Counselling

Living In Now

It seems to me for many of us living in right here, right now is one of the greatest challenges we all face given our conditioning.  For most of us who have been brought up in western culture we think in lineal terms of past, present and future.  We think in terms of what has been, what is next, where we are going, what we want to achieve and many of us like to make plans, be organised and know what we will be doing from one moment, one hour, one day, one week to the next.  All of which really just becomes a story we tell ourselves we become attached to and often re-act to, if it doesn’t go according to our little plan or story we are creating around it all.

My mum, bless her, was the Queen of Organisation as I was growing up.  She had to be as she worked and also ran a home consisting of herself and five other people.  We all had our set jobs and times/days when they were to occur.  Her week was mapped out and ours with it, so I was brought up in a very well organised environment where we always knew what we were doing from one minute to the next, generally speaking.  Being organised and knowing what I would be doing, whilst many curved balls occurred, was rather comfortable.  I grew to see the more organised I was, the less stressed I became when I myself became a mother.  This flowed into my work and whilst I am not as rigid as my mother felt she needed to be, her influence couldn’t but help rub off on me.

Working in the legal industry for nearly three decades also reinforced my organisational skills.    For many years I too made plans and was set in an automatic daily rhythm, which gradually turned into a rut, ultimately boring me silly and sapping me of excitement and joy for life.  I also began to see that organisation, whilst it alleviated stress and helped me achieve goals, when it was out of balance and too rigid, was a form of needing to control.

As I started to become more aware and more conscious of time not really existing, of all time being now and of there only truly being one time anything can occur, that being the right time, life became easier, disappointment and emotional re-actions became less as I learned not to expect anything and I began to experience detachment to ever so much.

Less plans were made and I moved from what many of us term “going with the flow” to becoming one with the flow of life.  I became less attached to things, to people and to outcomes, more open to spontaneity and realised the most I could ever have in terms of plans in place was a very basic skeletal plan for one day at a time, no longer for a whole week and certainly not as is often asked in job interviews – where do you see yourself in 5 or 10 years time?    How can we honestly even know that?  That we put pressure on ourselves and our children with a question such as that or one like – What do you want to be/do when you grow up – is so very indicative of our cultural conditioning and it is conditioning which so very often robs us of the moment of now, along with the infinite possibilities that exist, by becoming set on a fixed direction or plan for not only our day but also our lives and anything in our lives we are wanting to achieve.  I learned the hard way that plans NEVER go according to plan.

As I moved more and more consciously into the moment of now, anything that didn’t feel right to do or wasn’t working I would let slide and move onto whatever was next for it seemed and still seems senseless to me to get myself all stressed, frustrated etc., if I am wanting to do something and everything around that thing is just not working.  I began to see how very stressed and distressed folk often become if things don’t go according to their plan and how the expectation of their plan manifesting leads to major disappointment and sometimes even angst which creates barriers to come up with other folk in their lives.  I also began to see that if something isn’t working as we want it to, it just means something else needs to fall in place which will make it even better than we thought it would be.  Until all the pieces of any puzzle are in place and until energy matches up the time is just not right for whatever to manifest in the physical.  Often too if we want to do something and it just isn’t happening, we are actually being protected.

I “thought” I had “got” this whole it’s okay to have a skeletal plan and to just be one with the flow of life, being fully present in each moment without any thought of what was next, to do list and calendar in place so I wouldn’t forget anything important which needed to be done, as it all seemed to be working just fine and dandy, until this week.

I was in a situation where communication hadn’t happened effectively and I didn’t know what it was I was “supposed” to be doing next.  I started re-acting as I’d been told one thing, which suddenly changed and now I was floundering and getting frustrated.  I was also totally confused.  This lack of organisation wasn’t sitting well with me and I could feel myself starting to get really annoyed as my head told the story of how it would be so much better if communication had of been clear from the outset which would have alleviated my thinking I was doing this thing, then suddenly I was doing something entirely different, that I wasn’t really expecting or prepared for.   It was all pushing me out of my own little comfort zone, what little there is left of it.

Along came the wisdom of another and the lesson they were giving me.  Seriously what did it really matter what I was doing next?  Just because I “thought” I was going to be doing one thing which then changed and I was clueless and confused, who was really creating that confusion?  The person who had not as far as I was concerned communicated effectively?  Or me for having a story in my head of what I thought I would be doing next, which was pushing me into future, into an emotional re-action and out of being fully present in the moment?

I couldn’t help but laugh at the simplicity of the wisdom, the lesson or the very effective way in which this other person had actually taught me this lesson of all that is truly needed by any of us, is to just show up, do whatever is needed in the moment and truly enjoy each and every moment of now without any thought of what is next.

 

Cheers, Cheryl.

© Cheryl O’Connor 2015.

•*´☾☆☽`*•

Get your free Dreamwork Booklet at bit.ly/CheocoNews when you sign up for my monthly Newsletter. Cheers, Cheryl.

#Cheryl O’Connor. #Cheoco
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RECONNECTING WITH OUR INNER CHILD

Within the confines of being told we have to “grow up,” we lose ever so much. Our conditioning is such that as children we begin to learn to fear the world and just about everything and everyone in it, hearing more often “don’t,” than “do.”

The inner child begins to shut down and off to a world that was once magical, full of adventure, imagination, play, fun, beauty, excitement and sheer delight. Just watch any child as they start to explore the world – all is new and exciting. The feel of grass underfoot, the raindrops dripping, the love of singing, dance, water play, mud, creativity and laughter just because they are happy and want to have fun.

When expressing anger or frustration they are often told don’t behave like that and are these days sent to the naughty corner. When parents fear they will fall from the tree they are climbing or fear whatever else they do, or tell them what they experience is not “real,” when they are taught to seek approval from others at such a young age, are told things about themselves and the world by adults they fully believe because the adults said so, are yelled at, hit, abused and so it goes on, all that joy, excitement and sheer delight with just the pure magic of being alive seems to disappear. Lost and seemingly gone forever as life becomes nothing more than a “job” full of adult responsibilities, concerns, worries, anxiety, conformity and fear which then leads to illness, addiction, depression, reckless behaviour, more abuse and sadly in some situations the taking of one’s own life.

I was once told as a child, only children can enter “The Kingdom of Heaven.” This terrified me at that time because I figured once I became an adult – straight to “Hell” I would go, forever. In many ways, we do go to Hell though because due to the adult behaviour around us and the beliefs and projections which shape us we lose conscious awareness of all that is childlike.  Yet we are also told we need to be childlike to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.

The ability to make friends easily, to trust, to have fun unless we are drunk, stoned or participating in other activities that bring momentary pleasure from outside ourselves all goes. If we were feeling joyous and broke out in song on the morning train commute, for example, we would be given strange looks like something was “wrong” with us. So we conform, we play the game the adults around us play and we do indeed lose a huge part of ourselves along the way.  Many become miserable and bitter, negative, resentful, spiteful, manipulative, greedy, needy, liars and haters who try to desperately control others around them. Each day becomes a chore to drag oneself through and many literally start looking like robotic walking dead.

For myself I had to “grow up” very quickly, leaving home at only 14, and life for me became a matter of survival for many decades. Survive I did, ever so much, but it was just that – surviving, not thriving.

We speak of “The Journey Home” and how we are all on the same journey back to conscious awareness of all we once knew before it was shut down because of fear and conformity.  For myself, it took decades of Self work and inner child work to reach where I am at within myself now, which feels like “home” to me

Some of the tools I used along the way which can help are:

  • Pay attention to what your dreams and daily synchronicity are telling you.   If you don’t know – learn.
  • Spend time alone in nature.
  • Use your dominant writing hand to ask your inner child a question, swap hands and wait for the answer to be written.  Go with the very first thing that comes, do NOT think oooh that’s just nonsense.
  • Do not doubt what others told you was “just your imagination” – whatever you experience is real for you because it is YOUR experience.
  • Try to remember things you used to LOVE to do as a child and MAKE time to do them on a regular basis.
  • Run with your gut feelings about anything and everything – don’t pay attention to your logical doubts and fears which have been instilled in you by others.
  • Pay attention to any memories or feelings that come – especially those which create an emotional reaction and ask yourself “Where is this TRULY coming from?”  Wait patiently for the answer to come to you.
  • Parent your own inner child.  Most of our inner children are scared, lost, angry, hurt and confused and often feel like they have been abandoned, which they have been. Mine was SO angry and hurt it took months of solid work for her to even feel safe enough again to just start dialoguing with me.
  • Don’t blame, hate or punish your parents for the damage done – they did the best they could with the awareness they had, they still are and at some stage we all have to actually accept responsibility for ourselves and start to parent our own inner child.

As a child, I wanted desperately to live “Somewhere over the Rainbow.” It was however quite literally a journey into,  through and out the other side of Hell to follow my own yellow brick road, but it was worth every single step to reach “home” and the “Kingdom of Heaven.” That isn’t some place in the sky as so many of us were told it was, but is within each of us and fully accessible to all of us by reconnecting with our own inner child.

Cheers, Cheryl.

© Cheryl O’Connor 2014.

•*´☾☆☽`*•

Get your free Dreamwork Booklet at bit.ly/CheocoNews when you sign up for my monthly Newsletter. Cheers, Cheryl.

#Cheryl O’Connor. #Cheoco
#Holistic #Counsellor, #Author & #Writer.

* #Cognitive & Body Based #Counselling.
* #Creative & #Artistic #Therapies.
* Specialising in #Dream #Analysis, #Conscious #Dreaming & #Shamanic #Journeying.
* #Reiki #Seichim #Treatments & #Attunements.
* #Isis #Meditation.

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Are we truly busy?

“The most common thing I hear folk say these days when asked how they are is “Busy”.

Today’s technology was essentially designed to make things easier, give us all more “time” and yet it appears to me it has failed to do that.  If anything we all seem to be way busier than we were a couple of decades ago, with seemingly never-ending to-do lists, copious emails that flood our inboxes, umpteen “notifications” by way of social media, errands to run and so it goes on. This influx of things to be attended to is often overwhelming and creates stress, for we are now living in a time where we think we need to attend to ever so much immediately.
I’ve been pondering this standard comment we all seem to be giving these days of I’m busy or you are busy.  I have a huge variety of activities in my life simply because I do not do boring and mundane well at all and abhor being stuck in any sort of rut.  Variety is indeed my spice in life and to have any two days spent doing exactly the same thing is my worst case scenario.  Many interpret that as me being busy.
I spoke in my last article about living in NOW.  Such a hard thing for so many of us to achieve and yet, once you do get the hang of it, it is very easy.  As I looked back on all my years of being unconsciously busy, rushing here and there, achieving this and that, the stress that comes with always being busy and the many comments I hear of “busy” I had an epiphany of sorts.  When we are fully present in right here and now “busy” is totally eliminated.  How so?
Well, I saw that busyness lives in our heads and only occurs when we move out of now and think “a head” too far.  Often we become overwhelmed with how much we think we need to do or must do, which in fact, we are all choosing to do for no-one is making us do anything.  When we are so busy we miss the moment of now for always we are thinking I need to do this, then that, then that and on it goes, usually ticking things off either in our heads or lists as we go. Often not even fully focussed on whatever it is we are doing right now, due to thoughts of once this is done then the next thing needs to be done.
I also saw that much stress lies in the busyness of our minds and the things we choose to do that we perceive “make” us all so busy.  I saw that being in the moment of now with absolutely no thought of what is next until I got to what is next, does indeed and quite miraculously not create a feeling of being busy at all.   As I was pondering this whole busy aspect of life, another crossed my path who shared that we create busy to avoid being in now.  Synchronicity?  Well of course.
When we live in each moment of now, fully, we are just being and we are all essentially, beings, not doings. Many think we have to go and have a vacation and do absolutely nothing to avoid the stress of being busy, to wind down and “get away from it all”.
Personally I find life far more interesting, way less stress full and not at all busy, to just do the things I feel I want and need to do, when I want and need to do them. I also find that things don’t go “wrong”, I don’t hit brick walls nor do I experience any of the elements that once brought frustration, stress, major muck-ups, accidents or rushing around like a lunatic when I am just focussed on and fully present in NOW.   Another miraculous aspect of living in NOW – I have more “time”.
Try it, you may just be very surprised by what happens when you stop thinking “a head” and actually become one with the flow of life.
Cheers, C.

INTERVIEW WITH COREY POIRIER – CONVERSATIONS WITH PASSION!

Hi folks, if you missed the Interview I and other very inspiring members of The Wellness Universe participated in, you can have a listen here.  Radio Interview with Corey Poirier

Many thanks to Corey and The Wellness Universe founders and members for all they are doing and bringing into the world.

Love and Peace to all – Cheers, C.

Copyright. C. O’Connor.

Grab your free copy of my Dreamwork Booklet at http://bit.ly/CheocoNews when you sign up for my monthly Newsletter.

*´☾☆☽`*•

#Cheryl O’Connor.
#Holistic #Counsellor, Author & Writer.

* Cognitive & Body Based Counselling.
* Creative & Artistic Therapies.
* Specialising in #Dream #Analysis/#Conscious #Dreaming & #Shamanic Journeying.
* #Reiki/#Seichim Treatments & Attunements.
* Isis #Meditation.

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ADDICTION FROM A SHAMANIC VIEWPOINT

It is becoming clearer to many that addiction is a disease or illness, not a choice we consciously make that we should be punished for. God knows we punish ourselves and suffer enough in this life without “society” and law makers punishing us further simply because we are not well. A very long time ago I read that all disease could be seen as dis-ease i.e. not being at ease or at peace with ourselves. So is addiction to anything actually really just dis-ease? The roots of which lay in learned behaviour?

Addiction is, from my perception, certainly a symptom of a far deeper cause than that which lays on the behavioural, psychological and physiological surface.  Western medicine primarily always looks at symptoms and what can be seen, attempts to treat that solely usually with chemicals or surgery and rarely does it look for causes that to the naked or microscopic eye are unseen. Yet when we find and heal cause within ourselves of physical symptoms, dis-ease, or behaviour we do not find acceptable, would like to not be experiencing or are subconsciously participating in, the symptoms just simply no longer exist. From birth we are taught to seek outside ourselves for what we need to make us feel good – love, encouragement, nurturing, guidance, cuddles, belief in ourselves etc.

As the child of an alcoholic step-father and cigarette smoking mother their addictions became learned behaviour for me so it stood to reason that as they were the two main ways in which I was shown adults behaved and coped with whatever they were trying to cope with, that I would naturally follow in their footsteps. As a teenager from about 14 onwards after a rape situation occurred I began to consume cigarettes. Not long after when I left home due to the situation I was living in there, I began to consume alcohol and drugs to the point I damn near killed myself. Surviving on little food, drugs, cigarettes, coffee and alcohol was not at all healthy, nor was it a good mix, reducing my weight so dramatically after six months, the only clothes I could wear were size 16 children’s clothing and I was so unwell that not even my own mother recognised me.

I didn’t feel that anyone cared about me, so why should I care? What did it really matter whether I lived or not? All I wanted to do was have a good time and feel better. I did not want, at all, to feel the pain and sadness of not feeling loved, cared for, cared about or understood, of being hit, yelled at, controlled, nor the fear of the alcoholic induced, often physical, arguments and abuse I had been living with since about 6 years of age on a regular and totally unpredictable basis.

To say I, like so many people in this world, grew up in a dysfunctional environment is putting it mildly. My consumption of alcohol, drugs and cigarettes lessened for a short while after another whose love for me quite literally saved my life by showing me they were the only person in my life who did care which gave me the gift of hope and I once again started ingesting regular meals.   I then slid back into copious ingesting of drugs, alcohol and cigarettes whenever I got the opportunity to do so after I was involved in a fatal car accident at 17 in which the young man I had been living with for six months was killed. Back in those days there was no counselling available like there is now.

There was also no funeral and no grave for this young man who lost his life to a drunk driver at only 23 years of age. I was seriously injured and it took a good six months for me to learn how to walk again. The only words I heard at the time from my step-father were “Write down how much pain you are in each day so we can get more money.” The only people in my family who even said they were sorry I had been injured and this young man had died was my mother and one of my step-brothers.   For everyone else in my immediate circle it seemed to me to be a case of suck it up buttercup and just get on with your life.

Drugs, cigarettes and alcohol became my friends, they numbed me from feeling all that was going on inside me. They distracted me and they became my “pain killers”, my “feel good medicine” of choice because I simply had no knowledge of other coping skills I could utilise. The catch being, as all addicts know, is that once we start down this path our brains and our bodies tell us we need more and more “feel good medicine” and “pain killers” to maintain that feel good state of being, to actually cope and survive, to not feel all that pain, anger, grief and sadness living within us that is so very real and raw and it is a very slippery slope we travel until eventually we either kill our bodies or our lives fall apart so badly we hit rock bottom.

We have two choices if we actually do survive and hit rock bottom, continue as we have done and physically die, or trawl the depths and start to bounce back from what feels like the bottomless black hole we have been sucked into that also very much feels like a literal hell or nightmare there often seems to be no escaping from.   Thankfully I was one who chose to trawl the depths and bounce back when in 1992 at 28 I was again faced with my own impending physical death.

What I came to understand as I started to walk the path of the Shaman which was a path that at the time I had no clue I was even walking, was that I, like so many other folk in this world, was actually experiencing what in Shamanic terms is known as Soul loss.

Soul loss can best be described as us becoming like the walking dead, merely surviving, not living and thriving as was intended, simply because who we truly are is not fully present in our bodies.  Parts of us that have not wanted to feel grief, trauma, fear, shock, loss or pain have fragmented off into the subconscious abyss and in very simple terms it is like we are not fully at home in our bodies when we are ingesting substances or distracting ourselves with addictive behaviours or by external means in order to make us feel better or not feel our pain. It is literally like we have huge energetic holes in us, great gaping wounds that we defend, need others to fill, or don’t want to feel the pain of because they are so raw and we are so very vulnerable.

These energetic holes we have, we attempt to fill with external substances or means which consequentially then just make our bodies and our minds very sick indeed. We behave in ways not previously known to us once we start on the road of addiction and it is also not behaviour that those close to us know from us as being “normal”. How many times does the drunken or high person just not seem to be themselves? It is like we become totally different people, often aggressive, angry, totally uncaring and hurtful towards others simply because we are hurting and we just don’t give a damn. We become harmful to ourselves and others and we often have absolutely no memory the next day of our behaviour.

Our behaviour however is NOT us, it is a symptom or cover up if you like hiding whatever we have experienced or been conditioned to believe. How many times does the drunken or drugged person lash out in Jekyll and Hyde fashion?   You never really know what to expect but you just know that who you know that person to be is no longer present in the body in front of you.   This is because we are definitely NOT ourselves at all. Who we truly are is no longer contained in our bodies. What primarily happens with ingesting alcohol and drugs is that when who we truly are checks out of our bodies it’s like an empty house and other “darker” energies with perhaps not so good intentions take over.   This may seem like a very strange and far-fetched concept to many but perhaps for those who have lived it, seen it in others, you will know precisely what I am referring to.

So… how do we heal these gaps and holes we try to fill by external means? How do we stop this happening? How do we change our behaviour? How do we become fully present in our bodies and become whole, well and healthy again?   There is only one way I personally found and that was firstly to make a decision I didn’t want to be that way any longer given that I was so out of control at times, often very re-active, aggressive, defensive, angry, miserable, depressed and more times than not, suicidal.

I did not do the whole re-hab thing, nor did I do AA or have any other types of support in place similar to those, I just said enough when I was faced with my own impending physical death, for the fear of death at 28, which I no longer carry, put the wind up me, literally, and I prayed like I had never prayed in my life prior to be free of it all and to feel nothing but peace, love and acceptance within me.

What ensued was 10 solid years of feeling ever so much grief, trauma, pain, confusion and sadness as I firstly turned to alternative therapies to help heal my body because all the doctors I saw over a six month period all said there was nothing wrong with me – here have some Prozac, meanwhile my body was shutting down more and more each day.   I uncovered and discovered all my physical symptoms were due to constant abuse and unfelt emotions, which I also discovered did not just come from this lifetime but past lifetime experiences as well, all of which had resulted in symptoms associated with having a blocked small intestine and kidneys that were barely working.

I trusted all I was drawn to and underwent attunement to Reiki/Seichim, learnt how to work with my dreams, attended many courses, began walking, meditations and yoga, ate better, studied for two Diplomas in Counselling, one Holistic, one standard that also included some alternative modalities. I read all I could get my hands on, discovering along the way many fragmented parts of me, along with many gifts and skills I never even knew existed within me. Gradually my addictions abated but always there is work to be done.

Physical pains were always linked in with emotional pain, the true cause and source of which came to me either via dreaming or during meditations (which is really the same state of consciousness) and it truly was only in the fully feeling of ALL the emotions that bubbled up from within me and by integrating/re-membering i.e. bringing into being, the fragmented parts of me I re-connected with in The Dreaming, that eventually there was peace. I came to see that time did not exist as we know it to exist, that past definitely has an impact on the present until we heal it by fully feeling it and releasing it (shutting the door on it and just saying past is past, forget it and get on with your life, simply does not work) and that the emotions which came with memories or in the dreaming, meditations etc., were just energy passing through.

Rather than numbing those emotions, once felt and released, with each and every process of integration and release, a strength, love, acceptance, understanding and peace began filling me up like nothing I had ever experienced before. There is an old saying you may have heard of – The cup must be emptied before it can be filled.   This was certainly the case for me and I began to live by the motto which Jamie Sams brought into the world “To feel is to heal.”

Emotional pain is the LAST thing any of us want to feel – we do everything we can to avoid it yet it is only in feeling it, that we truly do heal it and are free of it. Was it easy work?   Definitely not.   Was it lonely work? It certainly was. Was it worth it? Without a doubt. For I learnt the hard way that no matter what I chose to ingest that was external to me, no matter how much I sought love and acceptance externally from others, no matter what I did to feel “better”, and no matter how “strong” I had been to just carry on Columbus and survive it all, the real strength came when I turned fully inward to find, eventually, all I needed was already inside me for me the love, peace, wisdom, knowing and acceptance I was seeking only came when I paid attention to what my dreams and daily life were showing me and what my memories and emotions were telling me about myself and about life. As I uncovered who I truly was I also discovered there would never be a need again for me to re-cover my Self.

To free ourselves from addiction is a huge undertaking as there is so much in this world we can become attached and addicted to. It is however achievable if we have the courage, faith and trust needed to turn inward, face our fears, grief, pain and trauma, feel it all fully and be free of it once and for all. Many of us are so busy telling our stories, which whilst important, does not enable us to actually feel the emotion contained in those stories for our stories come from our heads.

No-one can do this work for us, it is something we all must do for ourselves for it is only in doing for Self that we become more Self-aware, more Self responsible, heal and become more Self empowered. It is not at all selfish to do this work for it brings about self-centeredness, balance, peace, love, acceptance, respect for all life and an awareness of our wholeness with all life, like nothing else we have ever experienced can, all of which is then reflected back to us in the world.

The choice whether we do this work or not is entirely ours to make. We can keep going as we have been or we can quite literally turn our whole world and reality around by coming from the inside out and in doing so move out of the nightmare of externalism, blame, victim mentality, attack, defence and addiction.

Much love and peace to all.

Cheers, Cheryl.

Copyright. C. O’Connor.

Grab your free copy of my Dreamwork Booklet at http://bit.ly/CheocoNews when you sign up for my monthly Newsletter.

*´☾☆☽`*•

#Cheryl O’Connor.
#Holistic #Counsellor, Author & Writer.

* Cognitive & Body Based Counselling.
* Creative & Artistic Therapies.
* Specialising in #Dream #Analysis/#Conscious #Dreaming & #Shamanic Journeying.
* #Reiki/#Seichim Treatments & Attunements.
* Isis #Meditation.

Website @ http://www.cheocoenterprises.com

My book The Promise, Skype & Email Consultations Available – bit.ly/Cheocoshop

Facebook: http://bit.ly/FBCheoco
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Image credit: Pixabay.

Is “Constructive Criticism” really Constructive ?

One of the most common human behaviours I am privy to not only where others are concerned but within myself over the years and still even now it slips in at times despite my best conscious efforts not to go there, is that of being critical.

It’s SO easy to be critical because that is our conditioning. It astounds me that we actually have an economic industry of “critics” who get paid to go and see, listen to, or experience others creative endeavours and “critique” them which they then feel it necessary to publish. If the creative persons interpretation of something they have gone to experience isn’t in line with the critics perception – too bad so sad they receive a “bad” review that ripples out to others and has a domino effect which can limit severely the amount of folk who go and see or experience it for themselves and decide whether they enjoy it or not, based purely on what someone else says. It is also often the case that many who are standing in the wings and not even involving themselves in something or aren’t even aware of what is REALLY going on, on the stage, take it upon themselves to be critical of what the ones on the stage are doing, in all areas of life. Yet we all perceive and do things differently.

Just watch any group of people for e.g. in an art class – all can be looking at the same tree which they are to paint and yet every single painting each creates will be totally different not only to the tree given as an example, but to each others trees. How truly miraculous is that?! Yet so often in so many situations another will say no that’s not how you do it, you “NEED” to do it this way. How so and who says so?

Everything we do is an act of unique creation so how can it be that we have fallen into this trap of being so critical and judgmental? We seem to live in a society that is full of competition and judgement which starts not long after birth. It’s rampant in our schools, in politics, in sports, in workplaces, it’s persistent in those “Women’s” magazines where celebrities are criticised for just about everything from wearing a pair of track pants out to the local shop to having their hair done a certain way. In more recent times on television screens and other media it is also rampant by way of “reality” shows where folk compete against each other to reach a temporary status of “winner” and being labelled “the best”. The label being given to them by “judges” who are really only just sharing their perception of another’s “performance” in a given moment. Yet that perception in that moment of being “judged” can absolutely crush another’s dream and devastate the person who isn’t given the label of “the winner.”

It’s so often the case that if folk don’t do things the way we think they should be done or how we ourselves would do them rarely do we stop to ask questions. Instead, out of our heads and mouths, usually automatically, will come all sorts of “stuff” that is judgmental and critical which perhaps whilst not consciously meaning to do harm, does – just like the critic who published their opinion.

This has been disguised to make it more palatable in recent times by being labelled “constructive criticism”. I personally don’t understand how any criticism is “constructive” – giving and receiving honest and respectful feedback however is a totally different ball game. Words float around all the time about not judging others, about “loving” and accepting yourself and others as they are and hey if those others are rattling your cage with a big stick no worries just shrug it off and walk away – not always that easy though is it?

Phrases have long been within the minds of humanity along the lines of – Don’t judge another lest you be judged; Don’t be so busy pulling the splinter out of someone else’s eye that you can’t see the lump of wood in your own; People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones; Let he who is without sin cast the first stone; He who points a finger at another will find three pointing back at him, and on it goes.

When people bring forth their best endeavours, ideas and passions to create a more peaceful, love filled, tolerant and respectful world for all, they have often landed up being persecuted, imprisoned, harshly criticised or dead for their efforts for what they are doing or saying. Why? Have we all really become so arrogant as to think that there is only one way to see or do something, our way? Further down the track when it is often way too late, others begin to see what the person was doing and saying with more clarity and then those who were working solidly to create change are treated as heroes, legends or saints.

Sadly they are often no longer even alive by the time the rest of society catches up. It’s often the case that a person or people with “vision” will see much that others clearly do not yet see and due to their passion to manifest that “vision” they run with it whole heartedly, only to be continually met by others trying to pick to pieces what they are doing. What exactly does that achieve I wonder, besides perhaps maybe making the picker feel good about themselves in some bizarre way, like they are “better” than the one who has gotten off their butt, stopped whinging about a situation, and is actually doing something to change that situation for the better, not just for themselves but more importantly for others.

On the flipside to this we have all this information and push occurring about not bullying, teamwork, collaboration etc., and yet many of the so-called political “leaders” in this world are still coming out of the mental and emotional framework of Ego, criticism, one upmanship, bullying tactics, abuse and judgement even though we are given examples time and time again of what actually happens when we ALL work together to achieve something. Is that I wonder part of the reason why “natural disasters” occur, so that we can more consciously become aware of the part of our nature that is supportive, kind, empathetic, loving and compassionate? Collaboration NOT competition will get us ALL wherever we are wanting to go way faster than if we spend our time and energy constantly being judgemental and critical of what others in this world are doing and bickering amongst ourselves about whatever.

Someone close to me has a beautiful expression they often use which I love – The world would be a better place if everyone minded their own business. This person does not mean that we should not care about each other or support each other, they mean that each and every person (unless they are incapacitated in some way) is fully capable of doing whatever it is they need to do for themselves and that we would all live in a better world if we were ALL working together and supporting each other, not wasting our precious time and lives in these temporary physical bodies, trying to tear others down whilst our Egos climb whatever ladder to success they decide to climb, ripping people off or ripping them to shreds, gossiping, judging, undermining and criticising them, telling them they are “wrong” or giving them “advice” when it hasn’t even been asked for.

This person is also referring to those situations where we are doing something and another comes along and takes over because in the other’s eyes we are not doing “it” right. They are of the opinion that this unintentionally diminishes the person who was doing it their own way and shows disrespect. Quite simply humanity has created the present mess in this world, no-one else, and no-one is coming to “save” us, or the planet. The Politicians don’t give a hoot for they cannot see what many of us can clearly see and we are ALL simply just going to have to pull our big girl and boy knickers up clear out our own muck and heal our wounds, so we stop projecting it all onto others if we want anything at all to change.

The time of separation – of you, me, us, them, right, wrong, greed, slavery to jobs that just create nothing but stress and sickness to all life on this planet is coming to an end. Honestly can you actually even begin to imagine how much more we would ALL achieve in this world if the amount of time, money and energy we spent on sticking our noses into other folks business, being critical and judgemental, bickering or gossiping about this, that and the other was actually spent on creating the type of world we not only want to live in but pass on to our children and grandchildren?

It has always been said that our children are our future and whilst I was a child I really didn’t have a say in the future I would be living in. I was often told by my Grandfather though you can achieve anything you want to in this world and so far all I have set out to achieve I have accomplished but there is still more, so much more I want to achieve. Now that I am living in the future I was told about as a child, as a mature aged woman, it is not at all the future I envisioned it could be but I can have a say now and I am so very passionate and driven about doing everything in my power, by collaborating, not competing with others, via The Wellness Universe, other initiatives and with folk who are near and dear to me, to assist in creating the future I did envision as a child that I want to pass on to my children and grandchildren. A world where there is full collaboration, peace, love, understanding, respect for all life, compassion, gratitude, joy, beauty and creative vision and as John Lennon once said, “You may say I’m a Dreamer but I’m not the only one. I hope someday you’ll join us and the world will BE as one”.

I may never get to see a world like the one I envision but that doesn’t mean for a second I can’t and won’t do whatever I can to help create it. We are ALL in this world together regardless of our social status, gender, sexual preferences, financial situation, religion or religious beliefs, varying skin colours, ages etc., It doesn’t matter diddly squat what job we do that we label with a name or how well known or not known we are in the world, and for the sake of all the children, grandchildren and generations yet to come into this world, I truly do hope and yes I even pray (even though I am not for once second “religious”) that we ALL start spending way more time collaborating and supporting each other to create a better world than the one we have been left with by those who came before us, than we have been and often do spend criticising and judging each other.
Cheers, C.

Copyright. C. O’Connor.

Grab your free copy of my Dreamwork Booklet at http://bit.ly/CheocoNews when you sign up for my monthly Newsletter.

*´☾☆☽`*•

#Cheryl O’Connor.
#Holistic #Counsellor, Author & Writer.

* Cognitive & Body Based Counselling.
* Creative & Artistic Therapies.
* Specialising in #Dream #Analysis/#Conscious #Dreaming & #Shamanic Journeying.
* #Reiki/#Seichim Treatments & Attunements.
* Isis #Meditation.

Website @ http://www.cheocoenterprises.com

My book The Promise, Skype & Email Consultations Available – bit.ly/Cheocoshop

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MIRROR MIRROR ON THE WALL

One of the most powerful words any of us can ever learn to use when we are communicating with others, besides no, is I.

For some folk that may seem an odd thing to say as it could be read that I am referring to being selfish – far from it.  There is a massive difference between being selfish and being self-centred and self-empowered.

What I have noticed consistently in my life, as I have observed interactions occurring between myself and others and between others, is that whenever “you” statements occur in a conversation as in “you have”, “you do”, “you do not”, “you are”, “you need to”, “you should” or “you must” etc., we are not coming from a space of Self-centred response, empowerment, love, peace or balance.

Ten times out of ten we are actually in the midst of a totally non thought about re-action (re-acting out an old subconscious behavioural pattern) as we busily, rudely, loudly and usually quite angrily fly off the handle and into another, not at all aware that we are projecting our own shadow and that which we do not see, or perhaps don’t want to see, hear or take responsibility for, within ourselves or about ourselves, onto another.

Whenever I hear “you” this or that, either from another or coming out of my own mouth or head in an attacking way my warning system rings a very loud alarm that screams like the robot from Lost in Space – Warning, Warning, Warning, Danger Will Robinson, Danger and the word “projection” blasts into my awareness. (Yes I know I am showing my age.)

One of the greatest challenges I personally face every single day are my own reality checks I feel compelled to make in relation to what I put out for others to read or not read, their choice, in terms of posters or articles.  If I personally am not living the truth of what I am putting out in my interactions behind the scenes – I want to know about it because often the folk closest to me in my life see me clearer than I can see myself.

I therefore have several folk who help me keep a check on that because I have specifically asked them to point that kind of thing out to me as it is so very easy to create words that others can resonate with, relate to, be motivated or inspired by but if my interactions with others behind the scenes of those posters or articles are not congruent with the words I am putting out, they hold no value to me, or you, the reader, whatsoever.

They would just be hollow meaningless hypocritical jibber jabber at the core. They would have no depth, truth or substance and would not be coming from a space of integrity, they would just be nothing but noise created to add to an already often very noisy world wide web full of information, opinions, stories, perceptions, re-actions and responses.

When we become self-aware enough to stop using “you” and come instead from a space of Self-centred peace, a desire to understand, response and love, in a balanced way and therefore state instead “I think”, “I feel”, “it appears to me”, “I am”, “from my perception”, “for me” etc., we ARE taking full responsibility for whatever is going on for us, within us, emotionally or cognitively. We are NOT projecting our own “stuff” onto anyone else, nor are we are blaming others for our own experience.   We are also not coming from a space of attack or defence, but a state of Self-aware empowered response.

Often when folk attack, for whatever reasons they are justifying in their own heads with whatever story they have created for themselves and fully believe, it is not only hurtful, it can sometimes be downright spiteful or misleading and it can often get very ugly very quickly, for the one attacked, quite rightly, feels a need to defend, explain, justify, attack back etc., and the result then often is a situation where more misunderstanding occurs due to intensifying energy building up and going back and forth in defence/attack/attack/defence style a bit like a tennis volley that just gets louder, more re-active and quicker as it gains momentum.

If we automatically re-act and attack or re-act to an attack and put ourselves in a situation upon being attacked where we do defend, justify and attack back we are just feeding a fire – yet when we remain silent that fire has no oxygen as such to keep it burning. It usually just dies down, for it runs out of the fuel (energy) needed to feed it and keep it burning and in the dying down you or I, or the person who was coming from the space of “you”, can, if they choose to, take a look at themselves in the mirror they were projecting themselves onto that is now non-responsive and just reflecting themselves back to themselves fully for them to clearly see and hear themselves.   This then becomes a huge gift for the attacking or blaming person to take a long hard look at their own projections, insecurities, justifications, stories, fears and emotional re-actions should they choose to do so.

A very useful thing I work on keeping in mind, which I have been working on for years and no it doesn’t always happen in all situations, is to NOT respond automatically to anything at all when I am feeling a strong emotional re-action to what has been projected with a “you” attack or via an emotional re-action I myself may have that I am projecting. I’ve found it is far more revealing when I stop and ask myself – What is this REALLY about? Why am I feeling this way? With every answer that comes to me I question it further and further until I find the gift in it for me to learn from.  I have also often found that those answers will come by way of a sleeping dream.

I always find there is a nugget of truth and a gift I am able to see in the mirror hanging on the wall in front of me who, from my perception, has been attacking me or who I have subconsciously been projecting my own stuff onto. Sometimes that nugget of truth has been an article such as this one, a poster I have created or that I have realised I needed to create better boundaries, respect my Self more, see clearer the wounds another is carrying, or the truth about another their projections are revealing.  Sometimes I need to take a closer look at my own wounds, distance myself from folk until they do look at their stuff and come back later or work through my own stuff alone, see how my words or actions have impacted on another or if need be walk totally away from another for this life time so they can deal with their own stuff that I no longer have the time, patience or energy to deal with if I am constantly met with rudeness and barriers when trying to sort an issue out.

This non-reactive business and learning to come from a space of response rather than automatic re-action has taken me a LOT of years’ work to get more of a handle on as up until not so long ago the not so peaceful warrior in me would come to the fore if warranted with a sword and shred an attacker to pieces verbally in one form or another.  That part of me has been known to be quite lethal and often folk have not known what’s hit them when I do allow that part of me to emerge and take flight when I feel I have been pushed too far or another has pushed someone else too far who I care about.

Perhaps as I am getting older I am actually getting wiser and whilst I have known for a long time how very much I enjoy peace and quiet without all the drama of youth and re-active projections coming from myself or at me from people of all ages, I am seeing another dimension to that old phrase – Silence is golden.  In so many situations I am seeing silence holds way more power, peace, learning and gifts than bringing out my warrior’s sword via an emotionally re-active tongue or mind,  expressed in person or via a keyboard.

My grandmother, bless her, in her attempts to get me to see this truth over the years I was growing up whilst she was still alive, when I would be ranting and raving about something or the other would often say to me – You’ll catch more flies with honey than you will with vinegar Cheryl.   Funny thing about that was she wasn’t always known for her diplomacy and tact and vinegar was often her unconsciously chosen medicine to dish out to others if she felt it was warranted.

I think though, whilst I have and never will qualify for the role of a diplomat, for a spade is a spade to me, not a bloodied pitch fork wrapped up in a bow, and I have an inbuilt tendency to just say it how I see it,  I finally understand exactly what she was saying.

For me at the moment vinegar has its place in my pantry and may still at times be necessary to use but I am finding more and more that honey experienced in Self-Centred, Self Aware and Self Empowered silence and peace is far sweeter, more fruitful and makes life way more enjoyable, palatable and digestible.
Cheers, Cheryl.  

Copyright. C. O’Connor.

Grab your free copy of my Dreamwork Booklet at http://bit.ly/CheocoNews when you sign up for my monthly Newsletter.

*´☾☆☽`*•

#Cheryl O’Connor.
#Holistic #Counsellor, Author & Writer.

* Cognitive & Body Based Counselling.
* Creative & Artistic Therapies.
* Specialising in #Dream #Analysis/#Conscious #Dreaming & #Shamanic Journeying.
* #Reiki/#Seichim Treatments & Attunements.
* Isis #Meditation.

Website @ http://www.cheocoenterprises.com

My book The Promise, Skype & Email Consultations Available – bit.ly/Cheocoshop

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Image credit: Pixabay.

FEAR BASED CONDITIONING

We all come with abundant courage, trust and love into this world. We trust all our needs will be taken care of and as a very young child privileged to grow up in what folk call “the modern/civilised world” we do not worry where the next meal will come from. Clothes are given to us as is food, we have beds to sleep in and rooves over our heads and really we want for nothing, quite content to, in my day, go outside and play, weather permitting and imagine all sorts of things whilst having grand adventures in nature. So where does all that trust, courage and love go to as we get older?

From my perception it gets shut down by a blanket of fear based conditioning. Tiny piece by tiny piece it starts to be smothered by statements the adults in our lives make of “Don’t you fall from there”, “You be careful you don’t choke on that”, “You’ll break your arm if you climb that tree”, “Don’t run with scissors, you’ll injure yourself”, “Don’t play with that knife you will cut yourself”, “Don’t speak to ANYONE you don’t know already,” “Don’t you behave like that”, “Don’t be so noisy”, and on and on it goes with the don’t, don’t, don’t – when do we ever hear do, be, trust yourself, you can do that, you are strong, smart, caring, helpful ?

When do we hear you are beautiful, you are capable, all you need lays within yourself? When in the midst of an emotional release does a parent just allow that release to occur without trying to control the behaviour or telling the child to stop crying and use their words? How can anyone speak when they are in the midst of releasing emotional energy like grief, frustration or anger particularly if they have been brought up with being told they are stupid or a sook for expressing themselves or have had their self- expression squashed in other ways?

Constantly we are shut down from doing and from being who we truly are until like sheep we just become one of the herd baaing constantly with our complaints of this or that or verbally attacking or defending, or gossiping about others, making judgements and accusations, giving advice we were not asked to give, seeking outside ourselves for what we think we need.

That is NOT living, that is merely existing. We become so numb and non-present in our bodies we are like the walking dead, literally, because life becomes so boring.    Heaven forbid we should express joy or laughter in quiet spaces like lifts or whilst hemmed into office cubicles or at functions where we have to remain “dignified” and silent.

I recall once one of my children being ever so embarrassed whilst out simply because I was listening to and feeling the music of some drummers and my body started moving to the beat of the drumming. How is that we have created a culture where we are embarrassed by Self-expression with something as beautiful as appreciating another’s musical ability and moving with the flow of that music?

How often do we hear – “Leave your personal stuff at home, don’t let it impact on your productivity here at work” or the reverse “Leave your work at work”. Since when is it truly possible for any human being to just flick a switch within themselves and turn off like a machine from what is going on in their life be it at home or at work just because some man made device with numbers on it says it is time to?

In order to cope with it all we land up self-medicating, hanging out for that drink at the end of the day or that cigarette on our break, both of which we then become addicted to, or worse we take other substances to “make” us feel better which then create more problems for us, or we become ill and dis-eased simply because our Soul has become so bored with it all. Just watch commuters on a train who day in day out, do the same thing over and over again, they become like robots just going through the motions.   So many folk just hang in there for the weekend or for a holiday to escape it all and then their thinking is, shame that’s over now I have to go back to reality and the grind of it all.  That grind of it all IS your life.

How many folk are SO relieved when Friday hits – many it would seem for it is not uncommon to see or hear these days TGIF or when Wednesday hits it is commonly known now as hump day as we are all on the downhill run to two days where we can do what we actually want to do with our lives, how sad.    And seriously, what a WASTE of a life!

We are not here to be machines, to just constantly produce and make money to buy things or make other folk rich, none of which we can take with us anyway which some poor sod only has to sort out, distribute or sell or even worse still have arguments with remaining family members about it all, when we leave our physical bodies. So many of us have been brought up with the ethos of you have to study hard, do well at school, get a good job, get married, have children, get yourself into debt with a mortgage to own your own home, buy that flash car or whatever, which then ties you to that job you hate even more because that is, according to our fear based conditioning the best way for you to be successful in life. In the meantime you miss out on precious time with family and with yourself and then by the time you are “allowed” to retire you are, generally speaking, too old or too ill to actually enjoy any of it.

If you don’t have a job for whatever reason you are considered to be a bludger and if you fall outside the box regarding any of those things it is deemed there is something wrong with you by many. So much fear based rubbish is fed to us from such a young age it’s no wonder we are not all puking it back up on the side walk as in a robotic like trance we exist and fool ourselves into thinking this is how life just is. We even treat each other often like a commodity or a possession – you give me this and I’ll give you that, or you “can’t” do this or that, or even worse still as I recently heard on the radio, some young woman had separated from her partner and the news reader’s comment was …… and bla de bla is back on the market again….., referring to her like she was just some piece of meat for sale, I wasn’t aware we had markets for women these days in this culture.

I also recall once when I was ill from having pulled several weeks of 19 hour days, without proper lunch breaks or having the energy to eat of an evening when I finally got home, an offer to walk me to the doctor as I didn’t know where it was, during which walk, when I said thank you I heard returned “Well I have to look after my investment”. I was shocked, is that all I was – an investment?   That prompted me to start thinking well perhaps it is truly time I started to more fully invest in myself.  So blessings to he who said that and thank you.

Life is truly not about ANY of this fear based bollocks and constant robotic production/consumerism. Life is an abundant ever flowing creation and whatever we need will manifest, just as it did when we were children. How many times have doors been closed in your face only for new ones to open?   How many times have really cruddy things happened that a bit later further down the track you can see the blessings in? We came into this life to create, for we are all creators and we are all the manifestation of Creation itself, with our thoughts, actions and words, we are not here to create a living hell for each other or the planet and bleat like sheep being pushed through a corral at shearing time. To become so desensitised to the atrocities in this world which humans inflict upon life on this planet that we just turn a blind eye to them or we do not get angry or sad about them.

How many people do you know who are actually in touch with their own passions, gifts, talents, skills and belief in themselves to such an extent that they know exactly what their purpose is in life, what they are here to do and who actually have the courage to break free of the boxes and just do it? What stops most folk from swimming the depths within themselves and pulling up the abundant treasures they contain which will enable them to do that which they love to do, not that which they feel they have to do? Fear, pure and simple.

Fear based conditioning that has been spoon fed to us since we were in diapers. We fear our pain, we fear the unknown, we fear the dark, we fear the light, we fear change, we fear not having a “job”, we fear life, we fear not having a home, we fear not having an income, we fear not being loved, we fear doing the Self work that would eliminate all the fear and all the pain and all the suffering. We fear death, we fear rejection, we fear loss, we fear illness, we even fear fear. Many miss their departed loved ones and yet become fear full should those loved ones make their presence known.

My goodness is there much in this world that we don’t fear given all we have been told and taken on as beliefs? Our heads are often terrified with whatever they conjure up and yet rarely do the fears we create in our own heads ever become a physical reality. At the end of the day in each and every single moment of life and even in death we are all absolutely fine.

Death is not something to fear, it is merely a transition from one state of being to another, just because we may not have a body any longer does not mean we do not exist. Personally I reckon once you move through your fear of death there really is nothing left to fear but by jingoes our fear based conditioning has a LOT to answer for because NONE of it is actually how life truly is and can be for ever so many of us. I saw a post a while ago on Facebook which I believe said something like:

F alse

E vidence

A ppearing

R eal ………   and that is precisely what fear is, an energy that squashes and conforms and stifles ever so much joy, love, peace, wisdom, self-confidence, self-expression and trust in this world.

If it is time you threw your fear blanket off, or started to remove it piece by piece, just as it was created for you to wear, untangling all the strands of it that have been woven around you so you can start to truly live your life as it was intended you live it with love, joy, abundance, excitement and passion – I have in my tool kit a pair of scissors I can loan you and many different ways in which I can assist you to untangle it.

Cheers, C.

Copyright – C. O’Connor 2015.

•*´☾☆☽`*•

#Cheryl O’Connor.

#Holistic #Counsellor, Author & Writer.

* Cognitive & Body Based Counselling.

* Creative & Artistic Therapies.

* Specialising in #Dream #Analysis/#Conscious #Dreaming & #Shamanic Journeying.

* #Reiki/#Seichim Treatments & Attunements.

* #Isis #Meditation.

* Proud member of The Wellness Universe – www.TheWellnessUniverse.com #‎WUVIP

Newsletter Subscription @ bit.ly/CheocoNews – All subscribers will receive a 10% discount on their first initial consultation for any of my services along with 33 awesome tips and tricks to help you start deciphering your dreams, as well as the symbolism of what appears to you daily.
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I HAVE MOVED

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We’ve all heard that old saying one door shuts and another opens and it was very much the situation for me this past week.

The same week my contract with Earthlee Angel Therapies at Burpengary came to an end and I chose not to renew it,  I was gifted with the offer of using the space of the Signal Room which is part of the Railway Station, located in the South West corner of the Park at Old Petrie Town, North Pine Country Park, Dayboro Road, Kurwongbah by my lovely friend and family member, who has always been supportive of me and my work since the first day I walked into his Gallery in the park some 20 years ago now, Mr  Terry Saleh, Spiritual Artist and Healer of Terry Saleh Art Global Enterprises.

The Railway Station was originally North Pine Station, opened in 1888 and it served as a Cobb & Co Station and Railway Station for over a century.  It was later re-named Petrie Station after pioneer Tom Petrie.  In 1992 it was moved to the park and it was officially re-opened by The Honourable Leneen Forde AC, Governor General of Queensland at the time in 1993.

With the help of my Warrior Woman mum, in less than 24 hours over a two day period, we cleaned and transformed the inside of the building and set it up for me to start practicing in as of this Sunday.

To have a space of my own to work from and create the Steiner Based Dolls and Toys in is just the most blessed gift I could have received this coming Easter.  No longer will I need to cart boxes of materials and supplies constantly, loading and unloading my ute, or having craft materials scattered throughout my house which is where I have been making the dolls and toys from.  Absolutely chuffed, excited and delighted is the only words close to how I was feeling when I accepted Terry’s offer.   Filled with awe inspiring gratitude when I sat quietly in the space on my own yesterday also comes somewhat close to that experience.

Please note change of availability with this move starting this Easter Sunday:

Sunday:  8am to 1pm  you will find me in the Signal Room.

Monday to Wednesday: 9am to 3pm at the Signal Room or at Lawnton.

If you would like to make an appointment please send me an email at cheoco99@yahoo.com.au

I have a vision in my head of things I  would like to do with the space in due course but really didn’t think we could get it ready as quickly as we have done, so I am pretty darn pleased with the transformation so far.   If you are passing by or just want to come and say hi – you are most welcome to do so, have a cuppa with me and lap up the peace and beauty of this space whilst you are at it.

Cheers and for those who celebrate it – Many Blessings for your Easter too.

Cheryl.

 

Celebrating the growth of Cheoco since 2012 and 2,000 Facebook Likes – THANK YOU!

Whenever we are busy creating anything we sometimes forget just how much we have already achieved. What started at the market when my work contract ended as offering folk some Dream Analysis and selling a very small amount of stock I had of the Dolls and Toys has, as I look back, grown considerably.

I now have much more stock and have moved from using a small fold up card table to acquiring 5 x 4ft tables and a 6 ft table. We have a marquee and I made the very colourful Cheoco Banner. We also acquired items for the table like baskets and little dolls houses. We then moved from outside the Gallery into the School House and I acquired two other premises to work out of late last year, Lawnton and Burpengary. In between all this I re-wrote a book and studied to receive my Diploma in Counselling as well as did much behind the scenes that I won’t go into here. I was also accepted last year for a scholarship to participate in a 6 month in-depth course with Robert Moss.

I have attended three events now – the Samford Valley Steiner School festiValley which is a bi-annual event we have also been invited to attend this year, the Handmade Expo and the Health & Harmony Expo last weekend in Caboolture. I have applied to attend several more this year as well.

I have created a website, set up the WordPress site, sourced suppliers for craft materials, created well over a 1,000 posters, written copious articles, been asked to do 2 radio interviews and I have been very busy behind the scenes networking on Social Media. As a result I became a member of The Wellness Universe. I have also had my articles and posters published on various websites and Facebook Pages.   I have worked on putting policies and procedures in place for my counselling practice and also for the purchasing/ordering of the dolls and toys, I’ve organised insurance, designed brochures, flyers and business cards and large banners and posters and as recently as this past week whilst my contract with Earthlee Angel Therapies ended at Burpengary and I won’t be renewing it, I have been offered my own space/shop front to work from. SO EXCITING and I will share more about that with you in due course.

It’s been quite a couple of very busy years and whilst I have been working with folk for a very long time in relation to Dreams and Reiki/Seichim part time, it has been and still is the most wonderful feeling to wake each and every morning inspired, excited and raring to go.

Whilst some days I may put in up to a 21 hour day like I did before the last Expo, to see a thought and a love and passion go from being a tiny little card table with a few items on it, into what I have been creating with the help of not only my Mum, who is a massive blessing in my life, but also my son and one other very important person, my son’s Uncle the lovely Terry Saleh, who without his love and support for some 20 years now, none of it would have ever happened or be happening, is not a feeling I can put into words.

To all who have supported me and who support my work on various social media platforms with your shares, your likes, your comments and suggestions, your sharing of information you find etc., big hugs and much love coming at you. THANK YOU ALL SO VERY MUCH – Cheers and have a wonder full weekend folks. C.

FORGIVENESS – IS IT REALLY NECESSARY?

Like many I was brought up with a belief that it was necessary to forgive others who I perceived created trauma, heartbreak, grief etc., for me and were hurtful and/or abusive towards me. There were many to forgive in my life and I saw the only way to find peace and acceptance within myself was to do the inner work, feel the pain, shock, trauma etc., and to literally “let it go” and in doing so forgiveness came.

Letting go doesn’t appear to me to occur just in the mind by thinking you should let it go or trying not to think about it, if something is coming into your mind it does so for a reason and for myself letting go only occurs with releasing the energy of whatever emotions have been stored within the body and subconscious from the experience that haven’t yet been fully felt. This combined with “Forgive them for they know not what they do”, which had been drummed into my head as a child, all worked fine and dandy until recently.

There is much written about the necessity of forgiveness and for a while I saw forgiveness as being for giving to self and others.  That worked too for me but as we are all works in progress “stuff” comes up and into our awareness and we also gain more insight and understanding as “time” goes on, becoming more and more conscious.   Things we may have thought 10 – 20 years ago for example no longer apply to so many of us for we are forever evolving and learning. For myself I’ve always been learning, growing and changing and may I never stop doing so.   Much I was sharing some 20 years ago with folk, who thought I was nuts, is now very common to read or over hear being said.

An event had occurred in my life way back that bubbled up emotionally yet again for me to explore.   Of all the events in my life I would have to say that this particular one has had the greatest impact on my life and my heart since it occurred. Many say the past is in the past so just move on, forget about it, let it go, that whatever just wasn’t meant to be and I have always struggled with that concept particularly around this specific incident for I am very aware that past, present and future all exist in now and that the energy of what we label past has a huge impact on ever so many of us.

If it didn’t cultural traditions for better and sometimes yes for worse would not be handed down, people would no longer re-act to things others say and do, there would be no need for “protection” by way of the military or arms and so it goes on.   How often for example does it occur that we have a gut re-action of anxiety, fear, defensiveness or attack, which is purely based on a past experience that is merely being triggered by a present situation?

This particular event in my life is one that wounded my heart very, very deeply. It is not something I will ever forget. It has been something that I have just had to learn to live with and allow the grief to surface and be released as and when it needs to be and so as I found myself re-visiting it yet again, as we do when something is so traumatic and overwhelming that to process it all in one hit is just way too much to cope with, I had the thought and feeling that I needed to forgive behaviour which I found totally manipulative and one of the worst behaviours imaginable to me. Forgiveness had come easily with ever so many folk yet with this particular event I was struggling big time.

I could see the gifts that had been received from the event as my journey through life would never have been what it was if things had of been different and there were ever so many gifts and so much to be grateful for.   Yet forgiveness just was not coming and I started beating myself up about it not coming.   Dreams were indicating that something really yuck and awful was on its way out and physically I became ill for two weeks with flu like symptoms as I was processing it all. My bones ached to the very core of them and I just had to shut down and off to sleep, dream and rest my body.

I then stumbled across a poster that Mena of Mena Canonico DARE to be REAL had shared on Facebook and it was along the lines of there being no need for forgiveness unless we see ourselves as a victim. A light bulb went on for me in the moment of reading that poster and the truth tingles ran rapidly through my body. I was SO delighted to have this come my way as it made perfect sense to me of why I had not for a second been able to feel forgiveness towards others who had created so much grief for me and for another, with their manipulative lies. It was indeed to my heart and head an unforgiveable act of manipulation and certainly not something I would or will ever forget or forgive.

It did however send me off on a tangent at a young age that without the gift of it I never would have taken.   I could clearly see that at a Soul level if you like my path was just meant to be what it was and that these particular people had played their roles beautifully in ensuring I stay on track in order to achieve what I was here to do for myself in terms of healing and learning so that ultimately I could provide a safe, nurturing, validating and sacred space for others to explore themselves in.

Mena’s poster was a life changer for me because it is so very true that when we can see the lessons and gifts, can feel gratitude for all we have experienced and do experience, the good, the bad and the ugly, we gain acceptance and peace and we learn that truly there is nothing to forgive ourselves or anyone else for when you know with every cell of your being that you are NOT a victim, that you chose at some part of you to experience what you did and do experience for your own growth and learning.

This then led to another conversation with a longstanding and very dear friend about blame and judgement and we concluded for now that those too are all part of the Victim mentality. Of things being done “to” us rather than us taking responsibility for our part in the experience and seeing that nothing is ever done “to” us without our consent and permission at some level for we do indeed choose to participate in whatever we experience for our own development and evolution.

There is also much talk about forgiving yourself – for what exactly? For learning, for growing, for becoming the person you have become or are still becoming due to your lessons and experiences? What is there really to forgive yourself for? Why not just work on loving and being proud of yourself instead for being so brave and courageous to choose to experience ever so much that we all do here to ourselves and others, usually in ignorance, in this physical world.

Cheers, Cheryl.

Copyright – C. O’Connor 2015.

•*´☾☆☽`*•

#Cheryl O’Connor.

#Holistic #Counsellor, Author & Writer.

* Cognitive & Body Based Counselling.

* Creative & Artistic Therapies.

* Specialising in #Dream #Analysis/#Conscious #Dreaming & #Shamanic Journeying.

* #Reiki/#Seichim Treatments & Attunements.

* #Isis #Meditation.

* Proud member of The Wellness Universe – www.TheWellnessUniverse.com #‎WUVIP

Newsletter Subscription @ bit.ly/CheocoNews – All subscribers will receive a 10% discount on their first initial consultation for any of my services along with 33 awesome tips and tricks to help you start deciphering your dreams, as well as the symbolism of what appears to you daily.
My book The Promise, Skype & Email Consultations Available – bit.ly/Cheocoshop

LIZARD – KEEPER OF DREAMS

It is said that Lizard dwells in the Dreamtime. Lizard sees very clearly in The Dreaming that which lays ahead as can we and well … to be forewarned is to be forearmed.

Lizard lives in the Shadow where our dreams occur prior to them manifesting. Our Shadow is part of us and can include our hopes, our fears, our limitations, our past and our future all of which essentially follow us around, just as our own physical shadows do.

Whenever Lizard appears it is prudent to have a look at what may be following you around within you and it most certainly is, for me, always a sign to pay closer attention to any dreams I experience or any symbols that come my way in what we call dreaming or when I am not in that conscious space and am instead in what we call being awake in this logical, rational, physical space.

I cannot EVER over emphasise the importance of paying attention to our dreams, they are crucial to our growth and understanding not only of ourselves but of life itself. When we work with our dreams, with symbols that appear to us in either state of consciousness, which life provides freely to all, an enormous wealth of wisdom, truth, peace, love and simplicity opens up to us.

Lizard can also be sending us a message that we may need to sleep, dream, imagine more than we have been. If you are experiencing nightmares either in the physical or non-physical states of awareness these are usually signs of inner conflict.

Another message from Lizard is that we could be lacking “dreams” for our future. It speaks of finding and embracing new experiences and can also be a warning that we are dreaming too much and not acting on the internal guidance we are all freely given by manifesting our “dreams” for our lives in the physical reality.

So Lizard very generally speaking, whenever it appears, is for me, all about our internal state and is a warning sign to pay close attention to what is going on inside us by way of our dreams, waking scenarios, thoughts, feelings and creations we would like to manifest in our lives.

As with ALL symbols what something means to each is based on their own experiences and gut feelings.
 Copyright – C. O’Connor 2014.

•*´☾☆☽`*•

#Cheryl O’Connor.
#Holistic #Counsellor, Author & Writer.

* Cognitive & Body Based Counselling.
* Creative & Artistic Therapies.
* Specialising in #Dream #Analysis/#Conscious #Dreaming & #Shamanic Journeying.
* #Reiki/#Seichim Treatments & Attunements.
* #Isis #Meditation.

* Proud member of The Wellness Universe – www.TheWellnessUniverse.com
#‎WUVIP

Newsletter Subscription @ bit.ly/CheocoNews – All subscribers will receive a 10% discount on their first initial consultation for any of my services along with 33 awesome tips and tricks to help you start deciphering the language of your Soul, your dreams, as well as the symbolism of what appears to you daily.
Website @ www.cheocoenterprises.com
My book The Promise, Skype & Email Consultations Available – bit.ly/Cheocoshop

HEALING PARENTAL WOUNDS

We all know children do not come with instructions and that we receive no prior “training” in order to become a parent yet for any other job or activity we undertake there is a period of learning before we are deemed “qualified”.   It is very much a learn as you go experience and no-one can really tell you how to do what ultimately becomes the biggest task in your life, nurturing, being responsible for, guiding and teaching another person to an age and a stage where they can and do look after themselves totally and are totally responsible for themselves and their lives.

In times gone past a tribe would be involved in the upbringing of the young ones, then we moved to large family units being involved in their raising but more and more over time we have moved to the reality of just one or perhaps two people taking on this mammoth task of raising young folk and for many who are in pursuit of obtaining adequate housing and lifestyle that is in keeping with the “societal” standard more and more parents are working full time, mostly to pay off debt they incur to live the societal lifestyle standard, whilst leaving their child in another’s care who they do not really know but who has apparently received adequate training in caring for children.

It has me a bit baffled that in order to leave a child in another’s care in day care centres those others have to undergo a lot of training, cannot turn up to work drunk, cannot be abusive emotionally, mentally, physically or sexually, and yet we parents undergo absolutely no such training, nor do we have to meet such criteria.  Our training is usually on the job, in the moment learning.

For others such as single parents it is also often the case that they simply must work in order to keep a roof over their and their children’s heads, clothes on everyone’s back, pay the bills and have food on the table.

It’s a huge task being a parent, often tiring and often stressful as we juggle work and family commitments all the time just winging it as we go.  We all do the best we can with the awareness we have at any given time and really cannot expect much more than that from ourselves, given our lack of preparedness and training for the job.

Many children, like myself, grew up in environments where alcohol abuse, used as a medicine for coping with whatever stresses were being experienced, was common.  We also grew up in an era where copping a flogging was the norm, being told not to behave in certain ways when we got angry, thereby squashing down our emotions or were projected onto by unresolved issues our parents had etc., and today much of what we grew up with would be considered child abuse.

Many of us grew up with wounds being inflicted upon us by our parents behaviour and lack of self-awareness, lack of ability to cope and in dysfunctional families, and many children still are growing up in similar environments being yelled at, put down, living with alcohol or drug addicted or abusive adults, being treated in ways that no doubt are creating wounds for them and forming patterns of behaviour which their parents are handing down to them, just as those who came before them have unconsciously done.

For myself the most mammoth task of parenting came when I would say or do things and think oohh my goodness that is not me, not really, that is my mother.  My first born was a catalyst for me to become aware of and heal many wounds that had been inflicted on me as a child and for that I will always be ever so grateful to her.  In the process though there were wounds unconsciously inflicted on her by me as I juggled full time work, often getting up at 3.30am and not getting back to bed until 9 – 10 o’clock at night.  I was not in a position for several years where I could just not work, it was a necessity to our survival and yes it was exhausting.  The only support available to me at the time was that provided by the day care centre she attended and some assistance from my own grandparents.  For myself I have been working full time 90% of the time since I was a young teenager.

I was not the type of mother who would leave my child and later children on their own and go out clubbing or pubbing.  I did not bring an endless stream of men home nor did I drink alcohol or wipe myself out on drugs.  My child/children have always lived in nice, clean, lovely homes, always been well dressed, never gone without a meal or anything they have really needed.  Luxuries have never really existed and there are many things I would have liked to have done for them or with them but just had no money or time to do those but yes good budget management has no doubt been learned along with many other necessary skills.  There has been the odd holiday here or there locally but for the most part the past 25 years of my life, being an 80% of the time solo parent, has been devoted to raising two children whilst doing all that needs doing at home as well as working mostly full time with just the odd break to that here and there.   Was I a perfect mother, far from it and I never will be.

I spent 10 years in and out of depression and on a mammoth journey to rid myself of all that was no longer serving me or making me happy, whilst going through what is known as a Spiritual Crisis.  I worked solidly on healing the wounds which had been inflicted on me by my parents –  abandonment, abuse, alcoholism and essentially I did the very best I could do given my situation and my need to be responsible for myself and my child/children, just as my parents had done before me.   It wasn’t until I stopped focussing on the self indulgent hard done by mentality and started digging into my parents stories that I uncovered the why of how they had behaved towards me.  I came to realise, with age, that no matter what a parent does for a child, teaches a child to do for themselves, no childhood is EVER going to be perfectly how we as children would like it to be.

I am 50 now, still raising one child on my own and I have two grand-daughters.  For the past two years since a work contract ended I have been working my butt off, often up to 18 hours a day, 7 days a week to study so I have the mainstream qualifications necessary to tie up in a neat bow that which I love to do whilst also establishing a business out of what I love to do, not just doing any longer what I have felt I have needed to do to survive since I walked out of home at 14.  My whole parental life has been a situation of my children are part of my life but they are not my whole entire life as I saw ever so many women whilst I was growing up who made their children their entire life and then once the children had left the nest, as children rightly do, they were lost and had no sense of identity other than being someone’s Mum.

One of the greatest gifts given to me on this journey was seeing how patterns of behaviour have been passed down through the generations and how at some point in every child’s life it is a totally necessary part of growing up and taking responsibility for themselves that they do whatever is needed to also heal the wounds their parents unconsciously inflicted on them and learn to totally stand on their own two feet.   That they cease to blame or accuse their parent/s for whatever they feel or think the parent has or hasn’t done which is not to their liking.

It is said children choose us, we do not choose them and from my experiences with my children that was very much the situation.  Children come through us, they do not belong to us.  We give them the gift of life out of love, what they ultimately do with that life is entirely up to them but there must come a point in all our lives where we stop attacking, blaming and getting our knickers in a twist because our parents didn’t or don’t do what we believe as children or even as adults they “should” do now or should have done way back when, or what we expect them to do.   We all at some stage reach the point where we simply have to start parenting ourselves.  When we love others, truly love them, we have no expectations of them.  We don’t chuck hissy fits at them, nor do we ignore them or be rude to them simply because they are not doing what we think they should be doing or what we want them to do.

Many children these days seem to expect that their parents, after they have raised them and they have children of their own should be there to constantly offer support and guidance and to look after grand-children whilst they go off and do whatever.  Guess what kiddies, many of us grandparents are tired having raised our own families and whilst many of us dearly love our grandchildren and enjoy spending time with them, we have reached an age where we also enjoy our quiet time, when we can get it.

We don’t have the energy we once had nor do we much have the tolerance for noise we used to have.  Life moves, finally, at a bit of a slower pace for us and we have learnt the hard way that having expectations of anyone is just a recipe for heartache and disappointment.   We can no longer be bothered engaging ourselves in the dramas of youth either with your relationship issues and we live very much in the moment of now for we know there truly is no guarantee of tomorrow for any of us.  We’ve learnt that whilst having goals is essential if we are to create and achieve what we would like to experience in life, it is futile making set in cement plans.  Plans rarely ever turn out how we plan and so we move more easily in the flow of life rather than constantly battling with that flow.  Our emotional life has become much more stable, we don’t suffer the highs and lows that we did like a pendulum at full pelt swinging from one extreme to another at a younger age and if things pan out according to skeletal plans made they do, if they don’t we don’t get in a fluster about any of it much anymore.

We all come here to learn and grow, not to have everyone do what we think they should do.  We come here to experience ever so much and we cannot ever expect that one person is going to be able to give us all we need.  As I have always said to my two – you have one father and mother but if you are really lucky you will meet many who will fulfil the gaps in those roles because neither I nor your father will EVER be able to give you all you need or want.

So regardless of our ages if we haven’t yet healed our parental wounds we are still acting out of them with barriers and defence mechanisms and having re-actions rather than responses towards our parents and also towards others.  We all have them, there is no escaping them but ultimately at the end of the day it is OUR responsibility to heal them, not our parent’s responsibility to do that for us, nor can we blame them for what we think or feel, nor the lessons we have chosen to come here and learn which they have so beautifully provided for us to learn by giving us the ultimate gift, the gift of life.

Cheers, Cheryl.

Copyright C. O’Connor 2014.

Image sourced from Pixabay.

 

•*´☾☆☽`*•

‪#‎Cheryl‬ O’Connor.
‪#‎Holistic‬ ‪#‎Counsellor‬, Author & Writer.

* Cognitive & Body Based Counselling.
* Creative & Artistic Therapies.
* Specialising in ‪#‎Dream‬ ‪#‎Analysis‬/‪#‎Conscious‬ ‪#‎Dreaming‬ & ‪#‎Shamanic‬ Journeying.
* ‪#‎Reiki‬/‪#‎Seichim‬ Treatments & Attunements.
* Isis ‪#‎Meditation‬.

Newsletter Subscription @ bit.ly/CheocoNews – All subscribers will receive a 10% discount on their first initial consultation for any of my services along with 10 pages of awesome tips and tricks to help you start deciphering the language of your Soul, your dreams, as well as the symbolism of what appears to you daily.

Website @ www.cheocoenterprises.com
My book The Promise, Skype & Email Consultations Available – bit.ly/Cheocoshop

FB: https://www.facebook.com/cheocoenterprises
Skype: cheryloconnor333

Twitter: Cheryl O’Connor@Cheoco99
Email: cheoco99@yahoo.com.au

SPIDER – Weaving the Web of Life.

Not everyone’s favourite critter and certainly not mine BUT Spider is symbolic of much. Spider is said to have woven the first primordial alphabet. So can be about writing. Spider speaks of our connection to all that exists in the world wide (universal) web. Spider’s body is shaped like a figure 8 – symbol for DNA and her 8 legs are said to symbolise the four directions and the four winds of change.Spider can be a warning message to not get caught up in our own illusions of ourselves and the physical world. Spider is also about creating and her web is said to represent the wheel of life to which we are all bound.

She can be a warning to not get caught up in the polarities of good and bad and a reminder that we can create anything we want to in our lives. Spider, like ourselves is always creating and it is prudent to be mindful of what exactly we are creating for ourselves without getting caught up in the web of our own delusions.

She can also be a reminder for us to not get so tangled up in our own webs of destructiveness and criticism when it comes to our relationships with others. For some Spiders will indeed kill and eat their own partners. Copyright C. O’Connor 2014.

•*´☾☆☽`*•

‪#‎Cheryl‬ O’Connor.
‪#‎Holistic‬ ‪#‎Counsellor‬, Author & Writer.

* Cognitive & Body Based Counselling.
* Creative & Artistic Therapies.
* Specialising in ‪#‎Dream‬ ‪#‎Analysis‬/‪#‎Conscious‬ ‪#‎Dreaming‬ & ‪#‎Shamanic‬ Journeying.
* ‪#‎Reiki‬/‪#‎Seichim‬ Treatments & Attunements.
* Isis ‪#‎Meditation‬.

Newsletter Subscription @ bit.ly/CheocoNews – All subscribers will receive a 10% discount on their first initial consultation for any of my services along with 10 pages of awesome tips and tricks to help you start deciphering the language of your Soul, your dreams, as well as the symbolism of what appears to you daily.

Website @ www.cheocoenterprises.com
My book The Promise, Skype & Email Consultations Available – bit.ly/Cheocoshop

FB: https://www.facebook.com/cheocoenterprises
Skype: cheryloconnor333

Twitter: Cheryl O’Connor@Cheoco99
Email: cheoco99@yahoo.com.au

PUTTING OURSELVES BACK TOGETHER AGAIN

Over time as we have been growing up our cultural conditioning, the trauma, abuse and the energy of fear we have all endured causes us as we truly are to shut down and protect ourselves from further wounding.

Parts of us during such events fragment into the abyss of our subconscious in order that we survive. These fragmented parts create re-actions and energetic barriers with others, rather than responses, as often we behave in ways we know really isn’t us.

It is only by re-membering (bringing back into the membrane of our being – our conscious awareness and our bodies so the energy can be transformed through the physical body, for there appears to be no other way to do it but re-member/feel it) these fragmented parts of Self which split off that we were either too terrified to feel or did not want to feel the trauma, grief, sadness, pain etc., of, that we truly become whole again and realise our innate connection with all that exists.

Some refer to this as negative energy, darkness etc. but it is all part of the whole of who we truly are.

Once re-membered, felt and transformed, instead of Beings filled with holes which we self-medicate to fill, or we use others to fill the gaps with, or by putting up the barriers we do which push others away in order to protect our wounds, the core of who we all truly are comes more and more to the fore.

It is in The Dreaming where we have access to these fragmented parts of Self and as they are re-membered and felt, they also no longer create blockages of energy within our bodies which make us ill and dis-eased (not being at ease with our Selves) for what is often split off from our conscious awareness is actually stored in our bodies – we all become a bit like clogged drains which once cleared out life force energy is free to flow through us again.

The Dreaming is an altered state of consciousness that some refer to as dreams, astral travelling, conscious dreaming, Shamanic Journeying, past life regression, Spirit World, psychic ability etc., It is basically all one space/area of consciousness that we all have access to when our consciousness is not focussed in the physical body and is also experienced during meditation, in imagining and in memories of images and feelings that come to us. When we “drift” in a light “sleep” is also the space of The Dreaming and in that space all time is now. There simply is no past or future as we have been conditioned to believe there is and we do have access to both what we call past and future in this space.

We can never change the past but what I realised we can do is change the re-actions and behaviours we had in the past, not just in this life time but in past life times, so that they are no longer impacting on us, our relationships and our lives now.

By working with any dreams we experience in what we term sleep, when our consciousness comes back into the physical body, or by treating any re-active situation we have, just as we would if working with a dream we can change our re-active behaviours, heal our wounds and navigate our lives and the many processes we all go through ever so much easier.

*******
If you would like to experience Dreaming consciously I am holding a Workshop on the 27th of September and I am also available for private sessions of Conscious Dreaming and Skype or Email assistance with getting to the bottom of what a dream really means to you.

© Cheryl O’Connor 2014.

•*´☾☆☽`*•

‪#‎Cheryl‬ O’Connor.
‪#‎Holistic‬ ‪#‎Counsellor‬, Author & Writer.

* Cognitive & Body Based Counselling.
* Creative & Artistic Therapies.
* Specialising in ‪#‎Dream‬ ‪#‎Analysis‬/‪#‎Conscious‬ ‪#‎Dreaming‬ & ‪#‎Shamanic‬ Journeying.
* ‪#‎Reiki‬/‪#‎Seichim‬ Treatments & Attunements.
* Isis ‪#‎Meditation‬.

Newsletter Subscription @ bit.ly/CheocoNews – All subscribers will receive a 10% discount on their first initial consultation for any of my services along with 10 pages of awesome tips and tricks to help you start deciphering the language of your Soul, your dreams, as well as the symbolism of what appears to you daily.

Website @ www.cheocoenterprises.com
My book The Promise, Skype & Email Consultations Available – bit.ly/Cheocoshop

FB: https://www.facebook.com/cheocoenterprises
Skype: cheryloconnor333

Twitter: Cheryl O’Connor@Cheoco99
Email: cheoco99@yahoo.com.au

KILLER STRESS

Image

It seems fairly acceptable in our society these days to accept stress as “normal”. Technology designed to make life easier has in fact made life busier with a constant flow of information, requests and demands on our time and things to attend to all run by numbers on a calendar, in a bank account or on a clock that our thoughts about them react to.

More and more automated voice options on phones that don’t get you where you need to be to actually speak to a human being does not add relief to our stress levels as they provide less and less customer service along with more and more frustration. We have less time to grow and cook good food and less time with loved ones because we are all so “busy”.

Whereas once upon a time you wrote a letter, wandered down to the post box and posted it, it was received and you then waited for a reply these days as soon as an email arrives there is an inclination to attend to it almost immediately in order to continue on with what you are doing or to attend to some “urgent” matter that has suddenly arisen. It seems too that being more and more productive is constantly pushed by bosses in the name of profit and greed. Combined with that the volume of information available these days on the internet can be and often is quite overwhelming.

Where once upon a time you only heard local or national news now you are bombarded with news about disasters, insanities and atrocities from all over the planet wherever you go which generally speaking you are helpless to do a damn thing about other than to either feel empathy for those involved, have a re-action to which is usually either anger or sadness and be ever so grateful for your own situation in a country such as Australia. Or you can always just turn it all off.

The push for more and more productivity, more and more profit driven greed is massive though and as the planet’s health is affected by it, so too is ours. If we have a day where we simply can just take in no more information, where all we want to do is just roll the rock over the cave entrance and hibernate, stay in our jim jams and sloth about simply because we just cannot be bothered with any of it or we feel like we just cannot do anything more without some shutdown time, our conditioning is, generally speaking to think we are lazy or are being self-indulgent. In recent days even our government here in Oz has decided it’s a damn good thing if people born after a certain year now continue working until they are 70 before they will be able to receive any government assistance by way of a pension.

When folk get snappy at others it is usually because they are rushing around frantically with a million things in their heads all screaming for attention, they are not present at all. They are in fact either living in the past in their heads or living in the future and so the reason usually given for a snappy or rude attitude and tone of voice is in many situations tied in with stress.

We, as humans, are not computers where buttons can just be pushed and information is rapidly processed, yet by many and perhaps even ourselves we have become conditioned to expect we can. However even the best computers need de-fragging and deletion of old files when they start to run slowly. Many people too are so busy talking about all their dramas and stresses or whinging and gossiping about other folk there is simply no space or time for self-reflection or introspection. As for self-nurturing well that is just something many don’t have “time” for.

A typical day for most of us (not exactly in this order but you will get the gist of it) is being rapidly brought out of sleep by a screaming “alarm”, so we are “alarmed” before we even get out of bed, a frantic rush out the door to get to where we need to be trying to make sure we have all we need, a day being bombarded with “stuff” by much and many, a frantic rush to get children where they need to be (if we have them), a frantic rush home to do whatever needs doing that night and then a run around situation on a weekend just to get ready for the following week. Folk work incredibly long hours to maintain jobs many really are not even happy doing, to either just survive or to pay off debt they have acquired to buy “stuff” they are usually so busy working to pay for they don’t get much time to enjoy the “stuff”, nor do they get much time to spend with those in their lives who they love and care about.

It all seems like total insanity to me and always has done even though I too have participated in it for several decades.

At some point in our evolution we have gone from a day that consisted of a natural rhythm of waking up at sunrise, washing and gathering our food for the day, making things we needed, not wanted (there is a massive difference) all of which nature provided us with the resources to do, spending time with our “tribe”, cooking, laughing, planting, caring for each other, telling stories, making music, harvesting crops and living a very simple but way more fulfilling life to my way of thinking than we all presently have and then going to sleep not too long after the sun went down. What we call “stress” has been part of humanity forever for it actually comes from the fight or flight response we all contain.

When “stressed” the adrenal glands create adrenalin which then makes our hearts pump faster and harder so that blood can be moved to our big muscles in order that we have enough oomph to either fight, literally for our very lives, or take flight rapidly to save our lives. We also breathe rather shallowly when stressed so not as much oxygen is available to pump our blood. The whole purpose of “stress” and the impact it has on our bodies is purely about survival and was designed to last for only a very short time to keep us safe. I became aware recently that it is seen to be a 15 minute maximum scenario.

So, what happens when we are “stressed” constantly – high blood pressure happens, sore throats happen if we are not speaking our truth, anxiety happens, nervous disorders happen, lack of sleep happens, headaches happen, muscles ache and so many other horrid impacts to our body, emotions and minds happens and whilst we all know stress isn’t healthy for us and we tout it is a killer – it is indeed very much a killer by nature of the human body when experienced on an ongoing basis. It is very often the case that unless or until it makes us really sick we just carry on Columbus with it as a constant companion.

I am speaking from hard learnt experience here and often it is the case that you really don’t realise just how stressed you were until you move into a space of not being stressed. For a time it is actually a really weird feeling to not be stressed, to not be racing around like a lunatic and to not be constantly achieving or producing. Many people when they start experiencing stress symptoms like digestive disorders and other apparent signs like I have mentioned above have the inbuilt conditioning to go see a doctor and get some pills so they can “carry on”. The pills they take have possible “side effects” which aren’t really things that happen on the side and are in fact effects and whilst yes for some pharmaceuticals are the answer for more and more of us they are fast not becoming the answer. The western medical system is a whole other topic and for some it works, for some it doesn’t. This article is not about that particular system for better or for worse or about my giving anyone advice. Essentially though what I have learned is that whenever we aren’t feeling well it is always a sign that the body wants and NEEDS rest and that in all situations where my own body is concerned there is a blockage of energy that needs releasing.

So what causes stress? Quite simply our own thinking causes the bulk of our stress. As an example I once was travelling to the city to work, the train was delayed due to an electrical failure totally out of rail employee’s control. They took action to get the fault repaired, they called for buses to take stranded passengers to where they needed to go and they informed all passengers what was going on.

There were well over a couple of hundred folk who this electrical fault impacted on. There was quite simply nothing more the rail employees could do about any of it and people just needed to ring their employers, inform them they would be late and wait for the buses. Most were fine with that but several became so anxious and extremely rude, loud, aggressive and obnoxious towards the rail employees simply because things hadn’t gone according to their plan that morning and so yes now they would be late for work. Their thoughts about whatever they were now going to be late for and perhaps how their own bosses would re-act to them being late were a trigger that created such a scene many fellow commuters were embarrassed by their behaviour and it led to many feeling and expressing empathy for the railway employees.

There is a story in Women Who Run With The Wolves. You can find it on page 328. If you don’t have a copy of this incredible and always life changing book of many stories for those who have read it, I do suggest you track down a copy, you will not regret it. I’ve had my copy since the early 90s and I still find such a lot of information, wisdom and inspiration within its pages.

The story I am referring to is called The Three Gold Hairs. It fits extremely well into the scenario of stress in our “modern world” and its impact on us. We actually become the old and withered dying man in that story as more and more stress envelops us until there comes a time where we simply cannot go on any longer with the pressure of the work “force” sucking away at us and impacting on us as we stagger through the dark forest with stress as our companion, primarily due to this whole work till you drop, constantly achieve and produce mentality that has become the norm for so many of us. We are really beings not doings and whilst yes there are things we need to do it appears to me we become healthier, more alive, more patient, more accepting and more energised when we do what we love to do, not what we feel or think we have to do.

It is a very necessary part of the feminine nature of life regardless of the sexual gender of our bodies to stop, to rest, to restore, to sleep, to dream and to nurture ourselves and to not allow our thoughts or the energy of others to create stress which engulfs us, for we are a bit like freshly baked juicy apple pies – steaming hot out of the oven and all will want a piece of us – just remember to always leave some for yourself and to bake yourself a new pie before you run out.

Cheers, Cheryl.

© Cheryl O’Connor 2014.

•*´☾☆☽`*•

‪#‎Cheryl‬ O’Connor.
‪#‎Holistic‬ ‪#‎Counsellor‬, Author & Writer.

* Cognitive & Body Based Counselling.
* Creative & Artistic Therapies.
* Specialising in ‪#‎Dream‬ ‪#‎Analysis‬/‪#‎Conscious‬ ‪#‎Dreaming‬ & ‪#‎Shamanic‬ Journeying.
* ‪#‎Reiki‬/‪#‎Seichim‬ Treatments & Attunements.
* Isis ‪#‎Meditation‬.

Newsletter Subscription @ bit.ly/CheocoNews – All subscribers will receive a 10% discount on their first initial consultation for any of my services along with 10 pages of awesome tips and tricks to help you start deciphering the language of your Soul, your dreams, as well as the symbolism of what appears to you daily.

Website @ www.cheocoenterprises.com
My book The Promise, Skype & Email Consultations Available – bit.ly/Cheocoshop

FB: https://www.facebook.com/cheocoenterprises
Skype: cheryloconnor333

Twitter: Cheryl O’Connor@Cheoco99
Email: cheoco99@yahoo.com.au

BODY BASED COUNSELLING

chakra-chart-e1272122675785What follows is an essay  I was required to write whilst undertaking a years study in this form of counselling.   As a student and recipient of the theories and methodologies used I emerged from the year feeling like I had done 10 years worth of internal healing work.  I found it to be full of extremely empowering methods of healing and self awareness.   I am presently undertaking further counselling studies and plan on incorporating the methods taught to me as outlined here in my counselling practice with clients in due course.  I hope you enjoy the read and if you have any queries please don’t hesitate to contact me.   Cheers, Cheryl.

BODY BASED COUNSELLING

This method of counselling has emerged from the Anthroposophical viewpoint held by Rudolf Steiner, which sees the human being to exist as a four-fold multi-dimensional being.

The Physical Body is seen to be a map of our accumulated emotions and feelings and it is believed that there is a very definite connection between our thoughts, emotions, Spirit/Soul and physical body. (Sophia College Course Notes, 2005.)

The human body is also seen from this viewpoint to contain what is known as energy centres or chakras. Chakras are seen by some such as Steiner, Brennan (1987), White (1993), Baginski and Sharamon (1985), as centres of moving energy, which lay vertically, along the middle of the human body with a core of energy (life/breath) running through them, feeding them. This core of energy comes in through the crown chakra and goes out through the base chakra and then circulates around the body. White (1993) is of the opinion that the seven chakras, their location and basic corresponding colours are as follows:-

· Base – located in the groin area – red.
· Sacral – located in the pelvic area – orange.
· Solar Plexus – where our “gut” feelings are located – yellow.
· Heart – located in the centre of our chest – green.
· Throat – centre of the throat – blue.
· Forehead – above the nose and eyebrows in the centre of the forehead – violet.
· Crown – located at the top of our heads – white. (White,1993.)

The Energy Body is seen to be our etheric body and appears as a finer layer surrounding the physical, which also enters the physical and assists in repairing the physical body and in maintaining physical and mental health. It is also known in some cultures as the pranic, chi, or breath body. The etheric body thrives if given lots of water, good food, rhythmical activity, natural environments, lots of fresh air and sufficient sleep. (Sophia College Course Notes, 2005)

The Astral body is the main body, which stores the memories of our experiences, and it is considered to be the lower layer of mind consciousness. It is perceived that if the etheric body is weak, or weakened then the astral body pushes through it, into the physical and impacts or impinges on the physical body. The stronger the etheric body, the less likely the astral body is to impinge on the physical body and consequently the healthier the physical body is. (Sophia College Course Notes, 2005.)

The Fourth Body is seen to be the Higher Self or “I am” which is perceived to be our inner knowing, divine self or the core of who we truly are that contains the strength, courage, wisdom and tenacity to rise above our human limitations. (Sophia College Course Notes, 2005.)

However, the human body is thought to be even more complex by some such as Brennan (1987). Brennan (1987) perceives the human being to consist of seven main layers, stating:-

“The longer I worked the more layers I could perceive. The higher the layer, the more expanded my consciousness needed to be to see it.” (Brennan, 1987, p. 42)

The main seven “layers” Ms. Brennan has become aware of (Brennan, 1987, p. 148) are as follows:-

Physical body
Etheric body
Emotional body
Mental body
Astral body
Etheric Template body
Celestial body
Ketheric Template body

It is thought by Brennan (1987) that each layer has its own purpose and that each layer is associated with a particular chakra. Ruth White (1993) also claims that her work has made her aware of more energy centres within the body than is normally described.

Even though Brennan (1987) uses the term layers when describing the energetic bodies surrounding the physical body she does not perceive this to be a totally accurate description as she sees these “layers” as being:-

“a more expansive version of our self that carries within it the other, more limited forms.” (Brennan, 1987, p.43.)

According to Brennan (1987) she believes that each “layer” interpenetrates completely the one below it, including the physical and states:-

“the emotional body extends beyond the etheric and physical body.” (Brennan, 1987, p.43)

Brennan (1987) also perceives that each layer has its own purpose and that each layer is associated with a particular chakra. It is also believed in body based counselling and by Brennan (1987), White (1993), Bogainski and Sharamon (1985) all of whom work in the area of energetic healing or what has become known as Spiritual Healing or Reiki/Seichim, that each chakra resonates with a particular colour and sound.

However many “layers” or “chakras” do exist according to various individuals, one thing is clear and that is that the physical body and mind are seen by many not to be just all there is which constitutes a human being.

Causes of Ill Health

Body based counselling has in common with energetic healers such as those mentioned the same belief that ill health, disease and re-active behaviour stem from lack of breath (life force energy) in certain areas of the body due to negative imprints or wounds located in the various layers or bodies which extend beyond the physical body usually caused by suppression of emotions, fear, trauma, grief or beliefs we subconsciously hold onto about ourselves and that the body is a map by which we can ascertain where those imprints are actually impacting. (Sophia College Course Notes, 2005)

In Reiki/Seichim and also in body based counselling this impacting or imprinting is known as a wound, leakage or blockage of energy occurring within the body and when consciousness and the breath is brought into any area where there is pain subconscious memories surface and with them also emotions. In that process comes awareness and understanding of the true cause creating the symptoms of pain, illness, and irrational or re-active behaviour. Once consciousness of cause does occur a release of the negative imprint creating the situation results and once again life/breath can flow freely in that area painlessly. Once that has been achieved there also comes a sense of acceptance, well-being, peace, balance, purpose and fulfilment. (Brennan, 1987), Sophia College Course Notes, 2005), White (1993) and Gainski and Sharamon (1985).

Brennan, (1987) sees that:-

“illness is a result of imbalance” and that “imbalance is a result of forgetting who you are.” (Brennan, 1987, p. 131).

She also is of the opinion that:-

“all suffering is caused by the illusion of separateness, which generates fear and self-hatred, which eventually causes illness” (Brennan, 1987, preface)

Others such as Baginski and Sharamon (1985, Pgs. 122 & 123) see that our bodies are outward signs of inward consciousness and that:-

“each symptom is a specific message, which has to be recognized, accepted and integrated before we can get well again.” (1985 Pg. 124).

Lubeck (1995) is also of the view that before repressed parts of a person can be integrated so that healing occurs on a holistic level they need to be brought into conscious awareness.

Again one thing is clear in body based counselling and in energetic healing, rather than just applying a quick fix “band-aid” solution to a particular symptom, cause is looked for, brought into conscious awareness and released by the return of breath/life force energy, into that part of the body bringing about permanent and positive change because it is understood that symptoms will just continue to manifest in other areas of the body or in other ways of behaving if this is not the case. (Sophia College Course Notes, 2005.), (Brennan, 1987), (White,1993) and Baginski and Sharamon (1985).

Method of Healing

Body based counselling uses a variety of artistic therapies including clay to find, become aware of and release the subconscious energetic imprints hampering our lives and well-being. Movement is another component used, which allows the stepping into, gesturing of and unblocking of memories that are locked into the body at a cellular level by making the gesture of the pain and releasing that gesture from the body with sound. (Sophia College Course Notes and Lectures, 2005.)

By use of clay, water colour painting, drawing and general use of colour (Eilgenburg 2004) it becomes apparent what the shape of a pain looks like, where the breath is trapped and what colours or other resources need to be brought in to restore balance. By a very simple method known as Enter, Exit, Behold one can step into the bodily memory, obtain the information that is required, step out of it and release it. One can also use the Enter, Exit, Behold method to acquire the knowledge of what resources they need for themselves. (Sophia College Course Notes and Lectures, 2005).

This method of Enter, Exit, Behold alleviates the need to fully sink into and feel all the emotional pain or mental anguish which originally caused the imbalance or pain, which can often have a detrimental effect in that it leaves you feeling debilitated and “stuck” in the past pain of whatever trauma, grief, sense of loss or attack you once experienced, for days after or even weeks on end. (Personal experience of using this method.)

Often it is impossible for an emotion or pain to be described verbally or spoken of and working with clay brings that which cannot be spoken into manifestation in order for it to be seen and healed. Using it makes the intangible tangible and it is a very direct method of wordless communication to become more aware of, express, release and transform blockages and feelings. (Sophia College Course Notes, Lectures and personal experience, 2005.)

Client/Counsellor Relationship

When thinking of this relationship I am reminded of two phrases “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink” and “Catch a man a fish and you feed him for a day, teach him how to fish and you feed him for life”. For I see that the same principles apply when it comes to counselling full stop whether it be body based or otherwise and also energetic healing, which I perceive as being the same.

I feel it is imperative, in order for lasting change to occur, that the client have an expressed desire or wish for change to occur. That they state they do want to enter the process, that they make a conscious choice to do so and that they also take responsibility for themselves.

It is perceived that the client has all the knowledge and resources they need within them and that it is the Counsellor’s role to provide another with the safety and support needed to explore themselves more fully, guiding them to their own realizations by giving instructions, asking questions, making suggestions and giving directions, whilst teaching them how to use the tools and resources available with which to heal and strengthen themselves. (Sophia College Course Notes, Lectures 2005 and personal experience.)

Evaluating Change

Change is most apparent when we observe how a client is looking when they first present in comparison to how they leave. With body based counselling a client may come in barely breathing and be in a state of anxiety and distress. They may also present as being weighted, pushed down and lacking vitality.

A painting, drawing or clay piece completed during a session will appear very different in the before and after context of the Counsellor’s assistance. In drawings and paintings more colour will usually be present after intervention and also the second painting or drawing will have the appearance of being expanded rather than its original contraction. Change will also be apparent in the various pieces of clay work undertaken, again resulting in a more expansive, less contracted state.

The client will also be breathing much more deeply than they previously were and will present as being less anxious or overwhelmed and be feeling more self-empowered and positive. They also may appear to be a lot calmer and more at peace with themselves and they will present as being more upright, less uptight, light and expansive.

(Sophia College Course Notes, Lectures 2005 and personal experiences.)

© Cheryl O’Connor 2014 – Image sourced from internet – creator unknown.

•*´☾☆☽`*•

‪#‎Cheryl‬ O’Connor.
‪#‎Holistic‬ ‪#‎Counsellor‬, Author & Writer.

* Cognitive & Body Based Counselling.
* Creative & Artistic Therapies.
* Specialising in ‪#‎Dream‬ ‪#‎Analysis‬/‪#‎Conscious‬ ‪#‎Dreaming‬ & ‪#‎Shamanic‬ Journeying.
* ‪#‎Reiki‬/‪#‎Seichim‬ Treatments & Attunements.
* Isis ‪#‎Meditation‬.

Newsletter Subscription @ bit.ly/CheocoNews – All subscribers will receive a 10% discount on their first initial consultation for any of my services along with 10 pages of awesome tips and tricks to help you start deciphering the language of your Soul, your dreams, as well as the symbolism of what appears to you daily.

Website @ www.cheocoenterprises.com
My book The Promise, Skype & Email Consultations Available – bit.ly/Cheocoshop

FB: https://www.facebook.com/cheocoenterprises
Skype: cheryloconnor333

Twitter: Cheryl O’Connor@Cheoco99
Email: cheoco99@yahoo.com.au