely what fear is, an energy that squashes and conforms and stifles ever so much joy, love, peace, wisdom, self-confidence, self-expression and trust in this world.

If it is time you threw your fear blanket off, or started to remove it piece by piece, just as it was created for you to wear, untangling all the strands of it that have been woven around you so you can start to truly live your life as it was intended you live it with love, joy, abundance, excitement and passion – I have in my tool kit a pair of scissors I can loan you and many different ways in which I can assist you to untangle it.

Cheers, C.

•*´☾☆☽`*•

#Cheryl O’Connor.

#Holistic #Counsellor, Author & Writer.

* Cognitive & Body Based Counselling.

* Creative & Artistic Therapies.

* Specialising in #Dream #Analysis/#Conscious #Dreaming & #Shamanic Journeying.

* #Reiki/#Seichim Treatments & Attunements.

* #Isis #Meditation.

* Proud member of The Wellness Universe – www.TheWellnessUniverse.com #‎WUVIP

Newsletter Subscription @ bit.ly/CheocoNews – All subscribers will receive a 10% discount on their first initial consultation for any of my services along with 33 awesome tips and tricks to help you start deciphering your dreams, as well as the symbolism of what appears to you daily.

Website @ www.cheocoenterprises.com

My book The Promise, Skype & Email Consultations Available – bit.ly/Cheocoshop

I HAVE MOVED

We’ve all heard that old saying one door shuts and another opens and it was very much the situation for me this past week.

The same week my contract with Earthlee Angel Therapies at Burpengary came to an end and I chose not to renew it, I was gifted with the offer of using the space of the Signal Room which is part of the Railway Station, located in the South West corner of the Park at Old Petrie Town, North Pine Country Park, Dayboro Road, Kurwongbah by my lovely friend and family member, who has always been supportive of me and my work since the first day I walked into his Gallery in the park some 20 years ago now, Mr Terry Saleh, Spiritual Artist and Healer of Terry Saleh Art Global Enterprises.

The Railway Station was originally North Pine Station, opened in 1888 and it served as a Cobb & Co Station and Railway Station for over a century. It was later re-named Petrie Station after pioneer Tom Petrie. In 1992 it was moved to the park and it was officially re-opened by The Honourable Leneen Forde AC, Governor General of Queensland at the time in 1993.

With the help of my Warrior Woman mum, in less than 24 hours over a two day period, we cleaned and transformed the inside of the building and set it up for me to start practicing in as of this Sunday.

To have a space of my own to work from and create the Steiner Based Dolls and Toys in is just the most blessed gift I could have received this coming Easter. No longer will I need to cart boxes of materials and supplies constantly, loading and unloading my ute, or having craft materials scattered throughout my house which is where I have been making the dolls and toys from. Absolutely chuffed, excited and delighted is the only words close to how I was feeling when I accepted Terry’s offer. Filled with awe inspiring gratitude when I sat quietly in the space on my own yesterday also comes somewhat close to that experience.

Please note change of availability with this move starting this Easter Sunday:

Sunday: 8am to 1pm you will find me in the Signal Room.

Monday to Wednesday: 9am to 3pm at the Signal Room or at Lawnton.

If you would like to make an appointment please send me an email at cheoco99@yahoo.com.au

I have a vision in my head of things I would like to do with the space in due course but really didn’t think we could get it ready as quickly as we have done, so I am pretty darn pleased with the transformation so far. If you are passing by or just want to come and say hi – you are most welcome to do so, have a cuppa with me and lap up the peace and beauty of this space whilst you are at it.

Cheers and for those who celebrate it – Many Blessings for your Easter too.

Cheryl.

FORGIVENESS – IS IT REALLY NECESSARY?

Like many I was brought up with a belief that it was necessary to forgive others who I perceived created trauma, heartbreak, grief etc., for me and were hurtful and/or abusive towards me. There were many to forgive in my life and I saw the only way to find peace and acceptance within myself was to do the inner work, feel the pain, shock, trauma etc., and to literally “let it go” and in doing so forgiveness came.

Letting go doesn’t appear to me to occur just in the mind by thinking you should let it go or trying not to think about it, if something is coming into your mind it does so for a reason and for myself letting go only occurs with releasing the energy of whatever emotions have been stored within the body and subconscious from the experience that haven’t yet been fully felt. This combined with “Forgive them for they know not what they do”, which had been drummed into my head as a child, all worked fine and dandy until recently.

There is much written about the necessity of forgiveness and for a while I saw forgiveness as being for giving to self and others. That worked too for me but as we are all works in progress “stuff” comes up and into our awareness and we also gain more insight and understanding as “time” goes on, becoming more and more conscious. Things we may have thought 10 – 20 years ago for example no longer apply to so many of us for we are forever evolving and learning. For myself I’ve always been learning, growing and changing and may I never stop doing so. Much I was sharing some 20 years ago with folk, who thought I was nuts, is now very common to read or over hear being said.

An event had occurred in my life way back that bubbled up emotionally yet again for me to explore. Of all the events in my life I would have to say that this particular one has had the greatest impact on my life and my heart since it occurred. Many say the past is in the past so just move on, forget about it, let it go, that whatever just wasn’t meant to be and I have always struggled with that concept particularly around this specific incident for I am very aware that past, present and future all exist in now and that the energy of what we label past has a huge impact on ever so many of us.

If it didn’t cultural traditions for better and sometimes yes for worse would not be handed down, people would no longer re-act to things others say and do, there would be no need for “protection” by way of the military or arms and so it goes on. How often for example does it occur that we have a gut re-action of anxiety, fear, defensiveness or attack, which is purely based on a past experience that is merely being triggered by a present situation?

This particular event in my life is one that wounded my heart very, very deeply. It is not something I will ever forget. It has been something that I have just had to learn to live with and allow the grief to surface and be released as and when it needs to be and so as I found myself re-visiting it yet again, as we do when something is so traumatic and overwhelming that to process it all in one hit is just way too much to cope with, I had the thought and feeling that I needed to forgive behaviour which I found totally manipulative and one of the worst behaviours imaginable to me. Forgiveness had come easily with ever so many folk yet with this particular event I was struggling big time.

I could see the gifts that had been received from the event as my journey through life would never have been what it was if things had of been different and there were ever so many gifts and so much to be grateful for. Yet forgiveness just was not coming and I started beating myself up about it not coming. Dreams were indicating that something really yuck and awful was on its way out and physically I became ill for two weeks with flu like symptoms as I was processing it all. My bones ached to the very core of them and I just had to shut down and off to sleep, dream and rest my body.

I then stumbled across a poster that Mena of Mena Canonico DARE to be REAL had shared on Facebook and it was along the lines of there being no need for forgiveness unless we see ourselves as a victim. A light bulb went on for me in the moment of reading that poster and the truth tingles ran rapidly through my body. I was SO delighted to have this come my way as it made perfect sense to me of why I had not for a second been able to feel forgiveness towards others who had created so much grief for me and for another, with their manipulative lies. It was indeed to my heart and head an unforgiveable act of manipulation and certainly not something I would or will ever forget or forgive.

It did however send me off on a tangent at a young age that without the gift of it I never would have taken. I could clearly see that at a Soul level if you like my path was just meant to be what it was and that these particular people had played their roles beautifully in ensuring I stay on track in order to achieve what I was here to do for myself in terms of healing and learning so that ultimately I could provide a safe, nurturing, validating and sacred space for others to explore themselves in.

Mena’s poster was a life changer for me because it is so very true that when we can see the lessons and gifts, can feel gratitude for all we have experienced and do experience, the good, the bad and the ugly, we gain acceptance and peace and we learn that truly there is nothing to forgive ourselves or anyone else for when you know with every cell of your being that you are NOT a victim, that you chose at some part of you to experience what you did and do experience for your own growth and learning.

This then led to another conversation with a longstanding and very dear friend about blame and judgement and we concluded for now that those too are all part of the Victim mentality. Of things being done “to” us rather than us taking responsibility for our part in the experience and seeing that nothing is ever done “to” us without our consent and permission at some level for we do indeed choose to participate in whatever we experience for our own development and evolution.

There is also much talk about forgiving yourself – for what exactly? For learning, for growing, for becoming the person you have become or are still becoming due to your lessons and experiences? What is there really to forgive yourself for? Why not just work on loving and being proud of yourself instead for being so brave and courageous to choose to experience ever so much that we all do here to ourselves and others, usually in ignorance, in this physical world.

Cheers, Cheryl.

•*´☾☆☽`*•

#Cheryl O’Connor.

#Holistic #Counsellor, Author & Writer.

* Cognitive & Body Based Counselling.

* Creative & Artistic Therapies.

* Specialising in #Dream #Analysis/#Conscious #Dreaming & #Shamanic Journeying.

* #Reiki/#Seichim Treatments & Attunements.

* #Isis #Meditation.

* Proud member of The Wellness Universe – www.TheWellnessUniverse.com #‎WUVIP

Website @ www.cheocoenterprises.com

My book The Promise, Skype & Email Consultations Available – bit.ly/Cheocoshop

GIVE AND TAKE, OR ………….. GIVE AND RECEIVE

Much of the conditioning many of us were brought up with appears to me to be rather somewhat flawed. Is this because of the natural evolution of consciousness or is it just because many who came before us and many of us even now still don’t stop to question what we have been told and believe to be true?

I don’t know the answer to that question for everyone I only know for myself I have always questioned all I have been told because experience tells me that somewhere in between what two or more people believe to be a truth, lays a truth, neither have yet seen.

We’ve all heard the phrase that relationships are a matter of give and take but are they, really?

This implies to me that when we give we believe that we should also take i.e. that if we give to one person then that person is obliged to give to us in return. Often if they don’t, those with a give and take mentality and expectation they will receive land up being disappointed or re-active with a well, what about me attitude.

I was instilled with certain things when I was younger, things that I became conditioned to believe and some of those things I adhere to like manners for they cost nothing and it never hurts to say please or say thank you. It is polite and to me it is respectful and it feels very right in my heart to use those words. Apart from those two things much of what I grew up with I had to question and this whole give and take mentality was one such thing that never quite rang true with me. It still doesn’t.

So many times I have seen folk who give with the expectation of receiving – it rarely turns out well for when they don’t receive from who they expect to receive from, they become disappointed, resentful and think well why the heck should I help you in future when you need help, when you can’t be bothered to help me. Often this turns into a situation of people feeling obliged to help so as not to create difficulties in friendships, lose friendships or lose connections with other folk, or for whatever other reason people have for feeling obliged and acting out of obligation, not for the love and passion of doing something.

It is a rather interesting exercise therefore to just give for no other reason than your heart or your consciousness or whatever other part of you gives you the impulse to help and expect absolutely nothing in return. The more you practice this the more awesome things happen in your life.

Not so long ago a very dear friend was not feeling too well, they had been pushing their body really hard in relation to long hours and were feeling rather fluey. Their muscles were aching and they asked if I could give them a quick massage – sure no problems was my response. I also landed up giving them some Reiki/Seichim. During the course of this massage and healing session there was nothing more than just the act of giving with love to someone close to me who needed me to assist them so their body could feel a little better. It wasn’t until after the session that an offer was then made to me that would prove to be very beneficial to me and my work. I was so chuffed with the offer I took them up on it. It was the last thing I expected for the thought of what they offered me had not even entered my head.

Other times I have seen rewards given to others in many different environments for things they have done which they did willingly and usually out of their own initiative. When rewarded others have gotten their noises out of joint and come from the attitude and mentality of well what about me I did this or I did that, where is my reward?

I am not sure if this is just something that is part of human nature or if it is actually just conditioning we have become accustomed to but I do know this from many experiences …… when we give with no thought of reward, with no expectation that we should take in return or be rewarded in some way for what we ourselves choose to give to another or others, awesome things happen in our lives, usually when we most need them to and we do indeed receive, rather than take.

Cheers, Cheryl.

•*´☾☆☽`*•

#Cheryl O’Connor.

#Holistic #Counsellor, Author & Writer.

* Cognitive & Body Based Counselling.

* Creative & Artistic Therapies.

* Specialising in #Dream #Analysis/#Conscious #Dreaming & #Shamanic Journeying.

* #Reiki/#Seichim Treatments & Attunements.

* #Isis #Meditation.

* Proud member of The Wellness Universe – www.TheWellnessUniverse.com #‎WUVIP

Website @ www.cheocoenterprises.com

My book The Promise, Skype & Email Consultations Available – bit.ly/Cheocoshop

HEALING PARENTAL WOUNDS

We all know children do not come with instructions and that we receive no prior “training” in order to become a parent yet for any other job or activity we undertake there is a period of learning before we are deemed “qualified”. It is very much a learn as you go experience and no-one can really tell you how to do what ultimately becomes the biggest task in your life, nurturing, being responsible for, guiding and teaching another person to an age and a stage where they can and do look after themselves totally and are totally responsible for themselves and their lives.

In times gone past a tribe would be involved in the upbringing of the young ones, then we moved to large family units being involved in their raising but more and more over time we have moved to the reality of just one or perhaps two people taking on this mammoth task of raising young folk and for many who are in pursuit of obtaining adequate housing and lifestyle that is in keeping with the “societal” standard more and more parents are working full time, mostly to pay off debt they incur to live the societal lifestyle standard, whilst leaving their child in another’s care who they do not really know but who has apparently received adequate training in caring for children.

It has me a bit baffled that in order to leave a child in another’s care in day care centres those others have to undergo a lot of training, cannot turn up to work drunk, cannot be abusive emotionally, mentally, physically or sexually, and yet we parents undergo absolutely no such training, nor do we have to meet such criteria. Our training is usually on the job, in the moment learning.

For others such as single parents it is also often the case that they simply must work in order to keep a roof over their and their children’s heads, clothes on everyone’s back, pay the bills and have food on the table.

It’s a huge task being a parent, often tiring and often stressful as we juggle work and family commitments all the time just winging it as we go. We all do the best we can with the awareness we have at any given time and really cannot expect much more than that from ourselves, given our lack of preparedness and training for the job.

Many children, like myself, grew up in environments where alcohol abuse, used as a medicine for coping with whatever stresses were being experienced, was common. We also grew up in an era where copping a flogging was the norm, being told not to behave in certain ways when we got angry, thereby squashing down our emotions or were projected onto by unresolved issues our parents had etc., and today much of what we grew up with would be considered child abuse.

Many of us grew up with wounds being inflicted upon us by our parents behaviour and lack of self-awareness, lack of ability to cope and in dysfunctional families, and many children still are growing up in similar environments being yelled at, put down, living with alcohol or drug addicted or abusive adults, being treated in ways that no doubt are creating wounds for them and forming patterns of behaviour which their parents are handing down to them, just as those who came before them have unconsciously done.

For myself the most mammoth task of parenting came when I would say or do things and think oohh my goodness that is not me, not really, that is my mother. My first born was a catalyst for me to become aware of and heal many wounds that had been inflicted on me as a child and for that I will always be ever so grateful to her. In the process though there were wounds unconsciously inflicted on her by me as I juggled full time work, often getting up at 3.30am and not getting back to bed until 9 – 10 o’clock at night. I was not in a position for several years where I could just not work, it was a necessity to our survival and yes it was exhausting. The only support available to me at the time was that provided by the day care centre she attended and some assistance from my own grandparents. For myself I have been working full time 90% of the time since I was a young teenager.

I was not the type of mother who would leave my child and later children on their own and go out clubbing or pubbing. I did not bring an endless stream of men home nor did I drink alcohol or wipe myself out on drugs. My child/children have always lived in nice, clean, lovely homes, always been well dressed, never gone without a meal or anything they have really needed. Luxuries have never really existed and there are many things I would have liked to have done for them or with them but just had no money or time to do those but yes good budget management has no doubt been learned along with many other necessary skills. There has been the odd holiday here or there locally but for the most part the past 25 years of my life, being an 80% of the time solo parent, has been devoted to raising two children whilst doing all that needs doing at home as well as working mostly full time with just the odd break to that here and there. Was I a perfect mother, far from it and I never will be.

I spent 10 years in and out of depression and on a mammoth journey to rid myself of all that was no longer serving me or making me happy, whilst going through what is known as a Spiritual Crisis. I worked solidly on healing the wounds which had been inflicted on me by my parents – abandonment, abuse, alcoholism and essentially I did the very best I could do given my situation and my need to be responsible for myself and my child/children, just as my parents had done before me. It wasn’t until I stopped focussing on the self indulgent hard done by mentality and started digging into my parents stories that I uncovered the why of how they had behaved towards me. I came to realise, with age, that no matter what a parent does for a child, teaches a child to do for themselves, no childhood is EVER going to be perfectly how we as children would like it to be.

I am 50 now, still raising one child on my own and I have two grand-daughters. For the past two years since a work contract ended I have been working my butt off, often up to 18 hours a day, 7 days a week to study so I have the mainstream qualifications necessary to tie up in a neat bow that which I love to do whilst also establishing a business out of what I love to do, not just doing any longer what I have felt I have needed to do to survive since I walked out of home at 14. My whole parental life has been a situation of my children are part of my life but they are not my whole entire life as I saw ever so many women whilst I was growing up who made their children their entire life and then once the children had left the nest, as children rightly do, they were lost and had no sense of identity other than being someone’s Mum.

One of the greatest gifts given to me on this journey was seeing how patterns of behaviour have been passed down through the generations and how at some point in every child’s life it is a totally necessary part of growing up and taking responsibility for themselves that they do whatever is needed to also heal the wounds their parents unconsciously inflicted on them and learn to totally stand on their own two feet. That they cease to blame or accuse their parent/s for whatever they feel or think the parent has or hasn’t done which is not to their liking.

It is said children choose us, we do not choose them and from my experiences with my children that was very much the situation. Children come through us, they do not belong to us. We give them the gift of life out of love, what they ultimately do with that life is entirely up to them but there must come a point in all our lives where we stop attacking, blaming and getting our knickers in a twist because our parents didn’t or don’t do what we believe as children or even as adults they “should” do now or should have done way back when, or what we expect them to do. We all at some stage reach the point where we simply have to start parenting ourselves. When we love others, truly love them, we have no expectations of them. We don’t chuck hissy fits at them, nor do we ignore them or be rude to them simply because they are not doing what we think they should be doing or what we want them to do.

Many children these days seem to expect that their parents, after they have raised them and they have children of their own should be there to constantly offer support and guidance and to look after grand-children whilst they go off and do whatever. Guess what kiddies, many of us grandparents are tired having raised our own families and whilst many of us dearly love our grandchildren and enjoy spending time with them, we have reached an age where we also enjoy our quiet time, when we can get it.

We don’t have the energy we once had nor do we much have the tolerance for noise we used to have. Life moves, finally, at a bit of a slower pace for us and we have learnt the hard way that having expectations of anyone is just a recipe for heartache and disappointment. We can no longer be bothered engaging ourselves in the dramas of youth either with your relationship issues and we live very much in the moment of now for we know there truly is no guarantee of tomorrow for any of us. We’ve learnt that whilst having goals is essential if we are to create and achieve what we would like to experience in life, it is futile making set in cement plans. Plans rarely ever turn out how we plan and so we move more easily in the flow of life rather than constantly battling with that flow. Our emotional life has become much more stable, we don’t suffer the highs and lows that we did like a pendulum at full pelt swinging from one extreme to another at a younger age and if things pan out according to skeletal plans made they do, if they don’t we don’t get in a fluster about any of it much anymore.

We all come here to learn and grow, not to have everyone do what we think they should do. We come here to experience ever so much and we cannot ever expect that one person is going to be able to give us all we need. As I have always said to my two – you have one father and mother but if you are really lucky you will meet many who will fulfil the gaps in those roles because neither I nor your father will EVER be able to give you all you need or want.

So regardless of our ages if we haven’t yet healed our parental wounds we are still acting out of them with barriers and defence mechanisms and having re-actions rather than responses towards our parents and also towards others. We all have them, there is no escaping them but ultimately at the end of the day it is OUR responsibility to heal them, not our parent’s responsibility to do that for us, nor can we blame them for what we think or feel, nor the lessons we have chosen to come here and learn which they have so beautifully provided for us to learn by giving us the ultimate gift, the gift of life.

Cheers, Cheryl.

Image sourced from Pixabay.

•*´☾☆☽`*•…

‪#‎Cheryl‬ O’Connor.
‪#‎Holistic‬ ‪#‎Counsellor‬, Author & Writer.

* Cognitive & Body Based Counselling.
* Creative & Artistic Therapies.
* Specialising in ‪#‎Dream‬ ‪#‎Analysis‬/‪#‎Conscious‬ ‪#‎Dreaming‬ & ‪#‎Shamanic‬ Journeying.
* ‪#‎Reiki‬/‪#‎Seichim‬ Treatments & Attunements.
* Isis ‪#‎Meditation‬.

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Website @ www.cheocoenterprises.com
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Twitter: Cheryl O’Connor@Cheoco99
Email: cheoco99@yahoo.com.au

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD?

I’ve been hearing this question or the statement I don’t know what is wrong with the world more often than not lately.

It’s prompted pondering – what actually is wrong with the world?

Essentially I see nothing at all “wrong” with the world as such, however some human behaviour leaves a lot to be desired and a lot of us are left scratching our heads totally incapable of understanding why people are abusing and/or murdering each other and children, why folk are raping, pillaging and poisoning the air, water and land, why people in government are constantly receiving pay increases whilst cutting essential programmes and services we NEED and pay for with our taxes, when some of us can barely scrape enough money together to pay our rent, our bills or put food on the table. We are also left wondering why there are people who are homeless, hungry and sick whilst others spend absolutely ridiculous amounts of money on trinkets and toys. Many of us cannot for the life of us understand the why of any of it for it appears to us to be total insanity.

Perhaps it is insanity, or perhaps it is more a case of many people being in a state of total unconsciousness i.e. totally unaware of all they are projecting onto and blaming others for which would, I hazard a guess, fall into a category of those folk not having the willingness or even the knowing or desire to accept responsibility for THEIR thoughts and THEIR feelings, nor the skills to process them, without harm to the planet and those who live here, not just humans either.

Perhaps it is also about greed which falls into unconsciousness as those who are greedy have absolutely no awareness the Universe is abundant and provides us with all we need. Perhaps it is about a need to feel powerful and in control of others because those folk are not in control of themselves and feel powerless hence their need to control that which is external to them.

Perhaps it is due to our extremely reinforced conditioning that all is external to us, including what many refer to as “God” which yes again falls into a category of total unconsciousness. Is total unconsciousness then actually the “Insanity of Humanity”?

I am reminded of the Beatles song – “All you need is love” as I sit here processing thoughts and feelings about what I affectionately call “The Insanity of Humanity” for there is nothing that can be written that hasn’t already been said. So why bother writing or sharing anything with anyone? A very good question and the only possible answer I can give is because even though it’s all been done and said so many, many times over and over again, we humans still haven’t got the message and why is that?

We are all intelligent and many of us claim our intelligence is what makes us “superior” over the whole of the natural world and even the Universe which we generally see as being “beneath” us and “belonging” to us as we pillage, rape, pollute and destroy our world in order to be “wealthy”, “rich” and “powerful”.

How very intelligent we are to allow major banks and corporations to destroy our natural world, the only true home we all have, our health, our cultures and our well-being with their greed for money and “things”. How very intelligent we are to allow so very much of what occurs in this world to occur and when will we all wake up to the reality that we belong to the Earth, the Earth does not belong to us? That we are in fact an intrinsic part of nature, a part of the Universe, not separate to it or from it and that we and all we see are connected? When will we all truly get it that nature has MUCH to teach us about ourselves and each other and that nature provides us with all we truly need to live on this planet? It is therefore to my way of thinking nothing but TOTAL insanity to keep on polluting, pillaging and raping the Earth that freely gives us all life for there is no other planet any of us are aware of that sustains life. Even if there were we are custodians of this planet and well frankly we are doing a pretty crap job for the most part in being responsible custodians of it for future generations to live here.

The world has existed for millions of years as humans have come and gone, and in more recent times, sadly leaving a path of destruction behind them. What of the future? Will Mother Nature, as she has in the past, say enough of all you humans and wipe us out totally because of our fear based way of life, our ignorance, our unwillingness to free ourselves from a system we have just blindly accepted is the only way to live on this planet, and our greed? Every great civilisation that has ever lived on the planet reaches a certain stage of its development or evolution if you prefer to call it that, and then is wiped out by natural or human causes.

In 2012 according to some this was the year the world would end, cease to be, clearly it never did end and is it possible the world will ever end? Perhaps…. It hasn’t however ended at any time during the past 405,000,000 years that we know of, just evolved continually as has the life that lives upon it, so why would it just suddenly end? Whilst countless lives have been lost on this planet due to war, greed, ignorance, revenge, hate, possession and a need to control and have power over others, the planet has lived on. What is possible though is that the billions of human inhabitants, many of us who have been slowly waking up to who we truly are will fully wake up and take back our own power and our lands peacefully. For according to someone’s story in a book called “The Bible” – “The meek shall inherit the Earth.” I live in hope.

For thousands of years many have spoken of peace and love, compassion, kindness, equality and respect. Many of those who spoke this and attempted to implement it were killed for doing so, why? Messages and messengers have been all around us for eons yet do we see them? Do we hear them? It is like we are mostly blind and deaf to our true potential, to who we truly are and the ability we have to heal ourselves and our planet (which is truly just reflecting the damage we have done and are doing to ourselves) thereby creating Heaven on Earth rather than continue to exist in the Hell of suffering we have created for ourselves and many others on this planet. Do we not realise “the Kingdom of Heaven lays within” just as too so does “Hell”. Do we not at all see that our internal reality is what manifests back to us in the external? Do we not see that we have enslaved ourselves in a totally fear based “control system” which rewards the “rich” and penalises the “poor”? Yet who is to say that those who do not have a lot of material wealth are poor, for they are rich in many ways the so-called rich cannot even begin to imagine.

Is it not insanity to accumulate debt that we have no means of paying back? We truly never do own the land we live on we just think we do because we have exchanged pieces of paper with numbers written on them for a piece of paper that says we do. Is it not insanity to destroy the very world and life that sustains us? Is it not insanity to give humans chemicals in the form of pills to make them feel better when they are “sick”, which have the potential to create even more sickness with their “side effects” – what side effects? An effect is an effect, there is nothing about it being on the side, and all of this is as I see it a result of fear based conditioning and programming we have been subjected to for most of our lives. Is it not insanity that the bulk of the population on this planet spend their lives, not living but surviving? Is it not insanity to accumulate “things” only for them to land up as rubbish that pollutes our world? Is it not insanity to spend, on average, some 40 plus hours a week making someone else “rich” or focussing on money so much for ourselves to appear to be successful, whilst we neglect family, get stressed, become exhausted and ill, whilst thinking that we are in fact providing for them and ourselves with “things”.

How do we justify this insanity?

Personally I can’t justify any of it other than to conclude that those who appear to be acting from a space of insanity may just simply not have awoken to the truth of themselves and of life yet. I live in hope they do for all our sakes.

Image sourced from the internet, creator unknown.

•*´☾☆☽`*•…

‪#‎Cheryl‬ O’Connor.
‪#‎Holistic‬ ‪#‎Counsellor‬, Author & Writer.

Website @ www.cheocoenterprises.com
My book The Promise, Skype & Email Consultations Available – bit.ly/Cheocoshop

FB: https://www.facebook.com/cheocoenterprises
Skype: cheryloconnor333

Twitter: Cheryl O’Connor@Cheoco99
Email: cheoco99@yahoo.com.au

SPIDER – Weaving the Web of Life.

Not everyone’s favourite critter and certainly not mine BUT Spider is symbolic of much. Spider is said to have woven the first primordial alphabet. So can be about writing. Spider speaks of our connection to all that exists in the world wide (universal) web. Spider’s body is shaped like a figure 8 – symbol for DNA and her 8 legs are said to symbolise the fo…ur directions and the four winds of change.Spider can be a warning message to not get caught up in our own illusions of ourselves and the physical world. Spider is also about creating and her web is said to represent the wheel of life to which we are all bound.

She can be a warning to not get caught up in the polarities of good and bad and a reminder that we can create anything we want to in our lives. Spider, like ourselves is always creating and it is prudent to be mindful of what exactly we are creating for ourselves without getting caught up in the web of our own delusions.

She can also be a reminder for us to not get so tangled up in our own webs of destructiveness and criticism when it comes to our relationships with others. For some Spiders will indeed kill and eat their own partners. Copyright C. O’Connor 2014.

•*´☾☆☽`*•…

‪#‎Cheryl‬ O’Connor.
‪#‎Holistic‬ ‪#‎Counsellor‬, Author & Writer.

Website @ www.cheocoenterprises.com
My book The Promise, Skype & Email Consultations Available – bit.ly/Cheocoshop

FB: https://www.facebook.com/cheocoenterprises
Skype: cheryloconnor333

Twitter: Cheryl O’Connor@Cheoco99
Email: cheoco99@yahoo.com.au

LIFE AS A DREAM

“Everything that comes to me
is a reflection of Self so I see
that as within, so too without
leaving me with no doubt
of the work on Self that must be done
in order for Humanity to be consciously One.

Judging none, accepting all,
surrendering to the rise and fall,
fully feeling the pain inside,
from myself I can never hide,
and as I become One with my Soul
I begin to realise my only role
is to love and respect all that’s around me
but firstly love and respect for myself there must be.”

It was during a time of non-dreaming when I was needing answers and none were forthcoming by their usual method of delivery i.e. dreaming, that one day I thought I wonder what would happen if I started treating things, people, events and animals that crossed my path just as I would a dream. Would the answers I was seeking then come to me?

So with great curiosity I made a decision to start looking at life in that way whenever I had a re-action (re-acting out an old subconscious behavioural pattern I didn’t particularly like or experiencing intense emotions i.e. what folk normally refer to as a reaction rather than a response) or with whatever I encountered, bird, reptile, beast, the wind and whatever direction it was coming from, people who crossed my path, traffic lights, slogans and signs that “spoke” to me, numbers, rooms, street names, clouds that formed very definite shapes, types of trees – essentially everything that occurred or crossed my path in my so called “waking” reality in this physical realm of logical and rational thinking.

If for example a water pipe broke, a light bulb went out, a glass smashed, a door became stuck, if I got a red light run or a green light run etc., etc., I treated all exactly as I would a dream i.e. as an aspect of Self just as I would a “sleeping” dream when I woke up each morning. I would use the method I have developed for working with a dream, for always the present situation, our questions and feelings about it and the answer to any question or pondering we have during our waking reality will be revealed in dreaming. The good majority of us though, have lost the knowledge of how dreams speak to us and in fact how life truly speaks to us.

What I discovered amazed and excited me for when I started bringing the personal symbolic meanings I had spent a great deal of time getting to know, which I used in my dream analysis, along with my way of working with a dream, into my daily life, my experiences clearly showed me I was essentially in fact living one huge dream of my own creation whether “awake” or “asleep”.

Ever since I have therefore treated ALL that crosses my path as a symbolic aspect of my Self whenever I have needed to make a decision about which path to take at crossroads; to assist with just “knowing” whether something was right for me or not; or whenever there has been anything I haven’t quite understood which I do need to see and understand. It takes time to actually get the hang of this but if a person starts practising it a whole new awareness can open up and it truly will amaze.

The reality and biggest bonus for all being that folk don’t necessarily need to experience dreaming in what we term “sleep” in order to understand the deeper meanings behind the veil of illusion of everyday so called “waking” life that dreaming gives us.

When we start to look at daily life symbolically, as we would a dream, we find situations which arise are taken less personally and the ability can be gained to see a little deeper into the issue i.e. what it is teaching us about ourselves and the action we need to take, or not take, in relation to it.

We soon come to realise that messages for our personal growth, use and guidance are abundant and this is especially true when we are dealing with challenges (not problems) I personally believe, as John Lennon once said, “There are no problems, only solutions.” Challenges if you like, that we set up for ourselves to find creative solutions to, to test our skills, knowledge and growth and whether or not we have actually healed a wound that would normally create a re-action, as opposed to a response.

Often we will learn something and for a time it is only a theory that just makes perfect sense to us and resonates with us, then we will experience it i.e. we are given the chance and opportunity to put that theory into practice. Some lessons true, take longer to sink in than others, many refer to those repetitive lessons as mistakes or if they experience something that isn’t pleasant those too are seen as mistakes rather than just the learning curves that they are and folk will often throw a negative connotation on them but we will repeat something several times in various different scenarios until yep we now not only “know” it, as in the theory of it, but more importantly we have experienced it, integrated it and we now understand it and can apply it in our lives. As an example I can share for many many years I appeared to attract abusive behaviour by others, once I stopped abusing myself the reflection of that no longer appeared in others.

How many times do we encounter people who we feel treat us badly? We are often faced with situations that bring up emotions such as anger, frustration, sadness and disappointment. We, or the other person, are often left feeling the intensity of our emotions. Sometimes we confront the person and try to sort out the difficulty, other times we don’t. Often the issue is never mentioned again as we try to pretend nothing has happened yet we feel an invisible barrier with these folk, or we simply avoid the person who we think has caused our distress or discomfort. We often take “offence” to something another has done or said and therein lays a very interesting word. “Offence” when I play with it I get “A fence” – i.e. a barrier put up so strongly that no-one can get through it.

Many of us were never taught and still have not mastered effective communication skills or good confrontational skills. Most of us run a mile rather than confront another about any discomfort we may be experiencing due to what another has said, done or not done. Our whole conditioning in our western culture has been one of competition, of win or lose, of right and wrong, of my way or the highway, yet with effective communication skills and good confrontational skills it does not need to be this way. Interactions can move from discomfort, strong emotion or attack and blame scenarios to one of clear boundaries, assertive and effective communication, self-confidence and mutual respect with a desire to understand where each other is coming from by asking questions, by being curious, rather than judging, accusing, assuming, blaming, shaming, attempting to “make” another feel guilty or creating a fence.

Once we begin to look at absolutely everything and everyone who crosses our path as being a symbolic aspect of Self/part of Self we start to feel acceptance and gratitude for whatever comes our way, although granted we certainly may not feel that when the event that has triggered our own subconscious distress and re-active behaviour first occurs!

It is however OUR distress to deal with. No-one can “make” another feel anything – they are OUR feelings, no-one else’s. Learning and understanding what I perceive to be the lost language of dreams can help us all enormously for it is one of our greatest allies, providing a wealth of healing, knowledge and wisdom accessible to every single person on the planet freely and frequently.

Everywhere we go, everything we hear, everything we overhear, everyone we meet and every single situation we encounter has a deeper meaning when treated symbolically. Messages are EVERYWHERE yet we rarely see them, let alone give thanks for them or the priceless gifts they and others bring into our lives. We are usually too busy rushing here or there and realistically where are we all really rushing to? Many say “I’m getting there” where exactly is “there”?

Often folk are so busy talking about a situation, feeling we are hard done by, or rehashing events that have upset us over and over in our minds to stop and be still enough to truly listen and see the truth of what is really occurring.

Often we struggle and suffer through our experiences, judging, blaming, resenting, accusing, making assumptions and trying to figure out why another has behaved the way they have, yet rarely do we even ask them why or ask what is going on for them. More times than not most folk will discuss the issue with someone else, with both assuming or trying to guess why another has done or said whatever they have done or said to supposedly cause another distress or upset.

Sometimes we even go so far as to not even speak to those who we feel caused our distress. Our ingrained subconscious conditioning is to continually project ourselves onto others blaming them for whatever happens in OUR lives and whatever emotions WE feel.

Every single experience we have had or do have in life we have created at a deeper level for ourselves. Each one of us has been given “free will” and once we truly get this we have learnt to accept FULL responsibility for everything that has and does occur in our lives.

One of the quickest, most beautiful and easiest empowering words any of us can ever use is “I”. I feel, I think, I am wondering, I need to, I should, I must, I will, rather than using words like “you make me”, “you think I”, “you need to”, “you should/shouldn’t”, “you must/mustn’t”, “you don’t” etc.

So many times the use of “you” lands up in an argument with raised voices and intense emotions coming to the surface. It seems to me that often when we don’t feel heard or understood we automatically raise our voice perhaps in a subconscious effort to be heard yet it is not the volume attached to what we need to say that is creating the misunderstanding in most situations – saying something louder doesn’t make it any better understood, it just leads to the other person raising their voice also. It is rather synchronistic that as I am typing this in the background I can hear a classic “YOU”, “YOU”, “YOU” argument which is occurring quite loudly on the television which another in the Bat Cave has turned on.

The moment we use the word you in front of any other word, more particularly when we are experiencing strong emotional re-actions or discomfort, we are projecting onto another person and we will automatically create a barrier between that person and our Self.

Whereas if we replace “you” with “I” we neither give our own personal power away, nor our Self responsibility, nor will another throw up an invisible barrier that “you” smacks them in the face with as being a personal attack on them, which then pushes them into a space of instant defence caused by offence, and further away.

There is a nursery rhyme I am sure many will remember which on the surface means diddly squat really and yet it holds great and profound wisdom:-

“Row Row Row your boat
Gently down the stream
Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Merrily
Life is but a Dream!”

When looked at symbolically this rhyme holds far greater meaning than we generally give it credit for, for realistically most of us give it no credit and perhaps think of it as a cute but silly little nursery rhyme young children seem to have enjoyed hearing and singing over time.

Essentially a boat is a vessel that journeys on top of and through water. Our bodies are the vessels we journey through life in. Water is generally symbolic of our emotions. Therefore symbolically speaking the boat represents us and how we could be handling the emotions we travel through, if we all truly realised Life is But a Dream, of our own creation.

Cheers, Cheryl.

•*´☾☆☽`*•…

‪#‎Cheryl‬ O’Connor.
‪#‎Holistic‬ ‪#‎Counsellor‬, Author & Writer.

Website @ www.cheocoenterprises.com
My book The Promise, Skype & Email Consultations Available – bit.ly/Cheocoshop

FB: https://www.facebook.com/cheocoenterprises
Skype: cheryloconnor333

Twitter: Cheryl O’Connor@Cheoco99
Email: cheoco99@yahoo.com.au

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Cheryl O'Connor – Cheoco Enterprises

Undergraduate Social Worker, Qualified Holistic Counsellor specialising in Active Dreaming. Craftswoman. Artist, Reiki/Seichim Master. Author/Writer. Online Consultations Available

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RECONNECTING WITH OUR INNER CHILD

Are we truly busy?

“The most common thing I hear folk say these days when asked how they are is “Busy”.

ADDICTION FROM A SHAMANIC VIEWPOINT

Is “Constructive Criticism” really Constructive ?

THANK YOU!

MIRROR MIRROR ON THE WALL

DEATH IS ONLY A BREATH AWAY

FEAR BASED CONDITIONING

I HAVE MOVED

FORGIVENESS – IS IT REALLY NECESSARY?

GIVE AND TAKE, OR ………….. GIVE AND RECEIVE

HEALING PARENTAL WOUNDS

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD?

SPIDER – Weaving the Web of Life.

LIFE AS A DREAM

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“The most common thing I hear folk say these days when asked how they are is “Busy”.

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