One of the most powerful words any of us can ever learn to use when we are communicating with others, besides no, is I.

For some folk that may seem an odd thing to say as it could be read that I am referring to being selfish – far from it.  There is a massive difference between being selfish and being self-centred and self-empowered.

What I have noticed consistently in my life, as I have observed interactions occurring between myself and others and between others, is that whenever “you” statements occur in a conversation as in “you have”, “you do”, “you do not”, “you are”, “you need to”, “you should” or “you must” etc., we are not coming from a space of Self-centred response, empowerment, love, peace or balance.

Ten times out of ten we are actually in the midst of a totally non thought about re-action (re-acting out an old subconscious behavioural pattern) as we busily, rudely, loudly and usually quite angrily fly off the handle and into another, not at all aware that we are projecting our own shadow and that which we do not see, or perhaps don’t want to see, hear or take responsibility for, within ourselves or about ourselves, onto another.

Whenever I hear “you” this or that, either from another or coming out of my own mouth or head in an attacking way my warning system rings a very loud alarm that screams like the robot from Lost in Space – Warning, Warning, Warning, Danger Will Robinson, Danger and the word “projection” blasts into my awareness. (Yes I know I am showing my age.)

One of the greatest challenges I personally face every single day are my own reality checks I feel compelled to make in relation to what I put out for others to read or not read, their choice, in terms of posters or articles.  If I personally am not living the truth of what I am putting out in my interactions behind the scenes – I want to know about it because often the folk closest to me in my life see me clearer than I can see myself.

I therefore have several folk who help me keep a check on that because I have specifically asked them to point that kind of thing out to me as it is so very easy to create words that others can resonate with, relate to, be motivated or inspired by but if my interactions with others behind the scenes of those posters or articles are not congruent with the words I am putting out, they hold no value to me, or you, the reader, whatsoever.

They would just be hollow meaningless hypocritical jibber jabber at the core. They would have no depth, truth or substance and would not be coming from a space of integrity, they would just be nothing but noise created to add to an already often very noisy world wide web full of information, opinions, stories, perceptions, re-actions and responses.

When we become self-aware enough to stop using “you” and come instead from a space of Self-centred peace, a desire to understand, response and love, in a balanced way and therefore state instead “I think”, “I feel”, “it appears to me”, “I am”, “from my perception”, “for me” etc., we ARE taking full responsibility for whatever is going on for us, within us, emotionally or cognitively. We are NOT projecting our own “stuff” onto anyone else, nor are we are blaming others for our own experience.   We are also not coming from a space of attack or defence, but a state of Self-aware empowered response.

Often when folk attack, for whatever reasons they are justifying in their own heads with whatever story they have created for themselves and fully believe, it is not only hurtful, it can sometimes be downright spiteful or misleading and it can often get very ugly very quickly, for the one attacked, quite rightly, feels a need to defend, explain, justify, attack back etc., and the result then often is a situation where more misunderstanding occurs due to intensifying energy building up and going back and forth in defence/attack/attack/defence style a bit like a tennis volley that just gets louder, more re-active and quicker as it gains momentum.

If we automatically re-act and attack or re-act to an attack and put ourselves in a situation upon being attacked where we do defend, justify and attack back we are just feeding a fire – yet when we remain silent that fire has no oxygen as such to keep it burning. It usually just dies down, for it runs out of the fuel (energy) needed to feed it and keep it burning and in the dying down you or I, or the person who was coming from the space of “you”, can, if they choose to, take a look at themselves in the mirror they were projecting themselves onto that is now non-responsive and just reflecting themselves back to themselves fully for them to clearly see and hear themselves.   This then becomes a huge gift for the attacking or blaming person to take a long hard look at their own projections, insecurities, justifications, stories, fears and emotional re-actions should they choose to do so.

A very useful thing I work on keeping in mind, which I have been working on for years and no it doesn’t always happen in all situations, is to NOT respond automatically to anything at all when I am feeling a strong emotional re-action to what has been projected with a “you” attack or via an emotional re-action I myself may have that I am projecting. I’ve found it is far more revealing when I stop and ask myself – What is this REALLY about? Why am I feeling this way? With every answer that comes to me I question it further and further until I find the gift in it for me to learn from.  I have also often found that those answers will come by way of a sleeping dream.

I always find there is a nugget of truth and a gift I am able to see in the mirror hanging on the wall in front of me who, from my perception, has been attacking me or who I have subconsciously been projecting my own stuff onto. Sometimes that nugget of truth has been an article such as this one, a poster I have created or that I have realised I needed to create better boundaries, respect my Self more, see clearer the wounds another is carrying, or the truth about another their projections are revealing.  Sometimes I need to take a closer look at my own wounds, distance myself from folk until they do look at their stuff and come back later or work through my own stuff alone, see how my words or actions have impacted on another or if need be walk totally away from another for this life time so they can deal with their own stuff that I no longer have the time, patience or energy to deal with if I am constantly met with rudeness and barriers when trying to sort an issue out.

This non-reactive business and learning to come from a space of response rather than automatic re-action has taken me a LOT of years’ work to get more of a handle on as up until not so long ago the not so peaceful warrior in me would come to the fore if warranted with a sword and shred an attacker to pieces verbally in one form or another.  That part of me has been known to be quite lethal and often folk have not known what’s hit them when I do allow that part of me to emerge and take flight when I feel I have been pushed too far or another has pushed someone else too far who I care about.

Perhaps as I am getting older I am actually getting wiser and whilst I have known for a long time how very much I enjoy peace and quiet without all the drama of youth and re-active projections coming from myself or at me from people of all ages, I am seeing another dimension to that old phrase – Silence is golden.  In so many situations I am seeing silence holds way more power, peace, learning and gifts than bringing out my warrior’s sword via an emotionally re-active tongue or mind,  expressed in person or via a keyboard.

My grandmother, bless her, in her attempts to get me to see this truth over the years I was growing up whilst she was still alive, when I would be ranting and raving about something or the other would often say to me – You’ll catch more flies with honey than you will with vinegar Cheryl.   Funny thing about that was she wasn’t always known for her diplomacy and tact and vinegar was often her unconsciously chosen medicine to dish out to others if she felt it was warranted.

I think though, whilst I have and never will qualify for the role of a diplomat, for a spade is a spade to me, not a bloodied pitch fork wrapped up in a bow, and I have an inbuilt tendency to just say it how I see it,  I finally understand exactly what she was saying.

For me at the moment vinegar has its place in my pantry and may still at times be necessary to use but I am finding more and more that honey experienced in Self-Centred, Self Aware and Self Empowered silence and peace is far sweeter, more fruitful and makes life way more enjoyable, palatable and digestible.
Cheers, Cheryl.  

Copyright. C. O’Connor.

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#Cheryl O’Connor.
#Holistic #Counsellor, Author & Writer.

* Cognitive & Body Based Counselling.
* Creative & Artistic Therapies.
* Specialising in #Dream #Analysis/#Conscious #Dreaming & #Shamanic Journeying.
* #Reiki/#Seichim Treatments & Attunements.
* Isis #Meditation.

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“The farther you enter into the Truth

The deeper it is.”

Zen Master Bankei

Colours like everything else that appears in your life, which includes your dreams, for they are not separate to your so called waking reality, do so for a reason.

The colours of the rainbow correspond to the colours of the main seven energy centres within the body known as Chakras.  It can be helpful in understanding what your dreams are telling you to know what specific colours mean for you.

For example you may dream you are wearing yellow clothing/protection for your naked vulnerable body or Self. Clothing can be symbolic of the attitudes we present to the outside world and if that were the case for you – you would therefore know that your present attitude related not only to an issue with the corresponding chakra but also to the symbolism of yellow.  Depending on everything else that occurs in your experience this information would, at the very least, give you some clues to start working with.

Whilst only you can ever know what a specific symbol or colour means for you, as a very basic guideline I present the following for your information and consideration.

Red – Base Chakra – Being grounded, passionate, sensual.  Can symbolise blood – the life force that pumps around our bodies via our intake of oxygen and it can also relate to wounds and anger. It is said that wearing red and black can be a powerful message of assertiveness but it can also unknowingly to many trigger subconsciously another’s wounds creating re-actions.

Orange – Sacral Chakra – The colour of flamboyance, tolerance, change, confidence, emotional balance, striving, happiness and of being social.

Yellow – Solar Plexus – This colour stimulates mental discrimination, discipline, organisation and its’ healing energy works on fear and can symbolise fear.

Green – Heart Chakra – Healing, growth, expansion and harmony.

Blue – Throat Chakra – Communication, truth, compassion, patience, sensitivity and contemplation.  Can sometimes relate to needing to speak your truth.

Purple – Brow Chakra – The colour of inspiration, vision and turning into the inner worlds.

White – Crown Chakra – Spirituality, Spirit, purifying, divine love and wholeness.

Pink – Is said to be associated with love.

Black – Is said to relate to the depths of the Subconscious, which some see as being our own darkness.

So, if for example I were to come across a Red Belly Black Snake as I have many times and also did recently by way of a picture someone put up on Facebook – to me that would indicate that the healing (general symbolism for Snake in its most basic form) of a subconscious wound was on its way.

In relation to the Rainbow there is an old story that the first Rainbow appeared after the great flood that covered the Earth. It was said to be “God’s” message and promise that “he” would never destroy the Earth and its people again.   It is a symbol of hope and often when there has been rain, just as we too go through emotional releasing and storms in our life, we emerge from those with hope and the sun starts to shine again.

Then there are the pot of gold at the end of the Rainbow stories along with the Rainbow Serpent stories belonging to the Indigenous folk of Australia.  There is also the story about Teewah at Fraser Island here in Australia that relates to the Coloured Sands found there.

The Native Americans also have their own stories about the Rainbow as no doubt so too do other Indigenous cultures.

The use of colour can be very therapeutic revealing much to us in relation to blockages of energy that are occurring within our bodies when used either in water colour therapy or by using different coloured cloths to make an abstract picture of what is really going on inside us when words just don’t cut it. Visualisation of breathing in certain colours, when done in a cyclic breathing sequence, can assist clearing out blockages, releasing emotions and pain and bringing life force back into all parts of our bodies.

Advances in technology have shown us that photographs can be taken which clearly show the human aura as consisting of colours also.

There is much more to colour than many of us realise and it pays to pay attention to what colours you are drawn to and what they are really telling you.

Cheers, Cheryl.

Copyright C. O’Connor 2014.



‪#‎Cheryl‬ O’Connor.
‪#‎Holistic‬ ‪#‎Counsellor‬, Author & Writer.

* Cognitive & Body Based Counselling.
* Creative & Artistic Therapies.
* Specialising in ‪#‎Dream‬ ‪#‎Analysis‬/‪#‎Conscious‬ ‪#‎Dreaming‬ & ‪#‎Shamanic‬ Journeying.
* ‪#‎Reiki‬/‪#‎Seichim‬ Treatments & Attunements.
* Isis ‪#‎Meditation‬.

Newsletter Subscription @ – All subscribers will receive a 10% discount on their first initial consultation for any of my services along with 10 pages of awesome tips and tricks to help you start deciphering the language of your Soul, your dreams, as well as the symbolism of what appears to you daily.

Website @
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Skype: cheryloconnor333

Twitter: Cheryl O’Connor@Cheoco99




chakra-chart-e1272122675785What follows is an essay  I was required to write whilst undertaking a years study in this form of counselling.   As a student and recipient of the theories and methodologies used I emerged from the year feeling like I had done 10 years worth of internal healing work.  I found it to be full of extremely empowering methods of healing and self awareness.   I am presently undertaking further counselling studies and plan on incorporating the methods taught to me as outlined here in my counselling practice with clients in due course.  I hope you enjoy the read and if you have any queries please don’t hesitate to contact me.   Cheers, Cheryl.


This method of counselling has emerged from the Anthroposophical viewpoint held by Rudolf Steiner, which sees the human being to exist as a four-fold multi-dimensional being.

The Physical Body is seen to be a map of our accumulated emotions and feelings and it is believed that there is a very definite connection between our thoughts, emotions, Spirit/Soul and physical body. (Sophia College Course Notes, 2005.)

The human body is also seen from this viewpoint to contain what is known as energy centres or chakras. Chakras are seen by some such as Steiner, Brennan (1987), White (1993), Baginski and Sharamon (1985), as centres of moving energy, which lay vertically, along the middle of the human body with a core of energy (life/breath) running through them, feeding them. This core of energy comes in through the crown chakra and goes out through the base chakra and then circulates around the body. White (1993) is of the opinion that the seven chakras, their location and basic corresponding colours are as follows:-

· Base – located in the groin area – red.
· Sacral – located in the pelvic area – orange.
· Solar Plexus – where our “gut” feelings are located – yellow.
· Heart – located in the centre of our chest – green.
· Throat – centre of the throat – blue.
· Forehead – above the nose and eyebrows in the centre of the forehead – violet.
· Crown – located at the top of our heads – white. (White,1993.)

The Energy Body is seen to be our etheric body and appears as a finer layer surrounding the physical, which also enters the physical and assists in repairing the physical body and in maintaining physical and mental health. It is also known in some cultures as the pranic, chi, or breath body. The etheric body thrives if given lots of water, good food, rhythmical activity, natural environments, lots of fresh air and sufficient sleep. (Sophia College Course Notes, 2005)

The Astral body is the main body, which stores the memories of our experiences, and it is considered to be the lower layer of mind consciousness. It is perceived that if the etheric body is weak, or weakened then the astral body pushes through it, into the physical and impacts or impinges on the physical body. The stronger the etheric body, the less likely the astral body is to impinge on the physical body and consequently the healthier the physical body is. (Sophia College Course Notes, 2005.)

The Fourth Body is seen to be the Higher Self or “I am” which is perceived to be our inner knowing, divine self or the core of who we truly are that contains the strength, courage, wisdom and tenacity to rise above our human limitations. (Sophia College Course Notes, 2005.)

However, the human body is thought to be even more complex by some such as Brennan (1987). Brennan (1987) perceives the human being to consist of seven main layers, stating:-

“The longer I worked the more layers I could perceive. The higher the layer, the more expanded my consciousness needed to be to see it.” (Brennan, 1987, p. 42)

The main seven “layers” Ms. Brennan has become aware of (Brennan, 1987, p. 148) are as follows:-

Physical body
Etheric body
Emotional body
Mental body
Astral body
Etheric Template body
Celestial body
Ketheric Template body

It is thought by Brennan (1987) that each layer has its own purpose and that each layer is associated with a particular chakra. Ruth White (1993) also claims that her work has made her aware of more energy centres within the body than is normally described.

Even though Brennan (1987) uses the term layers when describing the energetic bodies surrounding the physical body she does not perceive this to be a totally accurate description as she sees these “layers” as being:-

“a more expansive version of our self that carries within it the other, more limited forms.” (Brennan, 1987, p.43.)

According to Brennan (1987) she believes that each “layer” interpenetrates completely the one below it, including the physical and states:-

“the emotional body extends beyond the etheric and physical body.” (Brennan, 1987, p.43)

Brennan (1987) also perceives that each layer has its own purpose and that each layer is associated with a particular chakra. It is also believed in body based counselling and by Brennan (1987), White (1993), Bogainski and Sharamon (1985) all of whom work in the area of energetic healing or what has become known as Spiritual Healing or Reiki/Seichim, that each chakra resonates with a particular colour and sound.

However many “layers” or “chakras” do exist according to various individuals, one thing is clear and that is that the physical body and mind are seen by many not to be just all there is which constitutes a human being.

Causes of Ill Health

Body based counselling has in common with energetic healers such as those mentioned the same belief that ill health, disease and re-active behaviour stem from lack of breath (life force energy) in certain areas of the body due to negative imprints or wounds located in the various layers or bodies which extend beyond the physical body usually caused by suppression of emotions, fear, trauma, grief or beliefs we subconsciously hold onto about ourselves and that the body is a map by which we can ascertain where those imprints are actually impacting. (Sophia College Course Notes, 2005)

In Reiki/Seichim and also in body based counselling this impacting or imprinting is known as a wound, leakage or blockage of energy occurring within the body and when consciousness and the breath is brought into any area where there is pain subconscious memories surface and with them also emotions. In that process comes awareness and understanding of the true cause creating the symptoms of pain, illness, and irrational or re-active behaviour. Once consciousness of cause does occur a release of the negative imprint creating the situation results and once again life/breath can flow freely in that area painlessly. Once that has been achieved there also comes a sense of acceptance, well-being, peace, balance, purpose and fulfilment. (Brennan, 1987), Sophia College Course Notes, 2005), White (1993) and Gainski and Sharamon (1985).

Brennan, (1987) sees that:-

“illness is a result of imbalance” and that “imbalance is a result of forgetting who you are.” (Brennan, 1987, p. 131).

She also is of the opinion that:-

“all suffering is caused by the illusion of separateness, which generates fear and self-hatred, which eventually causes illness” (Brennan, 1987, preface)

Others such as Baginski and Sharamon (1985, Pgs. 122 & 123) see that our bodies are outward signs of inward consciousness and that:-

“each symptom is a specific message, which has to be recognized, accepted and integrated before we can get well again.” (1985 Pg. 124).

Lubeck (1995) is also of the view that before repressed parts of a person can be integrated so that healing occurs on a holistic level they need to be brought into conscious awareness.

Again one thing is clear in body based counselling and in energetic healing, rather than just applying a quick fix “band-aid” solution to a particular symptom, cause is looked for, brought into conscious awareness and released by the return of breath/life force energy, into that part of the body bringing about permanent and positive change because it is understood that symptoms will just continue to manifest in other areas of the body or in other ways of behaving if this is not the case. (Sophia College Course Notes, 2005.), (Brennan, 1987), (White,1993) and Baginski and Sharamon (1985).

Method of Healing

Body based counselling uses a variety of artistic therapies including clay to find, become aware of and release the subconscious energetic imprints hampering our lives and well-being. Movement is another component used, which allows the stepping into, gesturing of and unblocking of memories that are locked into the body at a cellular level by making the gesture of the pain and releasing that gesture from the body with sound. (Sophia College Course Notes and Lectures, 2005.)

By use of clay, water colour painting, drawing and general use of colour (Eilgenburg 2004) it becomes apparent what the shape of a pain looks like, where the breath is trapped and what colours or other resources need to be brought in to restore balance. By a very simple method known as Enter, Exit, Behold one can step into the bodily memory, obtain the information that is required, step out of it and release it. One can also use the Enter, Exit, Behold method to acquire the knowledge of what resources they need for themselves. (Sophia College Course Notes and Lectures, 2005).

This method of Enter, Exit, Behold alleviates the need to fully sink into and feel all the emotional pain or mental anguish which originally caused the imbalance or pain, which can often have a detrimental effect in that it leaves you feeling debilitated and “stuck” in the past pain of whatever trauma, grief, sense of loss or attack you once experienced, for days after or even weeks on end. (Personal experience of using this method.)

Often it is impossible for an emotion or pain to be described verbally or spoken of and working with clay brings that which cannot be spoken into manifestation in order for it to be seen and healed. Using it makes the intangible tangible and it is a very direct method of wordless communication to become more aware of, express, release and transform blockages and feelings. (Sophia College Course Notes, Lectures and personal experience, 2005.)

Client/Counsellor Relationship

When thinking of this relationship I am reminded of two phrases “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink” and “Catch a man a fish and you feed him for a day, teach him how to fish and you feed him for life”. For I see that the same principles apply when it comes to counselling full stop whether it be body based or otherwise and also energetic healing, which I perceive as being the same.

I feel it is imperative, in order for lasting change to occur, that the client have an expressed desire or wish for change to occur. That they state they do want to enter the process, that they make a conscious choice to do so and that they also take responsibility for themselves.

It is perceived that the client has all the knowledge and resources they need within them and that it is the Counsellor’s role to provide another with the safety and support needed to explore themselves more fully, guiding them to their own realizations by giving instructions, asking questions, making suggestions and giving directions, whilst teaching them how to use the tools and resources available with which to heal and strengthen themselves. (Sophia College Course Notes, Lectures 2005 and personal experience.)

Evaluating Change

Change is most apparent when we observe how a client is looking when they first present in comparison to how they leave. With body based counselling a client may come in barely breathing and be in a state of anxiety and distress. They may also present as being weighted, pushed down and lacking vitality.

A painting, drawing or clay piece completed during a session will appear very different in the before and after context of the Counsellor’s assistance. In drawings and paintings more colour will usually be present after intervention and also the second painting or drawing will have the appearance of being expanded rather than its original contraction. Change will also be apparent in the various pieces of clay work undertaken, again resulting in a more expansive, less contracted state.

The client will also be breathing much more deeply than they previously were and will present as being less anxious or overwhelmed and be feeling more self-empowered and positive. They also may appear to be a lot calmer and more at peace with themselves and they will present as being more upright, less uptight, light and expansive.

(Sophia College Course Notes, Lectures 2005 and personal experiences.)

© Cheryl O’Connor 2014 – Image sourced from internet – creator unknown.


‪#‎Cheryl‬ O’Connor.
‪#‎Holistic‬ ‪#‎Counsellor‬, Author & Writer.

* Cognitive & Body Based Counselling.
* Creative & Artistic Therapies.
* Specialising in ‪#‎Dream‬ ‪#‎Analysis‬/‪#‎Conscious‬ ‪#‎Dreaming‬ & ‪#‎Shamanic‬ Journeying.
* ‪#‎Reiki‬/‪#‎Seichim‬ Treatments & Attunements.
* Isis ‪#‎Meditation‬.

Newsletter Subscription @ – All subscribers will receive a 10% discount on their first initial consultation for any of my services along with 10 pages of awesome tips and tricks to help you start deciphering the language of your Soul, your dreams, as well as the symbolism of what appears to you daily.

Website @
My book The Promise, Skype & Email Consultations Available –

Skype: cheryloconnor333

Twitter: Cheryl O’Connor@Cheoco99