It’s a biggy isn’t it?

No doubt we’ve all believed what someone has told us with everything in us and then wham we learn the hard way that person is NOT to be trusted. So… where do you go from there once trust is gone? I haven’t yet experienced that you can re-build it totally with the person who broke it. At the very least you are indeed wary of believing much anymore that comes out of that person’s mouth.

Yet we innately trust when we are children. We trust we will be fed, bathed, clothed and we don’t concern ourselves too much at all really with the adult world of money, distrust, blame, judgment or gossip.  Young children have no awareness of there being a me and them and they are full of trust and love.

As women, when we are pregnant we trust that the life we have growing inside us knows exactly what it’s doing. We all trust that we can breathe, we trust that our blood flows through our veins 24/7 and that our bodies know, somehow, how to work properly without us having to think too much about any of it. We trust the sun will come up each day and we trust that the seasons will come and go as they have done for eons.

Many trust that there is a higher power that is guiding them in their lives. They can’t see it but most trust that it exists in the form of God or whatever other label we use to describe something that we believe is outside of us that we think has power over us and our lives. When good things happen we thank “God” or the Universe or whatever our belief is. When bad things happen, generally speaking, we play the blame game.  Many have horrible, shocking, terrible things happen to them and then say how could “God” let that happen?  Some people come into this world and then are gone again rather quickly and again many of us say “they were too young to die” because our expectation, generally speaking, is that folk once born will live to ripe old ages.

Personally I figure we are all here only for as long as we need to be, to do whatever it is we came to do and once we have accomplished that, we go.  It’s almost like being contracted for a certain period of time to do a job, only thing is we often don’t know when our or another person’s contract will end.

So much in our lives often happens for reasons that many of us don’t get to even see until much further down the track and it can be difficult at times to remain trusting of that process.  It is like we live in a shadow world here. A world that has had for many a long time a blanket of fear, greed and ignorance, separation, power and control thrown over it with many only starting in recent times to lift that blanket off themselves and consequently the world.

It occurs to me that it is rather odd that we put our faith and trust in something that cannot be seen, which we think is external to us, like what we refer to as “God” and yet we cannot trust that the folk who come into our lives who we can see, do so to show us something about ourselves we haven’t yet seen.

It seems to me that a bit of a battle also occurs within when our logic and our conditioning tells us one thing yet our gut tells us another. Our logic can come up with any reasonable justification for anything we like to tell ourselves and at the end of the day it’s all just a story but how many folk actually stop the head chatter long enough to essentially feel, listen to and trust our own gut feelings regardless of what anyone tells us?  How many of us rush into situations due to feeling needy, pressured or even guilty then once we’ve dived in wonder how the hell can I now get out of this?

Experience tells me gut feelings are our warning alarm bells that come from what we refer to as “God”, “Goddess” etc.  The more we pay attention to them, like building a muscle, the stronger they get, the more frequently they are felt.  They, along with synchronicity and looking at all symbolically as an aspect of self rather than literally, are things we can use to guide us as we do our Earth Walks.

Generally speaking our whole western cultured education system is learning about data and rules and then being tested on our ability to remember them.  It’s all mostly head work so many of us have been conditioned to be very busy in our heads not even pay attention to what I call gut nav.  Much of what we learn in school becomes rather useless when we leave that environment for we are not taught life skills, just facts, figures and numbers and we are conditioned to learn what is and isn’t acceptable behaviour within the societies we live in.  Our western conditioning is also geared around do well at school, i.e. follow the rules and pass all their tests, then perhaps go on to further study, get a good paying job, buy lots of things, perhaps travel for a bit, find a mate, “settle down”, have children, get yourself into a bucket load of debt and then live happily ever after – hmmm doesn’t really quite work like that does it?

Perhaps it doesn’t work that way for ever so many because that is what exists in our heads, what has been drummed into many of us from an early age, it is not what exists in our hearts and how would many of us even know what exists in our hearts when we have been told from a very young age, generally speaking, absolutely zip shit about listening to them and trusting our own gut nav to help us navigate our paths in life?

We constantly, mostly, seek outside ourselves for answers, opinions from others when we are needing advice and validation of our own self-worth, never having really being taught how to listen to and trust our own inner workings and gut nav in daily situations we find ourselves in.  We most definitely, a lot of the time, put our trust into others and not ourselves.  Then we get our noses all out of whack when someone lets us down due to our own expectations which live in our heads.

Many speak of unconditional love – i.e. meaning loving folk without conditions/expectations attached.  Love is just love and it is not something that we have been conditioned to feel and live for conditioning lives in our heads, not our hearts.  So for me the term unconditional love takes on a whole new meaning i.e. Love is not that which we have been conditioned to believe it is.  Our expectations more than anything are what truly let us down when we trust them and others more than we do our own hearts and gut nav.

So very often we get angry with and blame others for whatever we feel as if it is their fault they have let us down.  Really we are just angry with ourselves for allowing that to occur due to our expectations.  Rarely are we honest enough with ourselves to say to ourselves I participated in that situation for whatever reason and start to dig deeper into ourselves to find the gold nugget of learning or even healing the experience has given us.

At the end of the day trust in our own Self and in life is what is learned, usually the hard way, and when we can trust ourselves way more than we can by putting our blind faith and trust into others, we have freedom from blame, expectations and we have peace.

Cheers, Cheryl.

© C. O’Connor.

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#Cheryl O’Connor.
#Holistic #Counsellor, Author & Writer.

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